Lost Myself Also

by Jamie

I had my first child at 16 years old, an unplanned pregnancy of course. Although I enjoyed being a mother I knew that I did not want any more children. I had an IUD placed just to make sure. I met my husband a whole 10 years later and we quickly fell in love and got married. It's amazing what stability and love can do for your thoughts. We married a year later and two weeks after the wedding I had the IUD removed. I was told that I would be able to get pregnant right away. Six agonizing months went by before I got a positive pregnancy test. Needless to say we where over the moon excited. Everything was perfect until one night I started to have slight cramping that I thought was just some stomach issues. Within an hour of the first cramp we where sitting in the emergency room and I was bleeding so badly I just knew in my heart that my world was about to be rocked. Sure enough we lost our little dream come true. I thought I would never get over the heartbreak. I didn't want to eat and just could not keep from crying. I felt like my life was over.

Eventually I started to regain my composure one day at a time and with the help of a local miscarriage support group. For the next three years we tried and tried to get pregnant again. We succeeded a few times but each ended in early miscarriage. I blamed it on the IUD, my husband just blamed on fate and destiny. I gave up on my dreams of having another baby.

Another few months by after three of pregnancies and miscarriages and I had a routine gyn appointment. I found out that day that I was expecting, without even trying and held my breath for nine months until my beautiful baby girl was born. The best way I can describe as how I got through 8 miscarriages is that I just kept telling myself that everything happens for a reason and life must go on. My baby girl is now one month old and I still have to pinch myself sometimes because I never thought I would ever be a mommy again.

Comments for
Lost Myself Also

Oct 25, 2010
by: Paula

Jamie, my warmest congratulations to becoming a mom again! I can't even imagine how tough it must have been. 8 miscarriages!! I was heartbroken after just one.

Thank you so much for sharing!

Oct 25, 2010
good for you
by: Anonymous

so happy for you, maybe the stress of not trying it was able to maintain!

Return to My Miscarriage Journey

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