My baby doesn’t want me, and I’m the MOM!?
Here’s a discussion on what might be going on if your baby doesn’t seem to want to go to their primary caregiver, in this case a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Is it a normal development process or something to address? And in such a case, how?
Parents in a similar situation have contributed their thoughts, too.
My baby doesn’t want me. She is 9 months old and really wants nothing to do with me, and I am her mom!
She wants her dad and brother and sister but not me. I am a stay-at-home mom; you would think I would be all that she wants, but that is not the case.
What have I done wrong? I do everything for her all the time. It breaks my heart.
Tips When Independent 9-Month-Old Doesn’t Want Mom
Your little girl is at the age where the world is opening up, she is probably getting mobile, and it is wonderful that she has the confidence to go to other people. Many Moms are so relieved to be able to pass their baby onto someone else for a bit of a break, so make the most of it!
You are obviously a very dedicated Mother and are the primary caregiver for your baby. But remember, she has you all day, and it is so exciting when someone new comes home. Other people have different tones of voice and talk excitedly when they arrive home, and this clearly stimulates your baby.
Babies also love other children and are captivated by them. The advantage younger siblings have is the stimulation of older brothers and sisters. Don’t see this as a personal thing about you; you are not in competition for her attention.
As her parent, it is your job to encourage her to learn to relate to many different people. A baby is not here to fill our needs.
Your little girl has gotten such a lovely start with her Mom that she is keen to relate to others, which is a great thing. It is not good for her to only want attention from you; she needs to learn to relate to and learn from all sorts of people.
When you do have time alone with her, play games with her, like peek-a-boo, nursery rhymes, clapping games, etc. You can find tips on games to play with a 9-month-old here.
Moms are often busy with the day-to-day chores of parenting and don’t get so much of the fun times. So make sure you make the most of your time alone with her and do your chores when the others are home and can take over watching the baby.
Most of all, just enjoy her, and don’t be jealous of her interest in other people; it shows you have given her a great start in life.
All the best,
To help you feel less alone and deal with your feelings around this, you can check out this discussion with parents in a similar situation.
Hey parents, share your thoughts and experiences of similar situations below!
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing is based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians that you find here. They write or review all health-related articles.