Here are my tips for improving sex life after pregnancy. Sometimes it’s hard even to make sex happen again after new baby. These tips helped us and we have three kids now. Maybe they’ll help you too.
(Contributed by a Dad of three kids)
Tip 1. Time of the Day
For you, new parents, you will soon learn that sex at night is never going to happen.
Why?
Because you and your wife are too tired to get into the mood. Try having your intimate times early in the day, like before lunch, and Mom will respond much better to intimate advances.
Tip 2. The Babysitter
The proper use of a baby sitter is not to take care of your children in your house while you leave.
Ask the baby sitter to take your children to a nearby park for a couple of hours so that you can be alone at home with your spouse for some intimate time. If you have older children and a baby, have the baby sitter take the older children out and schedule the sitter for baby’s nap time.
Tip 3. No thinking, ladies!
Ladies, turn off your brains!
Usually, when you finally get your husband alone you want to tell him everything you are thinking and feeling and about the baby etc. This is a good thing to do when you are tired but a bad idea when you finally have a chance for sex.
But you say if I don’t tell him everything I will just think about it and not be into sex. Point noted. Read on for a solution to this!
Tip 4. Men, LEARN MASSAGE!
To help your wife relax and empty her brain, give a massage!
Start on feet, hands, back, etc. Give your wifes 30+ minutes of massage before starting getting the intimate parts. This will give your wives a chance to start thinking about how nice it is to be touched by a man and not an infant.
Tip 5. Ladies, Concentrate!
Ladies, you have to help. While getting this much-deserved pampering, no talking about kids, friends, sisters kids, phone calls with mothers, etc. You need to concentrate on enjoying the intimate time.
Your husband deserves your help here. Eventually, your body will start to respond to the massage and very nice and intimate sex can happen while you are still breastfeeding.
Tip 6. A position tip :-)
Finally, ladies, – do not lay on your stomach and on your breasts – you will get milk clogs and sore breasts. We use two mattresses on the floor and leave a 6 inch crack between them. My wife lays so that her breasts hang and there is no pressure on them.
These are my tips on how to make sex happen again after a new baby. I hope they will help someone. If you have any additional tips, please do so by leaving a comment below!
Good luck!!!
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
Ladies!! I always feel patronised by men on these forums when they collectively refer to us as ‘ladies’. It sounds like we’re being repremanded.
Thanks for the comment! Interesting! I hadn’t thought about that! What wording would you prefer? And other moms – do you feel the same? That’s important feedback to these men! :-)
Great post. It’s not easy.
Having worked on a labor and delivery ward before I understand the birthing process and the hormonal changes women under go more so than the average person. What I wasn’t prepared for however was how sex deprived I would be as a dad to be and now as a new dad.
I love my wife and I try my best not to put any pressure on her to engage in sexual activity but that doesn’t mean it is easy. We went from at least twice a day and three times on Sunday to nothing.
So, all you expecting dads or dads to be I’ll leave you with this be as supportive of your wife as possible. Don’t pressure her into anything because she has a very long and physically demanding task to under go soon. You shouldn’t want to make her feel guilty for not feeling up to sex. She is perfectly normal for feeling this way.
For you lucky dads to be or new dads who are getting more action now than they did before be grateful and enjoy!