Feeding Problem

Feeding Problem

by Krishnan
(Bangalore,Karnataka,India.)

My son is 18 months old and feeding him is a very tough job. He does not eat by himself and it takes both my wife and me to hold him and feed him by force. He is very picky and moody as far as eating is concerned.It gets us worried.

He also sleeps very less and always wants one of us beside him to sleep with. He is very active and wants to play and be carried all the time. Please advice.

Baby Help Line Response:

Hi Krishnan!

Regarding your questions, I can almost feel your frustration and worrying. I do have a few tips that might help you.

First of all, it might be good for you to know that 18 months is a development stage. A lot happens in the mind and body of the young toddler at 18 months and that often means that the baby becomes a bit self-conscious, cranky, wakes up at night and generally wants to be in his parents' arms a lot. Especially the night waking can come as a big surprise for parents that have enjoyed quite undisturbed sleep for months.

But of course, just because it is normal it doesn't mean that it is easy...

Now to your meals, which seem to have become real power struggles. I have a suggestion for you; completely stop forcing your son to eat for two weeks. Instead, do all you can to help him discover that eating can be fun and pleasant.

Give him mainly foods that he likes. Now and then you can add a little something new on his plate and encourage him to try it. No forcing, no nagging, but big smiles and applauds when he dares to.

Let him feed himself, no matter how greasy it gets, how long it takes and how little he eats. Many babies in his age and even younger simply hate being fed. Give him a spoon if he wants one and let him eat with it and his hands from a plate or directly from the table, Whichever way makes him the most content and interested in eating.

Make it fun to eat together by talking to him and each other about pleasant things, singing and joking...

If he wants to leave the table, let him. Offer him plenty of healthy snacks on the go between meals. (Just offer, no big deal if he rejects the fruit, vegetable or whatever you give him)

If you're worried that he won't get enough to eat this way, try to relax. If your child is healthy, he will not starve himself. Add some oil or butter to his foods if he only eats a little bit.

The whole idea is to get rid of the built up tension among the three of you regarding his eating. Chances are that your boy will slowly discover that eating can be nice.

About the sleep situation as well as the fact that he wants to be carried around: To me it sounds like a normal development stage. It can be very frustrating (and heavy) but it passes.

Try to make the nights as easy as you can by helping each other. Take turns attending to your boy, for example. And during the day, hug him, cuddle him and make him feel loved as much as you can. That way his insecurity might pass faster.

Before you know it, he will be a curious toddler again, ready for new adventures!

To learn some more about children's eating habits, click here.

Here you'll find more tips on how to avoid power struggles at meal time. (I still have to bite my tounge quite often, but these tips really work if you follow them.)

Finally, for some ideas on finger foods to give your son to encourage him to eat using his own hands, click here.

(Of course, if you are at all worried that you son's reluctance to eat and his crankiness has anything to do with illness, take him to a doctor for examination.)

I wish you good luck! Please let us know about your progress!

/Paula

The information provided on this site is not intended nor recommended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care professional regarding any medical condition or treatment. Nothing contained on this site is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment.

Comments for
Feeding Problem

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Jun 05, 2008

Power Struggle
by: Jennifer

18 months is a very difficult age. I have 2 daughters, ages 2 and 4, so I know how trying it can be.

18 months is the age where everything has the potential to become a power struggle. I've always found that with eating, letting your child be in charge is the best policy. You can decide what to serve, but always let your child decide how much to eat and whether he even eats at all. DO NOT force feed your child, as it just makes it worse at the next mealtime. I would suggest stopping that for the next month. Give him food at mealtimes as if you fully expect that he is going to eat it on his own, but don't even say anything when he doesn't. He will probably test you at first by not eating to see if you really mean this new laid-back attitude about mealtime--and you'll probably be getting worried that he's going to wither away. It's amazing how little food 18 month olds actually need to survive, and know that no kid has voluntarily starved themselves to death. Yours will be fine if you continue being laid-back about meals. He will grow out of it.

At bedtime, have you tried sitting in a chair in his room but not allowing him to sleep with you? He seems to want your company and your attention, and simply being in the room could satisfy his desires for that. Pick a good book and sit in a chair in his doorway until he falls asleep. Don't talk to him, just tell him that it's time to sleep. There may be a lot of crying and screaming as he gets used to this new routine, but it will pass.

Good luck!

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Jun 05, 2008
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Submitted by: Jennifer

Title

Comment
18 months is a very difficult age. I have 2 daughters, ages 2 and 4, so I know how trying it can be. 18 months is the age where everything has the potential to become a power struggle. I've always found that with eating, letting your child be in charge is the best policy. You can decide what to serve, but always let your child decide how much to eat and whether he even eats at all. DO NOT force feed your child, as it just makes it worse at the next mealtime. I would suggest stopping that for the next month. Give him food at mealtimes as if you fully expect that he is going to eat it on his own, but don't even say anything when he doesn't. He will probably test you at first by not eating to see if you really mean this new laid-back attitude about mealtime--and you'll probably be getting worried that he's going to wither away. It's amazing how little food 18 month olds actually need to survive, and know that no kid has voluntarily starved themselves to death. Yours will be fine if you continue being laid-back about meals. He will grow out of it. At bedtime, have you tried sitting in a chair in his room but not allowing him to sleep with you? He seems to want your company and your attention, and simply being in the room could satisfy his desires for that. Pick a good book and sit in a chair in his doorway until he falls asleep. Don't talk to him, just tell him that it's time to sleep. There may be a lot of crying and screaming as he gets used to this new routine, but it will pass. Good luck!

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Jan 09, 2009

My 11mnth boy weighs only 14lbs and wont eat.
by: Nigo

Hi mums,this site has been a blessing. I live in Nigeria ,w,Africa where it is a shame to have a small baby. He hates food and clamps his mouth shut at the sight of food. Meal times are distressing,as I have to hit him 2 cry and gulp down his cereal. That's normal here, but I hate it n need advice. He is so small that he wears 6mnth old clothes. Advice welcome.he was born 2.2kg .

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