Pacifier Dependence

by Kerry
(Alabama)

Please help me get a good night's sleep! My 4 month old is pacifier dependent and wakes up 2-3 times a night because she has lost it out of her mouth. She is not waking because she is hungry... She just needs her attachment! What to do?

Baby Help Line:

How To Break Pacifier Dependence For Baby

I must say that if your baby does not wake up to eat, only for her pacifier, the two of you have done a great job! Most 4 month old babies still feed at night.

Since your baby doesn't eat at night, she might very well learn to sleep better without her pacifier. At around the age of 4 months, the suckling reflex starts to diminsh too.

Depending on how dependent your baby is on her pacifier (and on suckling while falling asleep), weaning from the pacifier can be hard or easy. You can't expect that she will accept it immediately. It might take a few days or more for her to learn a new way to fall asleep.

To help her learn how to fall asleep without the dummy, you can try a tough or a gently way.

The easiest way to go, which might work, is to simply (but gently) pull her pacifier out right after her falling asleep. This way she'll learn to sleep without the pacifier, which for some babies is enough to help them sleep better. Do this every time she sleeps, day and night, for a week to see if it helps.

If that doesn't help, she might have to learn how to fall asleep without a pacifier, to make a difference.

In this case, one option is to simply take the pacifier away! Instead of giving her a pacifier, rock her in her crib or stroller or in your arms. You can also stroke her forehead and eyes gently.

If she's content with this relatively fast - great. (You don't want to have a baby who cries for hours, especially not at night!) If she is very sad and hard to settle, it might be that she is too dependent on suckling to really cope with this method.

Also, the risk is that your baby will learn to be rocked or patted to go asleep, and will continue to wake up, not for the pacifier, but for being rocked... Try to be as calm as possible with her, changing as little as possible from how she is already used to falling asleep.

Another option is to take your time to teach her gently to fall asleep without the pacifier. The below method I've learned in Elizabeth Pantley's excellent book - The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I've tried it and it worked for one of my children AND I've talked to other moms who are also content with the method. It works great both for pacifiers and nipples. You can read my review of the No-Cry Sleep Solution here.

Here is how to break pacifier dependence in a gentle way:
When you put her to bed (or in your arms or wherever she goes to sleep), I assume with her pacifier, bottler or breast, let her suckle for a while until she is almost asleep. But right before she falls asleep, release whatever is in her mouth. Then press lightly on her cheek to keep her mouth shut. This may sound very weird, but it actually helps the baby to not root for the nipple or pacifier.

She will probably wake up when you do this, and NOT accept it the first few times. Give her the pacifier (or nipple) back and repeat the above process. Do this over and over again until she falls asleep without the pacifier (or nipple).

Then continue to do this every time she needs the pacifier (or nipple) for falling asleep.

Eventually, she will learn to fall asleep without suckling, which is great step towards sleeping through the night.

The advantage with Pantley's method is that you really teach your baby fall asleep in a new way.

The disadvantage is that it might take time and that it can be very hard at night to really motivate yourself to continue doing this. Do you have someone who can you at night? To be able to share the burden for a week or two would probably be of great help for you.

I must admit that with one of my kids, I gave up and simply put a whole lot of pacifiers in the crib instead, as well as one extra in her hands. She was a bit older than your baby, but it worked for her.

I hope this will give you some ideas on how to help your baby!

(And remember, if this all seems like too much trouble to get rid of your baby's pacifier dependence or if it doesn't work, your girl is still very young. With such a good start, I bet she'll sleep through the night soon anyway!)

Good luck, and please let us know about your progress!

Paula

More Tips Related To Baby Pacifiers

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Pacifier Dependence

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Mar 26, 2008

Getting rid of pacifier
by: Karina

Paula,
I've tried every single thing, and it's been a month and every night it gets worse.... i did not want to let him cry....but i think i don't have any other option. My son is 3 months & 1/2 and he used to sleep wonderful, until i gave him the pacifier. He's been waking up at first twice at night, then 3, then it was every 5 min. He's not old enough to put it back on himself, so the situation drove us crazy.
I tried to not give the pacifier during the day, and let him sleep without it...and he stills wakes up. I would let him sleep with it and then taking it out of his mouth..that didnt work either.Its the hardest decision ever, but i've been letting him cry for 2 nights already, offcouse letting him know im there, and rubbing his back...its horrible, but i hope it works.
My question is: do u think if i finally get him to not wake up looking for it...i could eventually give it back to him during the day sometimes?

Jul 01, 2008

Sorry!
by: Baby Help Line

Hi Karina!

I just saw your question right now, so sorry I missed it!

How are things going for you? Did it work to take the pacifier away?

/Paula

Sep 18, 2008

Letting cry :___(
by: nanou

Hi! My baby is same as Karina's. He turned 4 months. He'd also wake up about 3 times during a 2 hour day nap crying for his paci. 3 days ago, I decided to take it away,

The first night, he cried for 45 minutes. The first 10 min he was claiming it with some shouting. Then the screaming began. I went to calm him, patting him on the back, rocking him a bit. But this made him shout louder. 30 min in, the screaming started to turn into crying. I have a TV monitor on in my bedroom. Then I went and caressed his back some more. He started so calm down, so I went to bed. He slept for another 4 hours, poor baby.

The naps of the day after were fine.
Day 2: everything starts all over again. It lasted 20 min. Then he fell asleep for 10min, woke up, and cried again for another 20!!!

The day naps of day 2 were very hard. When he gets sleepy, and wouldn't stay in the swing (which is a place where he used to calmly start to sleep in with his pacifier) I picked him up, rock him, sing, hum... then he would start crying. I put him in bed, more crying. At about 4:30pm, he hadn't gotten his usual nap time, so he napped for 3 hours straight, which also delayed his bedtime.

Day 3: Last night, he woke up again. He called for me, and he turned from his tummy to his back. It looked like he wanted to play. So I rocked his bed a little, and started to hum a song. He started screaming ad crying. It escalated! I left him and went to watch the monitor in my bed. The crying lasted 18 min. Then he slept, and woke up smiling ready for breakfast.

Today, before his morning nap, we played until nap time came, and he starts whining. I held him, rocked him, sang to him, tried stroking my fingers in front of his eyes like I do to incite him to close his eyes. He became calm and as soon as he would want to fall asleep, again, started to scream and cry. So I put him in bed, tried to rock/sing... but he would cry more. So I left him. He cried for 10 minutes and then fell asleep on his own.
He woke up happy again... next nap (he's in it right now) I held him, sang... put him in bed before he fell asleep completely. He whined a little, turning his head looking for distractions. But wherever he looked, there was my arm blocking the view. He fell asleep within seconds!!!

The 3rd day is almost over. I hope tonight he won't insist anymore on the sucking. I've been so tempted to give him back the pacifier, but decided to hang on anticipating the progress.

I will let you know tomorrow! Fingers crossed :):)

PS: I noticed one thing since I took away the pacifier: the night feedings have become so long and slow. Can he be aware enough to take advantage of the bottle nipple to suck on it without swallowing all the time? Usually he finishes the bottle within 10-15 minutes. He has taken 1 to 2 hours the past couple of nights.

Sorry to be so long, I hope all these details help, and if you ladies have any comments, please send them. It's great to know I'm not alone here.

Sep 19, 2008

Letting cry - continued
by: nanou

Sorry for posting twice yesterday.

As I promised, here's the update:

Baby woke up tonight, but didn't cry at first, then started making this sound aaaaaa aaaaaa... then within 5 minutes, he went back to sleep. Total night sleep time: 10.5 hrs.

He just repeated this sound before his morning nap.

There is hope at the end of the tunnel, it seems.

Pacifier free for 4 days now :)

Sep 19, 2008

Way to go!
by: Baby Help Line

Nevermind the double posting!

Wonderful to hear that it works with taking away the pacifier. Crossing my fingers that it IS the end of the tunnel!

/Paula

Dec 07, 2008

HELP GETTIG SON OFF PACIFER
by: Anonymous

my son just made a year nov 14 and he's attached to his pacifer. I brought so many I'm to the point that I'm not purchasing any more, but he lost his last one. Now I need help to keep him off. Any advice??????? HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jan 06, 2009

sleeping with open mouth
by: Anonymous

hi! just want to ask if is it ok that my child is sleeping with mouth open after taking off the pacifier? i tried to close his mouth but still he opens in as if he's still has the pacifier in his mouth.

Jan 22, 2009

paci attachement for twins
by: gigi

i have twin 3mth olds boys.. that are COMPLETELY attached to their paci... is cold turkey bad??? i just started today and the bouncey seat seems to help to get them to sleep but how do they stay asleep?? what can a 3 mth old use to sooth themsleves??? i feel soooooo bad to hear them cry, how long should i let them cry it out before comforting them... its sooo hard.... do i ever give it to them again??? will it confuse them if i do???

Mar 08, 2009

Can I take my 3 month old's pacifier away?
by: Jane

Hi, I have looked over some of the posts here and recognize all of it. I have a 3 month old who WILL NOT go to sleep without her pacifier. I have tried to keep it away from her during the day, but she has been crying for two days straight. My husband just took her out for a ride and she crashed to sleep finally, but I am just wondering if it is ok to keep up this "cold turkey" pacifier plan. Is she too young? Should I just give it to her and get up every half hour at night to put it back in her mouth? Last night I got 3 hours of sleep. She would wail for about an hour, then rest from crying (but not actually go to sleep) then scream some more. I can feel the bottom dropping out for me, and I don't know if I can keep going. If I could just know that it is ok for me to let her cry for so long then I can do it, but it breaks my heart. When she gets tired I put her in her crib and try to sing/comfort her for a while, but she starts to cry immediately. I have tried to do the control crying method where I leave for a few minutes then come back and comfort her, but nothing seems to work. I am so scared that this misery will never end. Any advice or even something to make me feel like I am doing the right thing here will help. This is my first baby, and I love her so much, but it is so so hard. Thanks.

Mar 08, 2009

Hang in there!
by: Baby Help Line

Hi Jane,

I feel so much for you and your little baby! I don't think there is a right or wrong here; if your girl wakes up every half hour for her pacifier I totally understand that you feel that you have to do something about.

The good thing with her being so young is that she will forget it faster. The bad thing is that her suckling need might still be quite strong, making the transition harder.

Does it help at all to rock her in the stroller or let her co-sleep? You don't want her to start using you as her pacifier of course (if you breastfeed), but a little bit of help, by sleeping close to mom might help.

I don't think your daughter will be hurt by crying, but it is unbearable, I know. Try to soothe her in other ways, patting her, lying next to her or again, take her out for a stroller walk.

She should learn within a couple of days to sleep without the sucking.

If it doesn't work at all, please don't feel bad about "giving up". You can try again anytime. Having a 3 months old, you are probably close to your own peak of being exhausted now. Many moms notice that things start to improve slowly from around 3 months. It is hard to see when you are in the middle of it all, but at around 3 months, babies start to grow more slowly, eat less frequently, the suckling reflex will become less strong, and routines will appear slowly.

So hang in there! Only getting 3 hours of sleep is pure torture, but something almost all new moms experience from time to time - pacifier or not. Things will get better!!!

Have your read our sleep tips for new moms?

I would recommend that you pick and choose between them too. It is so important to get those hours of rest as often as possible during the first year. Most babies and even toddlers have periods when they wake up at night, so don't forget to take care about yourself regardless of how well your baby sleeps.

Hope this helps a bit!

Paula

Mar 08, 2009

Re
by: Jane

Thanks so much for your advice. We will try and hold out for a while longer. Your comments were very helpful to me, and I feel better knowing that others have done this and survived.

Mar 11, 2009

6 months and no sleep!
by: Anonymous

hi my 6 month old son is a complete ass he dont sleep a wink he wakes for dummy and feed he had 2 feeds last night wich takes the piss my other half works evenings so cant leave him to scream as he needs sleep and so dose my 2 and a half year old i have tried everything it is getting me down i have even considered spiltting with the dad so he can keep him i go to college and have a busy life i need my sleep its the one thing i enjoy

Mar 16, 2009

Thumb
by: Anonymous

My baby learned how to suck his thumb....not sure if that's worse, but now I don't have to keep finding the binly to put back in for him.

Mar 16, 2009

to Anonymous
by: JJ

6 months and no sleep!
by: Anonymous

I really hope you are not that stupid. If you are...I hope someone takes your kids away from you. Ignorant...lazy. If sleep is more important to you, you shouldn't have had a baby. You don't deserve one.

Jun 02, 2009

Pacifier
by: June Marie

HI
My son is 2 1/2 years old and he will never leave his pacifier at nights, he goes to a day care without it and other places but as soon as
he is ready to go to sleep he cries for his pacifier.

I need some strong advise how to make him stop.

He will be 3 years old in July.

Jun 03, 2009

A possible way
by: Baby Help Line - Paula

Hi June Marie,

First of all, let me say that you don't "have to" force the pacifier from your son just yet. Most dentists agree that there really will be no harm to the teeth from using a pacifier until the child older than is fours years old.

Also, many children actually make up their own minds to quit when they are ready. And if your son only uses it at night, that is a lot less than many other kids in his age, so he is actually doing quite well!

But if you still want him to quit, here's what I did just a couple of months ago.

I wanted our 4 year old to quit, and she really didn't want to, but I decided that we couldn't wait any longer. I didn't have any plans to make our 2 year old quit at the same time.

Anyway, started preparing on Sunday, saying that on Thursday it is time to let go of the pacifier and send it to Santa Claus. Then I prepared every morning saying that "now it is two days left". On Thursday morning our daughter was very well prepared, and put her pacifiers in a plastic bag. Her little brother insisted on quitting too, so I thought, well why not!?

They got 1 plastic bag each to gather all their pacifiers in, then a piece of paper to draw their a picture of what gift they wanted from Santa Claus when he got their pacifiers.

We put the bag in envelopes and sent them off in the post (well, our kids thought so). To my huge surprise they fell asleep without any complaints the first night. And in the morning there was a big gift to them each with a letter about how great they were doing from Santa outside the door. They both got sad once (only once!), longing for their pacifiers and kept asking for them from time to time for two or three weeks. But of course we "couldn't" give them to them, since all pacifiers had been sent to Santa Claus.

That was it. Very little pain!

Maybe a trick to try with your boy.

Cheers,

Paula

Jun 06, 2009

Ninny (pacifier) Exhausted
by: Anonymous

My son just turned 3 months old and we're realzing he is completely dependent on his pacifier to fall asleep and stay asleep. He wakes up almost every hour (sometimes half hour) and cannot settle himself back to sleep without us going in to put the pacifier back in his mouth.

I'm really not sure how or when to break the pacifier dependence. I think he is far too young for any cry it out/controlled crying but we all could really use some sleep.

Jun 08, 2009

Cut the Tip OFF.
by: Anonymous

I cut the tip off all my childrens pacifiers. This way he would suck it for a few seconds, give it a few tries and then give up for good. After about a week he just gave up all together. He never really got that fussy. I guess because all the paci's were still there and I would give him one whenever he wanted. It was like he made the decision on his own simply because the paci didnt work the same and didnt produce the same suction and soothing as before.

Jun 12, 2009

Ninny (pacifier) Exhausted UPDATE
by: Anonymous

Well we went cold turkey, no pacifier and it actually worked out a lot better than I had anticipated.

We started two days ago with naps and at first he would cry for about 5 minutes, fuss for about another 5 and then just lay there muttering and a bit restless for another 5-10 minutes before eventually falling asleep. He was the same with bedtime on day one and got up twice during the night but was able to resettle himself after 5-10 minutes.

Day two naps were the same as day one and bedtime on day two, not only did he not cry when he went to sleep but he slept from 8:30pm to 5:30am, was a bit restless but went back to sleep until 7am!

Again, I anticipated it would be a lot worse because I had never actually given him the opportunity to try and settle (or self soothe) on his own.

Good luck to anyone out there trying to break a pacifier dependence. Allowing him to cry for a little bit and self soothe was the best thing we ever did. We're all getting a bit of sleep, mainly my son and he's a lot less cranky because of it!

Dec 03, 2009

BABY WAKES EVERY HOUR
by: Anonymous

My 8 month old little girl wakes every hour at night, goes to sleep at 7 then wakes up every hour from about 11 in the evening, (tried keeping her awake untill a little later but then she becomes really irritable), does not want to feed, moans a little - I then give her her pacifier, she then goes back to sleep and wakes up after an hour again....Took her to the doctor, everything fine.

Maybe 1 in 7 nights she'll only wake 3 times - thats a good night! She's so sweet during the day, plays, giggles and talks, very content, eats well only naps for about 20 minutes to 1/2 an hour twice a day but at night she's very restless.

I've tried homeopathic medicine such as Rescue remedy drops (recommended by Pharmacist) and Mag Phos tissue salts, teething mixtures but nothing seems to help settle her. I realize she's teething (still waiting for 1st one to appear) but she has no fever, I use Prodol on her gums and she is happy and chirpy during the day.

I'm working and her father does not help me at night, so I'm getting up every hour, he is a really noisy sleeper so I can't even put her into bed next to me - which might help me not to feel so exhausted.

ANY advice would be greatly appreciated.

Jan 08, 2010

to 6months and no sleep
by: Anonymous

I can't believe someone would write such horrible things about a baby - "ass",what kind of mother are you? I feel so sorry for your children. you're the ass for treating them so badly.

Feb 02, 2010

you need to be reported
by: jean

No 6 month old child is a complete ass, you should be reported to dcs, lots of people would love to stay up at night with that sweet baby!!!!

Mar 10, 2010

6 months
by: Anonymous

I think The Mother That saus ass to her baby is exhausted and probably has à postartum depression, get Some help so you van enjoy your baby again!!!

Apr 17, 2010

don't worry
by: Anonymous

I have a 12 month old and in my opinion at this time is when one should start to wean your child out of sucking a pacifier. Now that they have teeth that can be permanently damaged due to the sucking of it. If your baby is younger they need something to suck on, it is natural, its soothing for them. So don't worry so much.

Jun 19, 2010

3 month old pacifier falls out
by: Anonymous

I have a 10 week old girl and the darn soother just won't stay in sometimes. The night time is fine but I can see she has this pacifier dependence already for her naps. I have been swaddling her still and trying to take away the soother but she gets even madder when I take it away and she's swaddled but when I unswaddle her she either sucks on her hand (which I'm sure will be her thumb soon) or she knocks herself in the face from not being able to control her arms and then still wakes herself up.

Anyone out there having this issue? Anyone out there still swaddling their little ones & have any advice on this?

Thanks

Aug 03, 2010

A solution to the pacifier falling out!
by: Matilda

My baby is 6 months and has just learned to use the pacifier himself with a baby comforter called Sleepytot. You can take a look at it here:

http://www.sleepytot.com/blog/?p=291

It really does work as it helps LO to find the paci himself and he's got so good at it. Lol!

Aug 16, 2010

what to do??
by: Mom of 1

My baby is 4 months old and has slept through the night a hand full of times. I know that she is capable of making it without a feeding. I swaddle and she LOVES her paci. In the middle of the night she'll wake me up, completely out of the swaddle with no paci. I re-swaddle her, give her the paci and she falls right back to sleep. Two nights ago she woke up at 3, 4, 5, and i fed her at 6. Last night she slept 9 1/2 hours. During the day her schedule is exactly the same. I don't know what to do. I am guessing I should let her cry it out in the middle of the night, but then she's out of her swaddle, cold, without her paci and I feel that's a lot for her to overcome.

Aug 17, 2010

To Mom of 1
by: Anonymous

My daughter is also 4 months old and we are going through the same thing. For the swaddling part I have started to use either the Miracle Blanket (my daughter is still really small so she fits in it still) and I also have bought a size Large in the Summer Infant "Swaddle Me" blankets. You can get those at Babies R Us in the US only for some reason they don't sell the size Large in Canada.

Not sure how little your child is but I have read that even though babies can "sleep thru the night" at 3 - 4 months that is only considered from 12am - 5am and before they can start sleeping 10 - 12 hours they should be at least 14 lbs but even then some babies still take a few more months to stop. What I do, is if she has slept 6 hours, then I feed her and she usually doesn't wake until after another 4 - 6 hours. My nephew didn't stop feeding at 3 am until he was 7 months old.

The swaddling is the more difficult part because eventually I think that they will be able to roll around & "find a soother" on their own but if they are swaddled its kinda hard to do. The difficulty I'm having with swaddling is that my daughter just can not figure out what to do with her hands! But I think with time she'll just get over that and get more coordinated. There's nothing wrong with swaddling but I wouldn't do the cry it out at night unless you are prepared to stop swaddling either - might as well get them used to no "crutches" all at once. I've heard people trying sleep sac (you can sew the arm holes shut & kinda "graduate them" out of swaddling).

Hope some of this helped. I am curious about your situation with swaddling - wondering if my daughter is the only one that can't figure out what her hands do! She just plays with them & then it keeps her up, she gets more tired, etc....

Sep 19, 2010

Pacifier dependence
by: Anonymous

My girlfriend and I were having a hard time trying to get her 2 year old to give up his pacifier. We tried everything but he had become so attached to it that we thought we would never get him to give it up. We decided to try soaking his pacifier in beet juice, which he hates the taste of. We soaked it overnight and put a small hole in in and put a small amour of juice in the pacifier. Amazingly the next night we gave it to him, he put it in his mouth for 5 seconds then he took it out himself. He cried for about twenty seconds, then tried to throw away his pacifier himself! Since that night he hasn't asked for his pacifier and is now going to sleep every night without it. We are both so proud of him! All you desperate parents out there I highly rexomen trying this method if you have exausted all other avenues. Good luck and my we all get some sleep.

Oct 14, 2010

Pacifier Dependence
by: Sam

Using the pacifier for my baby the first time I was quite sceptical. When I started reading up on it I was happy. My baby now 7months old she does not require her dummy so much when we at home and she starts screaming I will try and get her to become quiet before I would give her the dummy. I normally just use it for church and when we go to the shops. Otherwise I let her "sing" as she wants to.

Oct 22, 2010

Soother
by: Mara

We have a 6 month old and are struggling over whether to take soother away or not, he is sleeping through the night 7:30 to 6 and has been for a while, which is great. But I am getting up every hour or so to give him his soother. His daytime naps vary from 20 minutes to 2 hours and every day is different. I have been trying to get him on some type of schedule with no sucess. He is also teething, has two already and a third on its way.

We are not sure if we can take away his soother for sleeping and allow him to have it during the day or if it has to be all or nothing.

Nov 11, 2010

Going well
by: Anonymous

My baby just turned one, and seemed a good time to take the paci away.

Started to hide it during the daytime (except for his nap) he was very upset the first day, but he seemed to be a lot better the next day. After a week, I took ithe paci away at night time.

He drinks his milk before sleeping, always has, so when he is done, instead of giving him the paci, I let him lay on my chest while I am sitting and I breath deeply, rub his tummy softly, kiss him and leave my face close to his, after 5 minutes or so put him to bed and he is out! Since the moment he drinks his milk the lights are out, otherwise he gets distracted. This worked from the first night.

He's been waking up too early, like 4:30, because he misses the paci, I'll try to give it back until he is sleepy, hope it will work.

When he sleeps through the night without a paci, I will tacle his naps. It's been a slow process but I feel it's going well and he hasn't been annoyed.

Nov 12, 2010

pacifier dependence
by: Anonymous

hi i have a 2yr old little girl when she crys we give her dummy in her mouth she continues crying if we take it out she still crys and if we give it to her she will keep it in her teeth and cry we dont know what to do and at night we give it and she will go to sleep in the night she will get up crying for it and when we give to her she will go to sleep but i know she will go to sleep without it once or twice she went to sleep without it in the car and when she is playing then she doesnt want want it at all

Nov 24, 2010

6 month old wakes every 20 mins
by: Anonymous

my 6 month old wakes every 20 minutes from 2.30am onwards for his dummy. Thanks for the advice from all - I'm going to try and cut it first and see if he gives it up himself, but if not I'll have to take away during the day and hope night time follows. I'll let you know how it goes!

Dec 30, 2010

4 month old loves paci
by: Jessica

Just wanted to say I am right there with the others that have to HBP out of bed ten or more times a night to retrieve paci. My spoon just stated sleeping in his crib a month ago and I was having to give him his paci several times a night I just ended up sleeping in the recliner next to his crib just so I could be closer. I then purchased the Merlin Magic sleep suit and tried that and it cut down on the paci retrievial to maybe once or twice a night. Bring concerned about his self soothing I decided to try night sleeping without the sleep suit. Now the paci falls out a lot more because he can move around a lot more.

I'm ready to try something or maybe some kind of intervention. I read someone spoke of the Sleepytot. I may give thats try along with taking the paci out once he is asleep and pressing on Hoss check. Maybe I'll try the take paci out method during day time naps.

I'll update later on this. Any other tips or advice I'll gladly listen to. Good luck everyone!

Dec 30, 2010

4 month old loves paci
by: Jessica

Quick update. Son woke at 6:30a this time for hunger. I Gabe him a bottle, he drank four ounces (he stopped drinking on his own), gave him lite sugars and hug, laid him down WITHOUT the paci. He didn't cry! He squirmed for awhile and finally fell asleep. Not sure how the naps will go today. I'll post more later.
P.S. I can heat him talking now, but NOT crying! I'm so happy.

Feb 24, 2011

wont sleep in the cot and has to have her bottle
by: Anonymous

Hi

My daughter is one, and she falls asleep in our bed with her bottle we move her into her cot when shes asleep.
But when she wakes in the middle of the nite we take her into the bed and give her a bottle. Im all geared up to put her into her own room 2mr and take the bottle off her is that a bit harsh givin her no bottle either. Please help im desperate.
Im goin to move a single mattress into the room and stay with her.

Apr 19, 2011

This seems to work
by: JHurls

Hi all,
Was up all night checking out this site. My 14 week old is pretty pacifier dependent for sleep and yet wakes up multiple times in the night if it falls out...well 2 or 3 but add that to feeding 2 times and it is quite a bit. So I reread The Baby Whisperer book and I am implementing the shush-pat ..basically, make sure to have a schedule for baby- do all the night time or nap time cues like darker room and music or noisemaker. Make sure to let the baby wind down for naps as well as nighttime by these cues and doing very calm activity 15 min before nap...then I swaddle and put her in crib. She has been crying when I do that and I just keep going shhhh...shhhh in her ear while patting her a little or laying a hand on her tummy. She cries for about 15 minutes then falls to sleep so it is starting to work...If they are over 3 months old the Baby Whisperer also recommends if shush pat doesn't work to pick them up and calm them but put them back down right when they stop crying, maybe continuing to shush pat. It takes a while..you have to commit to this and respond everytime they are crying if you concerned about the abandonment and just can't do the let them cry it out method. Maybe start this with the naps while you are more alert during the day and continue on from there. It is only day 2 but it is indeed starting to work and I feel so much better that she will feel cared for but learn to self soothe. In the beginning you may have to pick up/put down many times but 3 days-1 week usually works. Also make sure they get some good naps during the day between 1-2 hours in length. The pacifier is a "prop" according to the Baby Whisperer and I didn't agree but now I do because we are not getting enough sleep and this is a kind way to teach her to help her sleep. Good luck- recommend this book!

Mar 01, 2012

6 month old going cold turkey
by: Lara

Like many of you, me and my husband were waking up as much as 8 times a night when the dummy fell out! This was in addition to 2 night feeds (yes still 3/4 hourly at 6 months) . However, as you can imagine we were completely knackered! I decided it was time to get rid! I began this Procedure with military precision ! I decided to start the withdrawal in the morning,. D'Arcy nap time is around eleven so I took some deep breaths and entered the room which was to become doom for a few days! D'Arcy went Into her cot, very happy at first, she was looking at her mobile and the lights, however her lovely eyes rested on me, yep me ! It was as if she was saying "mother where is my dummy " , I smiled and patted her chest, she has a pink fluffy blanket that she rubs when she sucks on her dummy, and was holding onto this, so it was as if I was teasing her, ! I spoke to her about what was going to happen next (don't ask not sure why I thought that would help ) and left the room, and waited anxiously in her brothers bedroom next door, she fussed, and then cried, I went in and rubbed chest and spoke softly, then left, I'm sorry to say but she did cry her self to sleep, I felt awful, this did take about half hour, I repeated the same routine in the evening, she really was very frustrated however for the first time, after 45 mins of crying, she slept soundly and only woke up for one feed during the night, which was great, however due to being used to waking up every 3/4 hours, I woke up automatically before she did, imagine that lol. Anyway she has been easier today, however, she cries before hand, but I will update you tommorow, I'm hoping I will have improved even more. And also to that wicked wicked mother (anonymous) how can you call your baby an ass and that he takes the piss?? It's a baby they have no concept of how you feel they are dependant on you, you really should seek help, a fully functional mother would not have feelings like that, get it sorted before you hurt him.

Mar 12, 2012

Quitting cold turkey
by: Polina

Lara, I am right there with you, doing the pacifier dance all night long. Up until he was 3 months of my son was sleeping gradually better and better working up to 8-9 hours of sleep in the first stretch of the night. Then all of a sudden he started waking up every hour to half hour after the first stretch of 3-4 hours looking for his binky. After a couple of weeks of hoping that it will get better on its own I said enough. I work full time so and the sleep deprivation was seriously impacting my ability to perform at work so I wanted a method that would be quickest. That's why I decided to go cold turkey using a modified CIO ala Weissbluth.

We are now on day 4. The first night he cried for 30 minutes then fell asleep, then woke up at 1:30am as usual looking for the binky. Then woke up again at 3am cried for almost an hour, fell asleep for half an hour then cried for another hour until I gave up and went in there and gave him the pacifier in a moment of weakness. He predictably fell asleep immediately and spit it out soon thereafter and slept until 6:30. Next day he cried 15-20 minutes before every nap and before bedtime but then slept all the way through the night till 6am and only cried in his sleep for 2 minutes. Third day was better for naps but worse during the night. He cried for 20 minutes around 1:30am and woke up crying at 5:30am. Unfortunately it was daylight savings this weekend so that didn't help with the whole thing but I think it's getting better (I really hope so). I'll come back and update in a few days.

Lara, I'd love to hear how this is going for you.

Mar 12, 2012

oh dear!!! injections, back with the dummy!
by: lara

hi Polina, your comments made me smile, i completely understand how you feel. im sad to say however that although after a week she forgot all about the dummy, and was sleeping better etc, she then had her 3rd stage injections whereby she had three of them , and she was very grizzly and needed comforting and her blanket was just not helping!b I toyed with the idea of ear plugs, lol but decided not to take that route, i felt very bad for her and gave her her dummy to help her, i know, i know , i can hear you say :why did you do that" but she was just so sad, and i felt that she is only 6 months,you should have seen her little eyes light up, she did not let it go after that lol, so once shes over the injections(she was poorly, had a temperature etc) i will try again in a couple of weeks, so im back to square one, however, shes a lot better with it now, im not sure if its because she has worked out that she risks losing it again bless her, but she does fall asleep without it, and she does not have it during the day, only if we are on a car journey, or nap time, so the use of it is limited. and im happy to say that she does nto wake up 10 times a night for it, she only wakes up for a feed now, so it should be easier to wean her off next time, im not worried about it at all.

May 14, 2012

Pacifier Advice?
by: Anonymous

My baby who is nearly 3 months, falls asleep on the breast. She wakes up at night only for me to put nipple in her mouth and then she's flat out again! She does this a few times during the night then wakes up around 4am for a proper feed. We have a bedtime routine so her last feed is 7pm and she is asleep by half past.
I was looking for ways to stop her suckling on my breast for comfort and was considering giving her a pacifier. Don't know if thats a wise thing to do after reading these comments. Any help please? Thanks x

I should say that my other daughter who is nearly four had a paci from when she was 2weeks old and we are still trying to wean her off it.mI have told her that the day before her bday the dummy fairy needs her give her all of them for the little babies. Which I think she will manage. Her bday is next thursday.

May 24, 2012

My munchkin and his binki
by: April

My little one has started pulling his binki out of his mouth at night then crys until I stick it back in ...then he falls asleep till I see him squirm and pull it back out then feel around with his open mouth to put it back in..... It's gotten a bit much to be up playing this game of binki in binki out lol. I couldn't take it last night after the fifth wake up within the hour I took it away. He screamed bloody murder till after his bottle then he went back to sleep he does sleep 1/2 the night without it so I'm not sure if he's just more awake later in the night? Some nights are better than others.... Oh and if the mother who put her baby's an ass is reading this please get some help or leave the baby with his dad it breaks my heart to think your little one is in the care of someone who needs help like you do. Being a mom is a lot of work and can get frustrating but your entire life should revolve around that baby and his happiness if it doesn't you need to find out why and fix it.

Aug 06, 2012

No longer 4 months
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 8 years and she still sucks a binky to fall asleep. I have tried everything to get rid of it and have had no success. I am passed the 4 month mark. WHAT CAN I DO???

Aug 06, 2012

Helping an older child to stop using the pacifier
by: Paula (Easy Baby Life)

For a child as old as 8 years, I would explain to her that her teeth will be destroyed by the binky and that it really has to go. Then you let her take part in deciding on how to do it and what reward she will get after sleeping one night without them, or even right after throwing them away if it is very difficult for her. Decide with her on a day, preferably a Friday after school or just before a long weekend. Gather all pacifiers together with her and get rid of them permanently. No cheating.

Then hug her, have some fun to celebrate and be extra nice and cuddly in the evenings in the beginning - it might be difficult for her to fall asleep, which is why a Friday night is great.

In some places, you can find zoos or binky trees where kids drop off there pacifiers. Something like that, or even sending them off to Santa can all be ways to make it easier for her, if she doesn't think it is childish.

Don't hesitate and don't let her push it into the future. She will learn to sleep without the binky and she is actually old enough to soon start feeling ashamed too - another good reason to help her break the habit.

Do it with love and warmth, but without hesitation.

Good luck!

Paula

Aug 15, 2012

Help, getting no sleep!
by: Gemma

My lo is nearly 7 months old, she has been a great sleeper for months but in the last 4 weeks she is crying in the night everytime she loses her dummy!! If I get up straight away and put it back in she doesn't even open her eyes but if I don't she starts to cry and actually wakes herself up! Leaving her
cry is not am option as I have a four year old and my partner works 14 hour days so both need their sleep! I'm at my wits end and am returning to work in 3 weeks time and know I will not cope with the lack of sleep! Any suggestions please?!?

Dec 05, 2012

3.5 Pacifier Dependent
by: Milyssa13

My little one, now almost 4 mos, has backslip it seems in his sleeping. He sleeps 12 hours without wanting to be fed, success! We read Sleep Solutions, 12 hours of sleep in 12 weeks.

They taught us to console his feeding through the night with a pacifier. However now he's dependent on it, so every time he wakes up and realizes it's gone, he cries...

I think I'm getting less sleep now then when I woke to feed him. Any suggestions????

I've tried many things already. I tried gradually taking it away, taking it out of his mouth after he falls asleep with it, swaddling him, wubbanub. Funny thing is he only wants it to sleep, wants nothing to do with it during the day. Also I've caught him spitting it out during his naps, and sleep, so confusing.

Last week I tried 3 days of just letting him cry, of course going back in there to check on him. He cried for an hour straight, and it killed me. Then he starting not napping, now usually his naps are great, he has one 1 hour nap in the morning, and another 2 hour nap in the afternoon. So then he got sleep deprived, making him even more irritable, thus waking him up even more at night, since he wasn't napping. I gave in, back the pacifier went, now I'm back at square one.

Last night I tried introducing his night feedings again, I gave him one feeding of 4 oz, thinking this may console him again through the night. He still woke up looking for his paci about 30 minutes after I laid him down. He's crying now because of course his paci fell out during his nap. I have to find an answer to this, I feel as though I'm at a dead end. Other than this, he's the happiest most content baby :(

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