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  • Post last modified:December 11, 2020
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Mom’s Question:

My 3-month-old will only let me, her mother holds her. She screams when anybody else holds her including the father, is this normal? It is frustrating and I worry that she is not bonding properly with her dad. Also, it makes me so exhausted.

I don’t know what to do. Anyone else experiencing this?


Baby Helpline:

What To Do When Baby Only Wants Mom

Your situation is exhausting for sure and also common and completely normal! Most babies have periods when only mom will do.

For the young baby to only want mom is part of their bonding process. The baby first bonds and learns to feel completely secure with one person and only then will the process continue full speed with someone else. The most common steps will be to first bond with mom and then with dad (and then with siblings, relatives, friends et cetera.)

If your baby really will not accept being held by dad at all, make sure that dad is close to you and your baby as much as possible. If he interacts, talks, smiles, and so on with your baby, she will start feeling secure with him too.

And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed.

Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. Dad can go down on the floor or bed and play together. (Here are some tips on games to play with a 3-month-old.)

Finally, take a look at the tips here for some other parents with a baby screaming in dad’s arms.

I hope this helps,
Find comments below.

Comments for “My 3 Month Old Only Wants Mom To Hold Her”

Sep 01, 2011In The Same Boat

by: Anonymous

Very Normal!
My daughter is 5 months and still only wants ME!
Which your family members who hold her which results in her screaming should not take it personally. Odds are your around baby a LOT more than they are. Plus, the baby spent 9 months inside your womb only hearing you! She recognizes you and feels comfortable with you.
Enjoy it while it lasts because it will be gone before you know it =)

Nov 05, 2011same here

by: Anonymous

I’m in the exact same position, my almost four-month-old won’t let her dad hold her. she’s not too bad with my sister, but she seems to like women more than men. I’m hoping she will grow out of it soon as I’m heading back to work in two months and wouldn’t want to leave a screaming baby with anyone. fingers crossed!

Jan 06, 20124 month old only wants mom

by: Anonymous

My 4-month-old only wants me or even dad. But not really anyone else. And people take it personally and get mad. I’m finding that I always feel like I have to explain myself of why she is that way. I actually am getting mad that they are getting mad. Not sure about what to do. Because I don’t mind that my baby only wants me.

Apr 28, 2012Fussy Baby

by: Lily

I know exactly how you feel! My baby is most content with me. I love it that I make her happy but once she’s with grandma or uncle or someone else she is ok for a few mins then gets cranky. once shes in my arms shes happy again. shes a little better with her daddy than other people but it’s not the same as when shes with me. I’m just hoping she will get better as she spends more time with them.

May 26, 2012ditto

by: Anonymous

I have the same problem…. she will let her dad hold her but when she is really upset only I can calm her down. we live with family and she sees them every day but it does not matter. my one brother says it is bc I am overbearing. I get nervous when we want to go out bc people want to hold her and I am not sure how to politely say no.

Nov 02, 20123 1/2-month-old son

by: Michelle

My little guy has totally changed from loving everyone to only handling others for so long and then needs his mom again. I and my husband have tried to go out twice and end up getting called home from an aunt and gramma. Hope he gets better bso we can have some alone time again.

Dec 29, 2012same problem
by: Anonymous

Hi everyone
I am a first-time mom. my daughter is 4 months old. Since 2 1/2 month old, she has been like that, she wants only her mum to hold her. I have to go to work and am unable to do so. I want to know how long this will last. Now she is 4 months old and she let her dad holds her. Any1 has an idea of how long will it take for her to get along with other people. I have appointed a babysitter for her. The sitter tries to stay with her, but sometimes she starts crying nonstop, I have to take her back. Sometimes I am very worried about that as I need to get back to work. I am trying different methods to make her get used to the sitter.

Jan 08, 2013My baby cries for EVERYONE but me.

by: Jeremy

My daughter is a little over 3 months and she will only calm down when I hold her. When I leave for work My wife deals with a screaming baby for 10.5 hours per night… I am very very concerned. I have read things that screaming with hurt development. My wife had a few illnesses that prevented her to be around the baby for about 2.5 weeks when she was about 5 weeks old. That meant I had to everything.. I e feeding, bathing, changing… everything. I enjoyed the time. My baby has acid reflux and is on Prevacid twice a day.. and she had erbs palsy in her right arm.. So let’s just say the past 3 months have been nothing short of HELL. So, when I get home at 1am from work my baby is crying… no screaming in her mother’s arms but the instant I take her… immediate calmness. This is my first baby and I don’t know what else to do. My wife has tried really hard helping with feedings, diaper changes, etc. Any advice that helps with this.

Mar 20, 20133.5 month old baby girl

by: Anonymous

My 3.5-month-old baby girl has bonded with me very well, so much that she only wants me to hold her and the last 4 weeks have been okay with her dad holding her now. She used to cry when he would hold her, I figured it was because I was taking care of her all day and breastfeeding her. She usually see her grandma and grandma every week but she will cry at the top of her lungs if they hold her. I would like her to be able to bond with her other family members but this is not the case. I would like her grandma to babysit too to give us a break but the intense crying from my baby worries me to much that I don’t to leave her. I have to go back to work soon so I’m very concerned about this.

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