My daughter just turned 2 years old last week and my libido is still not back. I still breastfeed because I can’t seem to stop my daughter from wanting to nurse.
She’s my 3rd child. I breastfed my 2 sons and the longest was 18 months, and it took 3 days for him to know he wasn’t going to be breastfed anymore. My daughter doesn’t want to give in. She is sleeping with me and my husband, and when my husband and I do have a chance to have sex when she’s with my sons in the other room I have to force myself to have sex.
I have absolutely no sex drive. My mind wants to, but my body doesn’t. I wish I would have started to lay my daughter in her own bed earlier in age, so my husband and I could have more alone time. My husband is very understanding and patient, so it’s not affecting our relationship too much. But I don’t feel normal and I don’t really know what to do?
Easy Baby Life:
Low Libido While Breastfeeding A Toddler
I think what you describe is actually very common for new moms, breastfeeding or not.
Extended breastfeeding really is great from a health perspective, although it probably can have an effect on your libido, just like you describe. However, being 2 years old, I would assume that breast milk is quite a small part of your daughter’s nutrition? And the breastfeeding hormones should not be nearly as strong as when she was fully breastfed. Has your period come back?
I would guess that the combination of hormones, no time for yourself, no time alone with your hubby three kids and did I mention no time for yourself, is more than enough to effectively kill your libido.
I really think you should get out of the house with or without your hubby, but definitely without your children more often to catch your breath. You’ll find babysitting tips here, if you need them. Also, some researchers claim that 3 years of low libido after childbirth is common and normal, regardless of hormones. I would suspect that pure exhaustion (and no time for yourself) are the main reasons for that.
If you need tips on how to stop nursing your daughter to sleep, you find them here.
Hang in there! You have a great husband, by the way :-)
PS: Anyone else experiencing low libido long after giving birth? Share your thoughts and comments below.
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Reasons for low libido while breastfeeding.
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I have a 2 yr old that I’m trying to wean for the second time.. The first time was last year and he was 1 1/2, I started to get my sex drive back very quickly but then I slipped up and started breast feeding often again and my sex drive went splat! I don’t even have the urge for self pleasure… It’s awful! I don’t have to urge to sleep with my Bf but I do anyway because I don’t want him to suffer.. I know he senses it! So I’m desperately trying to wean my 2 yr old not for just my sex drive but for other reasons as well..
I have had 5 children so I’m pretty tired all the time anyway, even though I have a fantastic husband that does help loads with all the chores around the house it’s still draining when you’re with the kids all through the day whilst he’s at work.
For the last 3 children I’ve had I have breastfed each one for a year and during that time wasn’t having periods and absolutely no sex drive what so ever, then I stopped breastfeeding and my periods came back then my sex drive was getting better and decided to try for another baby and fell pregnant straight away. Then my sex drive disappeared again. 9 months later I gave birth, breastfeed for a year, periods came back, sex drive came back and wanted another baby and fell pregnant straight away again and sex drive once again completely disappeared.
I am still feeding the newest addition and she’s just over a year. Within the last 3 years, I experienced sex/love making fewer than 10 times. I am in my early 30’s. The way I feel now I could quite happily go without. But it’s no good for the marriage. We need to both be happy.
What do I do when I’m feeling so negative to the whole love making thing?????
Wow, this is my life in duplicate. I also have 5 kids and my libido is at an all time low. I’m currently breastfeeding my daughter who has just turned 2. My husband is supportive and does a lot around the house yet I can see that he’s frustrated and this is taking its toll. I really feel for you.
I have a 3 month old most handsome baby boy. My partner is so wonderful that I cry just thinking about him. But since giving birth I have lost all interest in sex.
Before I was a real slutty in bed, now it takes him all his love and patience to get me into the mood, and even then I rarely come. I hope this condition will improve. I am angry at not being able to reach orgasm as before.