Low Sex Drive And Painful Sex When We Have It

by New mom

Thank you for creating this page. I went to the OB/GYN office because of sex being so painful after having my daughter. I had had a C-section, so I was NOT expecting sexual problems.

However, I found sex to be very painful & found that I'm having problems with dryness. The nurse practitioner at the OB/GYN office had never heard of breastfeeding moms having discomfort during sex!

However, my own web research has turned up a number of sources explaining that the hormonal changes caused by breastfeeding can cause low sex drive, dryness, extra sensitivity/discomfort, etc.

It's hard to continue breastfeeding knowing that if I stopped, my relationship with my husband might actually go back to normal. But there are so many health benefits for my baby that I'm going to try to keep breastfeeding until my daughter is 6-9 months old. I don't think I'm going to make it for a full year.

Easy Baby Life:

Low Sex Drive From Breastfeeding...

It's just amazing that a nurse at the OB/GYN can be so uninformed! I bet she hadn't had any children of her own.

I'm glad you didn't give up and searched for more information. And it sure is something people don't talk about and don't make an expecting mom (and dad) prepared for!

To give you a little bit of hope, once your baby starts eating more and more solids, it might just be that your sex drive improves as well as the dryness - even without weaning from breastfeeding.

And do remember to show your husband all the information about how crazy hormones get from breastfeeding, so that he understands what's going on.

Good luck!

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Comments for
Low Sex Drive And Painful Sex When We Have It

Dec 20, 2007
by: Anonymous

I was really worried... I just had sex fo rthe first time since my c-section ( 4 weeks ago) we used lube but I was really sensitive! it felt like he was streching me apart almost like having sex for the first time ever! it got a little more enjoyable as we went on ...but I was worried there was something wrong with me... guess it's because I'm breastfeeding

Jun 01, 2008
Pain during sex after having a baby
by: Anonymous

My husband and I can only attempt to try and have sex since we have had our daughter. Its way too painful we cannot even do it. I'm breastfeeding too by the way. It feels like my insides are ripping. I've bled trying to have sex as well. I'm wondering if anyone has this problem as bad as I do. The dr says its vaginal dryness because of breastfeeding.

Dec 07, 2008
Painful Sex
by: Anonymous

I gave birth to my daughter 7 weeks ago and have attempted sex a few times. Each time has been pretty painful because of the dryness from breastfeeding. My husband and I use A LOT of lubricant. I have tried many lubricant's in the past and the best one I have found that works the best is one called EROS. I have only found it in the Adult Stores but it really helps while having sex.

Dec 07, 2008
Eros at Amazon!
by: Paula

Hi there!

I did a little research and found the Eros lubricant at Amazon. So no need to visit an adult store unless you want to... ;-)

You can check out the Eros Lubricant here.



Apr 27, 2009
I'm not alone
by: Anonymous

Wow, I am glad to know that I am not alone in having a low sex drive and I find that sex is very painful and uncomfortable since having my son.

I too had a C section and am breastfeeding. I was wondering if it was just me experiencing these problems.

I have found that Pre-Seed
works as an amazing lubricant. You can only order it on line.

It is used primarily for woman who are trying to conceive as it does not interfere with the sperm and it mimics your own body fluid perfectly. I used it the second time we had sex after giving birth and the sex was much better.

Nov 25, 2009
bad sex problem
by: ke ke

O MY GOODNESS im so glad to know that im not the only one with the painful sex problem.The wetness is not there either. Im also breastfeeding and never want to have sex with my husband. My daughter is now 6 weeks old and i thought it would have went away by now. I didnt try the lube yet but will soon.

Jan 25, 2010
thank you to all!
by: Anonymous

Also glad to know that I'm not the only woman unable to have sex while breastfeeding! My daughter is now 9 months and we still have been unsuccessfull because of the pain...She is eating more food now so maybe I should give it another try. I dread it, it's even uncomfortable just when he's touching me. Sick of doing double duty taking care of the baby and pleasing him while I get nada! I wish this was more talked about, I really thought there was something wrong with me.

Jun 08, 2010
by: Anonymous

I tried to breastfeed my son but he wouldnt take, I pumped for about 5 weeks and I remember the first time as well being extremely painful felt as if I was a virgin...it has now been about 13 weeks since I had him via c section and I am still having pain even though Im not even pumping anymore..I dont know what to do, my libido seems to be lower too..does anyone else have this problem?

Sep 16, 2010
ditto ditto ditto and boo hoo!
by: Anonymous

I am so discouraged to learn that this might continue on! And we are planning to get pregnant again twice more with one-year gaps... sounds like I won't enjoy sex again until I am almost at menopause! If I can even bear to have it to GET pregnant...

Sep 18, 2010
Soooooo glad im normal!!!!
by: Lisa

I was getting a bit worried i thought id turned into a virgin again! my baby girl is now 7 months and we've only tried to have sex twice the second time being last night as we've just got engaged! Thought id better try at least, bless him hes been so good. I only bf for 8 wks with my first and we didn't attempt anything until she was 12 wks so all was fine. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, i was stressing out thinking i was going to have to go to the drs so they could have a look! My bf thought it was because of him and that he didn't do it for me any more lol, i just couldn't b bothered either, no interest what so ever, so fingers crossed when i stop bfding ill be back to normal, what ever that is ;)

Mar 13, 2011
same problem
by: Anonymous

Really please to know that I'm not the only one, I was about to see an GP today because of the low sex drive, dryness and painful sex I've been having after giving birth to my son. I really thought I have some kind of problem.

My son is now 9 months, I too also had C-section and am still breastfeeding. My husband and I attempted to have sex a few times but only twice was successful since giving birth due to the problem above I've experienced.

I wouldn't want to give up on breastfeeding but it's really hard to think it might affect our relationship. Although my husband has being very supportive and understanding, but who knows how long he can take.

Mar 15, 2011
Me too
by: Anonymous

I am so glad to know I am not the only one. My twins are 6 months and I am breastfeeding. We heve only had sex twice since they were born via c section and the first time we had to stop because it was so painful. I don't even want to think about sex which is weird because I was extremely sexual and had no problem with my natural lubrication before I got pregnant. My biggest worry is that it will ruin our relationship but he assures me he totally understands. I do pleasure him orally quite often just to make sure he stays around LOL! That would be my advice to anyone in my situation because every guy knows they're the luckiest if they're getting a BJ all the time even if there's no sex.

Feb 06, 2012
2 years and still going
by: Anonymous

Its been 2 years on wednesday since i had my daughter and sex it so extremely painful still, i feel so sorry for my partner who has stood by me through the past 2 years and understands, our sex life is non existitant. Im finally taking the dive tomorrow to see my dr about it, examination or not!!

Sep 27, 2012
Totally in the same boat!
by: Anonymous

Wow! I am so happy I came across this forum! I, too, am a new breastfeeding mom of a 12 week old baby girl & have not been able to have sex yet. I have been feeling so incredibly guilty since my boyfriend & I unsuccessfully tried to have sex at 6 weeks post. We tried about once a week for a few weeks, all ending up unsuccessful with me crying from the pain. We tried a few different lubricants
& some toys thinking that I just had to ease back into sex with my changed body but nothing seems to be working.
About two weeks ago, I got an IUD implanted for birth control & talked to my OB/GYN about the painful sex & she explained exactly what we are all talking about on here. Breastfeeding causes you to lose all estrogen & therefore can also cause extreme dryness which is much like your body is going through menopause. She advises lots of water-based lubricant & prescribed me Estrace- a menopausal cream that you insert much like a tampon. I used it once & it was quite messy & seemed to leak out periodically all day.
After reading some posts online, a lot of women have had success with these menopause creams so I think I am going to try to use this again.
I really wish this was spoken about more often because I did not anticipate all this guilt & it's been a battle because I feel like I have to decide whether to continue breastfeeding & put that frustration & strain on my relationship with my boyfriend or to stop breastfeeding & deal with the guilt of giving our baby formula.
Here's to hoping we can find a solution where breastfeeding can continue & pleasurable sex can make a comeback!

Nov 27, 2012
Intimacy after c-section NEW
by: Jenn

I really thought that since I had a c-section, that I wouldn't have any issues once I was given the "go-ahead" by my OB-GYN to start having sex again. Boy was I wrong!! I couldn't believe how much it hurt the first time my husband and I tried. I mean, I know it had been 6 weeks or so, but I didn't think that things would shrink up that much and be (what felt like) tight, and since I didn't have a vaginal birth, I was certain there wouldn't be any issues for my husband as far as bad memories. But since I was breastfeeding I was so dehydrated (although I was drinking crazy amounts of water) and therefore had a dryness issue.

Even now with our baby being 6 months old, I still have to take our time in the beginning and make sure we use lubrication - otherwise it is just so uncomfortable - and I don't want my husband to think I don't enjoy having sex with him!

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