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Why Do Babies Hit Themselves?

by Tina
(KY.)

Why do babies hit themselves? My 6-month-old baby girl hits herself… Started hitting chest and now she hits her mouth and head. I need to know why they do this? Should I worry that something is wrong?

Baby Help Line:

Reasons Why Babies Hit Themselves

It does look pretty strange and sometimes even scary when babies start hitting themselves. But it is a very common behavior, just like biting or banging their heads against the floor. I have seen studies indicating that at least some 20% of all babies do this during some period.

There are many reasons for this behavior:

  • For older babies frustration and anger are probably common reasons.
  • Self-soothing and pain-relief are other known reasons for hitting. If your baby consistently hits one side of her head, for example, you may want to exclude an ear infection. Teething is common reason for biting, which is a related behaviour.
  • For young babies, even the fact that they CAN hit themselves can sometimes be the only reason for doing it. They are gaining control of their body and might actually find it interesting or entertaining to slap their tummy for example.

The behavior can last for a long time; my youngest started hitting himself and biting his hand when angry at around 8 months and continued until almost 3 years old. He is a textbook example of normal babies hitting themselves – most babies start doing this at some point between 6 and 12 months old. The behavior tends to peak at around 18 to 24 months – a period when many babies are going through rapid mental development and have big problems dealing with their own frustrations. (It isn’t called the “terrible twos” for nothing.)

While some babies only hit themselves during a couple of months, others go on for years. Most babies grow out of it at around 3 years old if not earlier.

Something to remember is to not reinforce the behavior. If your baby always gets a lot attention when hitting, he or she may do it even more. So don’t make a big fuss about it. Just make sure your baby doesn’t hurt herself.

Try to see what is behind the behavior and focus on that. Is your baby in pain, angry, in need of a cuddle or stimulation and attention? Distraction is the best way to stop unwanted behavior until your baby is well over 2 years old and has started to understand the spoken language really well.

Finally, you should be aware that head banging and other ways of hitting themselves can in rare cases be a sign of developmental issues. But in such case, there will be other signs as well, as for example falling behind several milestones or losing abilities he used to have. Extremely frequent head banging, like throughout the day and continued even if it clearly hurts can also be signs of concern.

If you are concerned, of course discuss the matter with your baby’s pediatrician.

More About Babies Hitting Themselves

Find comments below.

Comments

Mar 19, 2012

A grandma’s thoughts
by: Grandma


My grandson started hitting himself when he was a baby. It always occurred when he became angry. Knowing his father has a violent temper has been what led us to believe that was the reason why. It’s scary to watch and horrifying for your friends and family to watch. To top things off, he has always been a big, strong child and we always felt like he was hurting himself.

His father hasn’t been involved with Odin since he was abot 5 months old. Although the parents still talk to each other, oddly enough, that relationship ended with the father being taken to the hospital because of hurting himself more than any of the things he was taking his anger out on at the time. Due to that though, we’ve always been at a loss of how to get the baby to stop it.

My daughter started by holding him close during the episodes and continuing to explain after that we love him and he needs to love himself and not hurt the baby. It has gotten easier as he’s reached the age of wanting his caretaker to tell the floor or anything that hurts him not to anymore.

Odin is three now and still cannot explain what makes him attack himself sometimes but can at least scream through his tears “I’m mad!” when we ask why he’s hitting himself. Most the time, he controls it. Now it’s easy enough to see it’s not all the time, just when he’s highly frustrated.


Jul 16, 2012

I was worried for my toddler too…
by: Jamie 17


I was worried too so I had to look it up then came across this, it was very refreshing to know that it happens but it is so scary.

My daughter has moved on to hitting her face then basically gouging her face with her nails. She is nearly two years old and I love her dearly, but I really don’t know what to say when she does it.

I thought I may as well drop my little something in to show I took an interest and Tina, it is nothing to worry about in the end.

My mother says ‘she will learn’ Before or after scratching her face off mum. :-)


Sep 16, 2012

It hurts my heart to see my daughter hurt herself
by: Louise 22


My daughter is 20 months now, and she started a week ago hitting herself in the head when she’s upset or crying and she also covers her mouth when she cries.

I separated from her father, who is 25, about a month ago and we both now live with our parents. His household is a stressful environment to be in, lots of shouting, swearing, and temper tantrums from his younger brother. His whole family is very caring people who have big hearts and love to take care of each other, but with teenagers in the house there is a lot of tension in the air.

Now, my house is very quiet, it is just me, my mommy, daughter and our dogs. Even though I am still suffering from post-partum depression, it is still a much calmer environment to be in.

When my daughter returns from a day or night at her father’s house, she has panic attacks, hits herself in the head and covers her mouth when she cries. It upsets me very much to see my darling child hurt herself for no reason. My mother and I cannot figure out why she has started to do this. The only thing we can link it to would be how she feels when she is at her father’s house.

My mother thinks she is so wound up when she is there, that when she comes home she has to let it all out. When she is home she will not leave my arms, I still have to rock her to sleep in my arms and walk around her bedroom for about an hour, every single night. She still wakes up in the middle of the night crying and she has nightmares every second night.

I am so worried about my girl. I don’t know how to make her stop. When she starts hitting herself I just hold her hands away and say “it’s okay baby, it’s okay” in a very calming voice and press my face or my forehead against hers. She sometimes attempts to do it again, but I usually get her to stop. The only option I see is taking her to the doctors to have it documented that she is stressed for future reference if a custody battle comes into play, and see what else our doctor recommends.

Can anyone explain what is happening to my little girl?

Louise Joly

Comment by EasyBabyLife: You and your daughter are in a new and stressful situation – no wonder your daughter is acting out. If she used to live with both you and her dad and now all of a sudden is always separated from one of you, it is a big change for her! Also living in new environments is a big change. You say that her dad’s family is loving. That is great! If you can, ask him to protect her from the worst arguments over there. In the long run, she will learn that life is different with mom and dad and she will be cool about it. The fact that she is acting out when she is with you (and not with her dad?) might be because she is more attached to you. Most babies are. So being away from you is tough and it has only been a month. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that dad’s house is bad for her. Try to continue do what you do – be with her, hold her, love her and also have FUN with her. Laughter is great for healing! You’ll get through and she will too.

Warm wishes,

Paula


Dec 23, 2012

Head smacking/self hurt
by: Julie I


I am going nuts over this issue. I have one daughter. She never did any of this hitting/banging head stuff. She is not/was not an ideal child but did not physically harm herself.

My grand-daughter seems to detest me. She smacks herself senseless and the simple fact that she is hurting herself for no reason really bothers me. I don’t get it. She is 15 months old. I watched her for her early days and into the first year. Now I am garbage.


Sep 13, 2013

See your Doctor

by: Anonymous


Folks,
First, if you are scared, you need to take your child to a Doctor and discuss it. Your doctor can assess whether this is just the normal odd behaviour of a baby or something greater to be concerned over.

My one daughter was a head banger, hitting her head against the floor or her crib until it made her cry sometimes. A visit to the doctor helped me understand that it is odd, but normal. She grew to be a very happy and well adjusted child and woman. So, please, discuss the concerns with your doctor and relax. Some of this is normal and part of them understanding their bodies and feelings, some may be indications of other issues. Only your doctor can really let you know.


Oct 12, 2013

The hitting was a hearing loss in our case

by: Jane


I know it sounds silly but you could get his hearing checked.
Our daughter used to have bad balance, not terrible, but more so than other toddlers. She also became self abusive. She would hit her head and pull her hair. The clinic said to take her to the hospital; they thought she had a brain infection. Lucky us, she was only losing her hearing. It was a progressive loss due to a temperature that she got after one of her sets of infant shots.

She is now a completely deaf proud 13 year old. It did make her upbringing a bit more challenging, but not nearly as complicated as a brain infection would have been.

It doesn’t hurt to rule it out. Good luck!


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