8-Month-Old Baby Throwing Tantrums If Not Held – What Do I Do?

by: Anonymous

Wow, annie thank you for the advise! I have an 8 month old little girl who is the same way. It is very frustrating when you are trying to get anything done, laundry, dishes, dinner. It is almost impossible. Anytime i talk to anyone all they can say is aw, sounds like shes just spoiled rotten. I get so sick of hearing that, it just makes me feel like there is something wrong with her, or something wrong with the way i have raised her so far, I mean, nobody wants a little Veronica Salt. I really appreciate your out take on it, the fact that someone can actually see it as a different personality, and that she isn’t gonna turn out to be totally rotten when she is older. It makes me feel a little better to hear that at least one random person in this world doesn’t think I have already screwed her up.

I have been trying to “research” this. Half the things I read say my son is “spoiled” and to try and get him on his own more frequently. The other half says you can never spoil a child under a year and to give him as much attention as possible. It is just so difficult! I hate hearing him cry with big ol’ crocodile tears streaming from his face. He legitimately seems like he’s afraid. Obviously I want my son to learn how to comfort himself and spend time on his own (trust me, I would love to have the comfort of some quite moments to myself) but also I do not want to traumatize him. I have come to think that he is just my little SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) and I love him all the more dearly. I don’t think there is anything wrong with giving babies varying amounts of attention. I think the sensitive ones need a little more to feel secure in this world and my little guy can be more loving than a lot of other babies I’ve seen, too. I’m sure they will be fine as they get older and just need security now. I don’t think anyone except a parent of these children understand what it’s like. I have tried putting him down and extending the amount of time I’m away from him, but it is very unsuccessful. Sometimes little ones just need lots of love, I think. They are, after all, so new to this world.

These are great comments… I have an 8 month old adopted son who was born premature and who fusses whenever I am not holding him and walking around. Sometimes I can play games with him, but even that doesn’t last long. I can’t stand to hear him cry, but I also have a houseful and other responsibilities. If it weren’t for nap times I would never get a thing done, but even as it is, I have little time for my other, older children because he is awake from when they get home until bedtime. Any insight as to how long I should expect to have to give him so much attention? I don’t mind, but I feel bad about “neglecting” the other people who need me, too!

With an 8 month old baby acting like this, there may very well be two things in play; frustration over not being able to get where he or she wants to on her own, and separation anxiety. Hence the strong wish to be close to mom all the time AND being carried around all the time.

Inless the baby is also really scared of strangers – something that is also common at this age heading outside for some fun activites (find tips on baby activities here) can be a great relief for both the baby and mom. Even the most frustrated 8-month-old may forget being angry if meeting other babies, riding a swing, splashing around in a swimming pool or something equally funny.

So don’t just stay in the house and try to endure this tough month; it makes it seem endless. Invest in a good stroller where your baby sits comfortably or a baby carrier or sling for older babies and head outside. Your baby is likely to nap and sleep better then too.

Good luck!

Paula