Why Isn't My 18 Month Old Daughter Sleeping Through the Night?

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Why Isn't My 18 Month Old Daughter Sleeping Through the Night?

by Tina
(Kent)

I have a daughter of 18 months and about 5 months ago she stopped sleeping through the night. She usually wakes now between 2-4 times in a night starting from 1.30am onwards. I have tried ignoring her and I have also done the giving into her and giving her more milk.

Nothing seems to work.

She goes to bed at 6.30 every night and has done since she was new born (she used to sleep all through the night). She still has 2 naps a day each lasting exactly an hour. She eats well so its not hunger, she drinks plenty. Her teeth were a problem but now she has a mouth full, so it’s not teething. I am at my wits end to find out why, if anybody has any ideas please help.

Baby Help Line Response:

Hi Tina!

You know what; I’d say your little toddler is completely normal! It is very common for babies to start waking up again at night at some point between 1 and 1,5 years, only no one tells you that! There is sooo much focus on having your baby sleep through the night right from the start, but there is very little information about the fact that the probability of this continuing forever is very low.

At the age of you daughter a lot happens. They start talking or at least understanding words and communicate, they move around and they understand much more than before. Nightmares are common at around 18 months, for example.

One thing I think you should do is to cut down on the night time feeding as fast as you can (if she still does get milk at night). In my experience, the habit if eating at night really is an obstacle for learning to sleep through the night for older babies.

You don’t say anything about your bedtime routines, but if your girl doesn’t fall asleep in her own bed, that might be something to start working on. Personally, I’m very much against the cry it out method, but rather slowly help her learn to fall asleep in her bed, by putting her down there when she is really tired and then staying with her.

Ones she has learned to fall asleep on her own and the feeding is gone, there is a much better chance that she’ll wake up less often.

Does any of this help your situation? Otherwise, write some more details and we’ll work something out.

And maybe your goal shouldn’t be to have her sleep through the night but to wake up less often. Many children wake up at night a few times per week and walk into their parents’ bedroom for several years. Buy a big bed and realise that within a few years, your girl wouldn’t dream of sleeping next to mom… They grow so fast and she needs you now!

Good luck!

/Paula

Comments for
Why Isn't My 18 Month Old Daughter Sleeping Through the Night?

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Jan 14, 2009

Just a suggestion..
by: Anonymous

My daughter (I have 2 at the moment) and I found that instead of putting them (one is 3 and the other is 18 months) to bed after their usual 6:30p time, they tend to sleep better in their own beds. At first I wasn't too keen about them staying up so late, but after I realized that it worked, I insist my girls to stay up til at least 830p to 9p. They usually will play until they are too tired to move and fall asleep on their own and sleep throughout the night. Just a suggestion.

Jan 15, 2009

My daughters now 29 months old!
by: Tina

After I stopped giving into her demands for milk she started to sleep through the night again. She has been in a proper bed since she was 1. She now has a new sleep problem of me having to lay with her until she falls asleep holding hands. She still goes to bed early we tried keeping her up late and she became irretable and stressed. She has now stopped all sleeps during the day and goes off to bed at 6pm, she holds my hand until she falls asleep which is usually within 5 minutes. The only time she gets up now is when she needs to go to the toilet as she has been out of nappies for a year now.
Thank you for your reply.

Jan 19, 2009

not bad habits
by: Dede

Hi Tina,
I wouldn't say that having to lay with her holding her hand is a bad habit at all, it is a comfort for her. I have 5 children and I laid with them all till they went to sleep, each with their own little "habit" playing with hair, rubbing back, holding hands, and gently brushing the bridge of the nose LOL I loved evry minute of it, my youngest now is 18mths and we are now going through her not sleeping through the night. I do not believe in leaving them cry at all.
I know that having busy lifestyles can quite often make this very frustrating, but it is important to remember that there is an end, it is generally always a faze and it will pass. Knowing that just by laying with them for 5 min or even 20 lets them rest peacfully during the night makes you realize how very much your comforting does for them. It is completely normal for kids through toddler years to wake through the night, embrace every moment good and bad, they are only little once!
Good luck :)

Jan 20, 2009

For Dede
by: Tina

Thanks for your comments Dede. She is my 3rd child I have 2 boys of 13 and 10 years and I must say people did tell me girls were different.
I do love every minute of the holding hands at bed time, I feel needed as with the boys they dont need me anymore. I was just worried that I was making a rod of my own back for giving into her as she was sent to sleep clinic by the health visitors hence the crying technique early on in her routine. I was told not to give in to her she would eventualy stop. I did think at the time it seemed cruel to make my baby cry herself to sleep. Sometimes I wonder if these people actualy have children they adore!

Jan 20, 2009

for Tina
by: Dede

I would say the heck with them LOL no one knows your child better than you, and I always find it odd that they use the term giving into like the child is being a certain way LOL You are right I don't think they have children. Children are so impressionable right from birth, and I know all these pro's say that the babies are fine with "crying it out" I would seriously fear I would create abandonment issues or something.
Tina I think you are doing exactly the right things, you are giving into her yes, but her needs not just her wants.
And yu can take assurance in knowing she feels secure and safe everynight when she goes to sleep because you gave that to her! Proffessionals would probably call me a sucker, or say I do things the wrong way, but I say I love my children, and they are exactly that, mine LOL and if I can live happily, and my children are happy and safe and we are all comfortable, that is what is important.
You must have seen a big difference with your daughter after having 2 boys! Well have fun with them! Just take it one day at a time, that's all anyone can do!
Take care :)

Feb 10, 2009

I have a 14month who wont sleep through the night
by: Carli

Hi, my name is carli and I have a 14month old son who just started to wake up through the night. It started about a week and 1/2 ago. I thought it was because he is sick with a cold, or maybe teeth. I am completely stumped of why this is happening. I have started him on giving him milk... but that doesnt work either..

too be honest i am really lucky that i dont have to wake up for work early in the morning. i wish their was something i could do, last night i was up for an hour and 1/2.

But from what i am reading it seams that this is all normal and its another stage along with many...

I guess i just have to continue to be patient and pray this stage ends sooner than later.

good luck i think you now know and so do i that we are not alone in this and many parents have gone through it... which in away is very comforting.

Feb 11, 2009

Carli
by: Tina

Hi Carli, I feel like a pro NOW, but at the time when its happening to you it feels like your the only person its happening too. I kept searching the net to see if anybody was in the same boat as me and nothing came close. Dont get me wrong the Health Visitors can be very helpful but when they say to you stop the milk, dont hold them, leave them in the room on there own, they are your babies and you dont want them destressed, yes maybe you are making things worse for yourself in the long run, but I think you have to tackle every new problem a bit a time and how it suits you and your baby. I have 3 children and yes they are all very different, my first son went to bed at 6 and slept all nite, my second son went to bed at 6 got up a few times in the night but my gorgeous daughter goes to bed at 7 now and is a total nightmare but the way I look at it is I have 3 healthy children and Im lucky I have them. At the end of the day its only sleep, if he sleeps during the day have a sleep with him, I know I do now so I can be at my best for them. Good luck and remember its not forever they grow up so quickliy its scary!

Mar 04, 2009

My 18m won't go BACK to Sleep
by: Anonymous

My 18m daughter has the same issue as a lot of your kids have, except she is waking up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep (even if I "give" in and let her sleep in our bed, or lie down with her to fall asleep). It's like she's up and ready to play, and it doesn't seem to depend on how much she slept during the day or when she went to bed that night. I tried the "tough love" cry-it-out method, but she screamed for 2 hours before I couldn't take it anymore! She slept through the night great until recently, and she still goes down at bedtime fine. Any suggestions here?

Mar 05, 2009

Anonymous
by: Tina

Hi ya, I went through the same with my daughter aswell it wasnt for long. She would get up and run around the living room and want to watch her programmes. All you can do is grin and bare it and just go with the flow with her. Sleep deprevation is an awful thing for a mother I know but at the end of the day she will do what she wants anyway (they always do). Have you tried a bath just before bed time and a warm milk? Dont fall into the giving into her at night for a milk because it does make it worse because they end up getting up as a routine every night for one, then you have another problem to solve. And just wear her out during the day, try taking her to a soft gym area they are great for making them tired.
Good Luck

Apr 20, 2009

I can relate!!!
by: Anonymous

I am in almost the exact same situation except my daughter is almost a year old. She's been sleeping through the night (average of 10-12 hours) beautifully since 2 months old BUT, in the past 2 months or so, she's reverted to waking up multiple times per night. I am exhausted!! I know she's not hungry and I'm pretty sure it's not her teeth either. It's very discouraging - I feel like a bad mom because I had her in such a great schedule before. Anyway... maybe there's no answers per se but just wanted to let you know you're not alone! (and, hey, if anyone DOES have some good suggestions, please throw them my way). Good luck to all the tired mommies!

Aug 13, 2009

help!
by: kennedy

My daughter is 18 months- wakes up 2-3x a night asking for "ba ba". I give in, because she takes the bottle, rolls over and goes back to sleep for another 2-3 hours.

I know I have to stop giving her the bottle during the night. How do I do this???? Everytime I treid and kind of version of letting her CIO- she violently throws up! Please help!

Aug 14, 2009

Hi Kennedy
by: Tina

Does she actually make herself sick? My daughter started this about the same age she is 3 now. Stop the milk now! When she wakes and asks for her bottle tell her not at nite time. This will take up2 a week of telling her NO but dont give in it DOES work.
My daughter used to cry so hard it brought on the sickness which she did a fair few times. I found eventualy, cause she would start this whilst at the shops when she didnt get her own way aswell, I told her to "stop it" in a firm voice. She would keep doing it but I just carried on saying "stop it" in a controlled voice. She would then just sob so I would hug her but not until she stopped the coughing and reaching. When she stops praise her for stopping. But once u start any of these ways u must c them through, its hard but for yr own sanity u have 2 b in control!