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New Mother New Life!Are you a new mother? Congratulations and welcome to your new life of worries, guilt and exhaustion! And of extraordinary love and happiness...
A friend of mine complained to her midwife about feeling so worried that something would go wrong during her pregnancy. Her midwife looked at her, smiled and said: Well, this is just the beginning of a life-long worry for your child. Get used to it! Another friend told me, that having a baby was not that great. "It's all about pain", she said. Being pregnant hurts, giving birth is extremely painful, breastfeeding hurts... Everything seems to hurt! This woman is now the happy not so new mother of two wonderful boys. What do I want to say with all this? That becoming a mom is a huge changeover, particularly the first time. But also getting your second and third child is a big change. Less and less you time! And your body changes too. But... (there's always a but or this website would not exist...) ...but there are a lot of things that can be done to make mom feel better! Check out our tips below!
New Mother Feel Good Tips1) Sleep2) Eat 3) Ask for help 4) Get a hair cut 5) Get a pedicure 6) Do things also when the baby is awake 7) Exercise 8) Look good 9) Sex (say that again...) 10) Lower your ambitions 11) Plan ahead
Sleep and life is ok. Don't sleep and life feels like a disaster. A few little darling babies sleep long hours right from the beginning. Most don't. And most new mothers (and fathers) go through periods of feeling completely exhausted. One way or the other you need to get those sleep hours. Not every day, but at least say twice a week. Make that your number one priority if you feel very tired.
Actually, a long period of disturbed sleep can even make you sick.
With a screaming baby and exhaustion beyond belief, it is very easy to forget to eat properly (or at all). Since pregnancy as well as breastfeeding deplete your body of important substances, it is very important to eat well to get your energy back. I'm certainly not saying that you have to cook for long hours every day, but eat vegetables, fruits, whole grain bread and so on and not only coffee and cookies. (Ha, who would eat lots of cookies when trying to loose the baby fat... eehh - I know some moms that would, but don't tell anyone...;-) Also, a safe nutritient supplement can be a good source of extra vitamins and minerals. It can be really hard to let go of the impulse to do everything yourself when you are a new mother. Especially with your first baby. But let dad, grandma, your friends or who ever help you! Or find a professional baby sitter. For example Sittercity has excellent services if you live in the US. For more tips on how to find and work with a baby sitter, click here. Let the person who helps you carry your child, change diapers, take the baby out in the stroller for 15 minutes (or a few hours if you can handle it), burp him and so on. Your baby will survive and you will have your body for yourself for a moment. What a relief!
With my first baby, it took me 8 months to get around to schedule a haircut. My hair became unmanageable and I wore a ponytail all the time. Boring! A haircut is a quick way to make you feel a bit better. It is also done quickly enough that you should be able to feed your baby before the haircut and then have an hour for yourself, with someone caring for you instead of the opposite. Are you not sure what hairstyle you want? Get ready for some fun at TheHairstyler.com. Just upload your photo, and get creative! (Tips; if you're tired of your husband's hairstyle, you can upload his photo too... ;-D )
Want to give your self another treat? Then I suggest you book a pedicure. If your baby doesn't move around yet, you can even bring him (check that it is allowed). Either he sleeps or you can hold him in your arms cuddling, feeding or whatever.
Better still, of course, let someone else take care of him during your treatment. But if that's not possible, a pedicure is still a possibility as compared to a body massage or a facial treatment.
6) Do things also when the baby is awake I hear over and over again new mothers complaining that they have absolutely no time to do anything but caring for their baby during the first months. If your baby has colic or hasn't yet learned to sleep without your help, this might be true. Otherwise, if this is how you feel, think through your own behavior. What do you do when your baby is awake? It wasn't until I was home with our third child that I started taking showers when my baby was awake. Why? I simply didn't think it would work. Now, if I need a shower I put my baby in his bouncer close to the shower, where he can see me. Works great. Or I bring him into the shower - that works fine too if your baby is not too young. If your baby can sit steadily, you can even put him in the baby bath tub in the shower and wash yourself sitting down next to him. What else? Well, it is my experience that babies can cope with their moms doing almost anything if they are allowed to participate. If you need to eat, talk to your baby while eating. Sit on the floor next to him if necessary. Cook with your (old enough) baby sitting close to you in the kitchen sink for a while. Make your bed with your baby on top of it. Do you see what I mean? Also, invest in a good baby carrier or baby sling and you'll be able to get a lot of things done while your baby is awake.
Hmmm, my everlasting bad conscience... But it makes you feel better, trust me! At least take a brisk walk every day. And a few sit ups maybe. Another nice thing to do is to sign up for a post-partum yoga class if you find one in your neighborhood. But don't start too early. My advice is to wait until your baby is around 8 weeks old. I started too early once, when one of my babies were only 5 weeks old. I sat through most of the classes breastfeeding... For post pregnancy exercise tips, click here. Or if you want a few easy-to-do exercises to get you going, click here.
No matter how tired you are, brush your teeth, wash yourself, brush your hair and put on clothes every day even if you will just stay at home. Use a concealer so you don't have to see those dark-circled eyes every time you spot yourself in the mirror. Actually, did you know that breastfeeding (together with lack of sleep) can make your skin and hair really dry and booring?
Click here for some skin and hair care tips for new moms!
Have great sex for at least one hour each day... Just kidding! If you are a new mother and especially if you breastfeed chances are you won't feel like having sex at all. Exhaustion, hormones, lack of you time and maybe pain from giving birth all works in the wrong direction. I've heard new mothers saying that they almost feel ill - their body doesn't react at all as it used to. It will pass. In the mean time, don't ignore sex completely. It is nice to be a woman instead of a mother and to be close to your man. For more information about why many moms lack interest in sex while breastfeeding, click here.
I guess you've heard it before, but it is worth repeating. Lower your ambitions! Don’t' have a perfect home, cook perfect food, do all the perfect things you planned to. Listen to your heart and prioritize. Skip all musts that aren't that necessary when you think again. Enjoy being a new mother and have fun with your baby instead. And don't think you have to show up a perfect life to be able to meet with your friends. Invite them home and ask them to bring a pizza instead of sweating in the kitchen for hours. There will be plenty of time in the future to excel in all kinds of ways. Being a new mother, now is the time to excel in being rather than doing! Everything takes much longer to do when you have a baby. Not to mention if you are the lucky new mother of two or three children. To get anything at all done on time (if you really have to) plan ahead. Make shopping lists, shop once a week, cook while your baby is asleep even if it's hours before dinner time, set the breakfast table in the evening if the mornings are stressful and so on. And count at least an extra half hour just to get out through the front door if you have an important appointment. Do all you can to reduce your own stress and to realize an easy baby life! Do you feel like eating out? Here's some tips on how to plan a successful dinner at a restaurant. Being a new mother is overwhelming, whether it is to your first, second or fifth baby. I hope these tips help you enjoy this short period a little bit more. If you still need help, don't hesitate to use our
Baby Help Line.
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