What if the baby cries with grandma? Here, a sad grandma asked what she is doing wrong since her granddaughter cries when grandma holds her.
Here’s our answer as well as some been-there-done-that comments from other grandparents.
Grandmom’s Question:
She will smile while mom and dad hold her and I talk to her, but if I make eye contact, my granddaughter puckers up and cries. It breaks my heart.
I babysat last night and she just cried and cried. I think she hates me. I don’t wear heavy perfume, I brush my teeth to be sure my breath is fresh, and I talk softly to her.
Why is she crying when she is with me? What am I doing wrong?
Baby Crying When Seeing Grandma
Your granddaughter does not hate you! Infants are very attached to their parents for a while and they are the only people they want to be with. Often, not even Dad will do! When my son was younger, he would not go to anyone without crying. He would only go to my husband for a few minutes and then he would want to come right back to me.
It may take a little while but your granddaughter will form a great bond with you that will last a lifetime if you just let the process take its time. Don’t give up on her, and don’t think that there is anything wrong with any of you. You don’t mention how old your granddaughter is, but during their first whole year, most babies go through stages of being afraid of a lot of things including everyone else but their mom or dad. It is a natural development and actually good in the sense that it shows that your granddaughter’s mind is developing.
Be patient and approach her gently. Ask her parents to show pictures of you often and maybe record yourself talking or singing a little song that they play often too. Then do not try to take her to your lap or anything like that right now – just continue being around her as much as possible while she is happy and try to approach her just a little bit, all smiling, to slowly start building your bond.
Her reactions are not meant to harm you, so please do not take them personally!
Best wishes to you and your family,
Paula
More Crying Babies
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Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing is based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians that you find here. They write or review all health-related articles.
Hi my grandson is turning 6 months on the 23th and I am going through the same thing sometime he will smile at me and laugh when I play with him this is my first grandson me and my daughter and my husband are living with my mom and her boyfriend so it is kind of difficult he smiles a lot more when he sees them sometimes I just feel like he doesn’t want anything to with me
It has helped some to know I am not the only grandma to whom this is happening. My five month old grandchild turned on me about two months ago. I don’t get to see her as often as her other grandma does because we live 75 miles away but I try really hard to see her each week. She just screams and stiffens up her body when she sees me. I am so heartbroken I can’t stop crying. I wanted to be a grandma so badly and now this has happened. My son and daughter I law won’t allow me to baby sit because of the child’s distress when I am around. My husband is afraid I am going to say something to them that will cause them to never let us see the baby again. I won’t do that, of course, but I have never been this hurt or felt this devastated.
I don’t know what to do,, I miss my granddaughter so much, she has been put into the care of her aunt, her aunt will not let me see her. I thought for sure I was doing right thing by reporting my concerns to the CAS, but they sure proved me wrong. When I did get my granddaughter for visits, I dreaded the thought of bringing her home, because she would cry and scream when it was time for her to go home, I would drop her off there she would be standing in the door way looking at me crying, I’d leave crying, get home just think what am I doing, I had to take her home, I even called the CAS told them she did not want to go home, I even reported the aunt to CAS. just don’t know, all I know is I miss and love my granddaughter so much
My 3rd grandchild, my grandson who is one month old today, ALWAYS pukes his feeding up with, ONLY me. It breaks my heart too, even more so when,
I found out from his oldest sister, who heard a friend of her moms, (my daughter), say,
“Maybe he senses something about her…”- that made me feel worse. And now, I am doing all I can too love him, but not hold him. I can’t. I don’t want to make him puke again :(