Why Isn't My 18 Month Old Daughter Sleeping Through the Night?

by Tina
(Kent)

I have a daughter of 18 months and about 5 months ago she stopped sleeping through the night. She usually wakes now between 2-4 times in a night starting from 1.30am onwards. I have tried ignoring her and I have also done the giving into her and giving her more milk.

Nothing seems to work.

She goes to bed at 6.30 every night and has done since she was new born (she used to sleep all through the night). She still has 2 naps a day each lasting exactly an hour. She eats well so its not hunger, she drinks plenty. Her teeth were a problem but now she has a mouth full, so it’s not teething. I am at my wits end to find out why, if anybody has any ideas please help.







Baby Help Line Response:

Hi Tina!

You know what; I’d say your little toddler is completely normal! It is very common for babies to start waking up again at night at some point between 1 and 1,5 years, only no one tells you that! There is sooo much focus on having your baby sleep through the night right from the start, but there is very little information about the fact that the probability of this continuing forever is very low.

At the age of you daughter a lot happens. They start talking or at least understanding words and communicate, they move around and they understand much more than before. Nightmares are common at around 18 months, for example.

One thing I think you should do is to cut down on the night time feeding as fast as you can (if she still does get milk at night). In my experience, the habit if eating at night really is an obstacle for learning to sleep through the night for older babies.

You don’t say anything about your bedtime routines, but if your girl doesn’t fall asleep in her own bed, that might be something to start working on. Personally, I’m very much against the cry it out method, but rather slowly help her learn to fall asleep in her bed, by putting her down there when she is really tired and then staying with her.

Ones she has learned to fall asleep on her own and the feeding is gone, there is a much better chance that she’ll wake up less often.

Does any of this help your situation? Otherwise, write some more details and we’ll work something out.

And maybe your goal shouldn’t be to have her sleep through the night but to wake up less often. Many children wake up at night a few times per week and walk into their parents’ bedroom for several years. Buy a big bed and realise that within a few years, your girl wouldn’t dream of sleeping next to mom… They grow so fast and she needs you now!

Good luck!

/Paula

Comments for
Why Isn't My 18 Month Old Daughter Sleeping Through the Night?

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Jan 14, 2009
 Just a suggestion..
by: Anonymous

My daughter (I have 2 at the moment) and I found that instead of putting them (one is 3 and the other is 18 months) to bed after their usual 6:30p time, they tend to sleep better in their own beds. At first I wasn't too keen about them staying up so late, but after I realized that it worked, I insist my girls to stay up til at least 830p to 9p. They usually will play until they are too tired to move and fall asleep on their own and sleep throughout the night. Just a suggestion.
Jan 15, 2009
 My daughters now 29 months old!
by: Tina

After I stopped giving into her demands for milk she started to sleep through the night again. She has been in a proper bed since she was 1. She now has a new sleep problem of me having to lay with her until she falls asleep holding hands. She still goes to bed early we tried keeping her up late and she became irretable and stressed. She has now stopped all sleeps during the day and goes off to bed at 6pm, she holds my hand until she falls asleep which is usually within 5 minutes. The only time she gets up now is when she needs to go to the toilet as she has been out of nappies for a year now.
Thank you for your reply.
Jan 19, 2009
 not bad habits
by: Dede

Hi Tina,
I wouldn't say that having to lay with her holding her hand is a bad habit at all, it is a comfort for her. I have 5 children and I laid with them all till they went to sleep, each with their own little "habit" playing with hair, rubbing back, holding hands, and gently brushing the bridge of the nose LOL I loved evry minute of it, my youngest now is 18mths and we are now going through her not sleeping through the night. I do not believe in leaving them cry at all.
I know that having busy lifestyles can quite often make this very frustrating, but it is important to remember that there is an end, it is generally always a faze and it will pass. Knowing that just by laying with them for 5 min or even 20 lets them rest peacfully during the night makes you realize how very much your comforting does for them. It is completely normal for kids through toddler years to wake through the night, embrace every moment good and bad, they are only little once!
Good luck :)
Jan 20, 2009
 For Dede
by: Tina

Thanks for your comments Dede. She is my 3rd child I have 2 boys of 13 and 10 years and I must say people did tell me girls were different.
I do love every minute of the holding hands at bed time, I feel needed as with the boys they dont need me anymore. I was just worried that I was making a rod of my own back for giving into her as she was sent to sleep clinic by the health visitors hence the crying technique early on in her routine. I was told not to give in to her she would eventualy stop. I did think at the time it seemed cruel to make my baby cry herself to sleep. Sometimes I wonder if these people actualy have children they adore!
Jan 20, 2009
 for Tina
by: Dede

I would say the heck with them LOL no one knows your child better than you, and I always find it odd that they use the term giving into like the child is being a certain way LOL You are right I don't think they have children. Children are so impressionable right from birth, and I know all these pro's say that the babies are fine with "crying it out" I would seriously fear I would create abandonment issues or something.
Tina I think you are doing exactly the right things, you are giving into her yes, but her needs not just her wants.
And yu can take assurance in knowing she feels secure and safe everynight when she goes to sleep because you gave that to her! Proffessionals would probably call me a sucker, or say I do things the wrong way, but I say I love my children, and they are exactly that, mine LOL and if I can live happily, and my children are happy and safe and we are all comfortable, that is what is important.
You must have seen a big difference with your daughter after having 2 boys! Well have fun with them! Just take it one day at a time, that's all anyone can do!
Take care :)
Feb 10, 2009
 I have a 14month who wont sleep through the night
by: Carli

Hi, my name is carli and I have a 14month old son who just started to wake up through the night. It started about a week and 1/2 ago. I thought it was because he is sick with a cold, or maybe teeth. I am completely stumped of why this is happening. I have started him on giving him milk... but that doesnt work either..

too be honest i am really lucky that i dont have to wake up for work early in the morning. i wish their was something i could do, last night i was up for an hour and 1/2.

But from what i am reading it seams that this is all normal and its another stage along with many...

I guess i just have to continue to be patient and pray this stage ends sooner than later.

good luck i think you now know and so do i that we are not alone in this and many parents have gone through it... which in away is very comforting.
Feb 11, 2009
 Carli
by: Tina

Hi Carli, I feel like a pro NOW, but at the time when its happening to you it feels like your the only person its happening too. I kept searching the net to see if anybody was in the same boat as me and nothing came close. Dont get me wrong the Health Visitors can be very helpful but when they say to you stop the milk, dont hold them, leave them in the room on there own, they are your babies and you dont want them destressed, yes maybe you are making things worse for yourself in the long run, but I think you have to tackle every new problem a bit a time and how it suits you and your baby. I have 3 children and yes they are all very different, my first son went to bed at 6 and slept all nite, my second son went to bed at 6 got up a few times in the night but my gorgeous daughter goes to bed at 7 now and is a total nightmare but the way I look at it is I have 3 healthy children and Im lucky I have them. At the end of the day its only sleep, if he sleeps during the day have a sleep with him, I know I do now so I can be at my best for them. Good luck and remember its not forever they grow up so quickliy its scary!
Mar 04, 2009
 My 18m won't go BACK to Sleep
by: Anonymous

My 18m daughter has the same issue as a lot of your kids have, except she is waking up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep (even if I "give" in and let her sleep in our bed, or lie down with her to fall asleep). It's like she's up and ready to play, and it doesn't seem to depend on how much she slept during the day or when she went to bed that night. I tried the "tough love" cry-it-out method, but she screamed for 2 hours before I couldn't take it anymore! She slept through the night great until recently, and she still goes down at bedtime fine. Any suggestions here?
Mar 05, 2009
 Anonymous
by: Tina

Hi ya, I went through the same with my daughter aswell it wasnt for long. She would get up and run around the living room and want to watch her programmes. All you can do is grin and bare it and just go with the flow with her. Sleep deprevation is an awful thing for a mother I know but at the end of the day she will do what she wants anyway (they always do). Have you tried a bath just before bed time and a warm milk? Dont fall into the giving into her at night for a milk because it does make it worse because they end up getting up as a routine every night for one, then you have another problem to solve. And just wear her out during the day, try taking her to a soft gym area they are great for making them tired.
Good Luck
Apr 20, 2009
 I can relate!!!
by: Anonymous

I am in almost the exact same situation except my daughter is almost a year old. She's been sleeping through the night (average of 10-12 hours) beautifully since 2 months old BUT, in the past 2 months or so, she's reverted to waking up multiple times per night. I am exhausted!! I know she's not hungry and I'm pretty sure it's not her teeth either. It's very discouraging - I feel like a bad mom because I had her in such a great schedule before. Anyway... maybe there's no answers per se but just wanted to let you know you're not alone! (and, hey, if anyone DOES have some good suggestions, please throw them my way). Good luck to all the tired mommies!
Aug 13, 2009
 help!
by: kennedy

My daughter is 18 months- wakes up 2-3x a night asking for "ba ba". I give in, because she takes the bottle, rolls over and goes back to sleep for another 2-3 hours.

I know I have to stop giving her the bottle during the night. How do I do this???? Everytime I treid and kind of version of letting her CIO- she violently throws up! Please help!
Aug 14, 2009
 Hi Kennedy
by: Tina

Does she actually make herself sick? My daughter started this about the same age she is 3 now. Stop the milk now! When she wakes and asks for her bottle tell her not at nite time. This will take up2 a week of telling her NO but dont give in it DOES work.
My daughter used to cry so hard it brought on the sickness which she did a fair few times. I found eventualy, cause she would start this whilst at the shops when she didnt get her own way aswell, I told her to "stop it" in a firm voice. She would keep doing it but I just carried on saying "stop it" in a controlled voice. She would then just sob so I would hug her but not until she stopped the coughing and reaching. When she stops praise her for stopping. But once u start any of these ways u must c them through, its hard but for yr own sanity u have 2 b in control!
Nov 23, 2009
 Help please!!!! Im soooo tired
by: Adriana

Ok. My son is 26 months old. He started sleeping through the night when he was 6 months old. beside the ocassional wake up here and there he has always been really good about sleeping. We have moved 3 times since he was born, it never seemed to affect him. His father and I seperated 7 months ago and it didnt seeem to affect him either. I lost my job 3 months ago and have now been hom ewith him more often so I dont think its abandonment issues. About 2 weeks ago he started waking up all night long. He goes to bed around 8:30 pm and has a routine. Bathtime, warm milk, brush teeth and then book time. He lays down in his own bed and I sing to him and then say goodnight before he is asleep. This has always been our routine and has worked beautifully. We still do this and it still works. Except for now he wakes up around 10pm, screaming, sounding terrified- sometimes he is still asleep so I figured this was night terrors, but he wakes too often. He seeems to just want the comfort of knowing I am there because I will enter his room and kiss him and he lays down instantly and goes back to sleep without any kind of fight. this continues all night. 11:30, 1am, 2am, 2:30am,3am, you get the idea. around 6am I will bring him into my bed so I can get atleast a solid hour of sleep. I normally doesnt get milk when he sleeps, but I have been trying it, it is not working so i have stopped. He stopped using his pacifier 2 1/2 months ago with ease. The only thing I can imagine is happening is that he spends every other night at his Fathers house. He sleeps in his fathers bed even though he has his own room. No matter what I tell his father he doesnt seem to listen to me. Is this the reason this is happening or something else? I am soooooooo tired and confused. I wont let him cry it out because he sounds way too terrified. I know his cries and this is not a manipulative cry. Sometimes he is even crying in is sleep "stop" or "no" or "go away" but he could just be dreaming that his best buddy stole his toy, some advice would help. Thank you!!!!
Nov 24, 2009
 Reply
by: Tina

Hi Adriana
You are not alone if that helps to start with.
I would say that your ex-partner is not helping your situation at all.
Unfortunately I sound like a hipocrit, my daughter is 3 now and she still will not sleep through the night, so I bought her a double bed, she goes to bed fine has about 4 hours and then gets me up. I did it for me more than her because as you have said sleep deprevation is a killer and I dont think anyone understands that unless they have been there. I go to bed with her the rest of the night until the alarm gets us both up.
My daughter says she hates being in there alone, she has no problem sleeping when Im with her.
I know its great that your son goes to his Dads but every other night seems a bit much, this will not help him at all. Is there anyway you can arrange day contact with his Father and only have sleep overs every other weekend.
I dont know why our children do this to us perhaps it is so they can be near us all the time, in a way its really comforting but in and out of bed all night is not good for you.
Try and talk to his Dad ask him if you can just do weekend stays until you can settle his bedtime routine, if he loves his son he will want the best for him. Just ask.
Good luck
Jan 15, 2010
 Help......
by: Harley

I have a 18 month old daughter and a 2 week old son. My partner is going back to work in a couple of days and I'm stuck on getting a bedtime routeen. My daughter is a handfull at bedtime. She has the sides off her cotbed, as she kept climbing out of it, she has a bedrail. So can't let her cry it out, I don't think I could do that tho. She won't go to sleep without a bottle, I have to talk, sing and cuddle her until she is sound asleep. And when she wakes up in the nite she realy does cry it's horrble. She won't go back into her own bed, when we try she just screams and is hystrecal. It's heartbreaking so she comes in bed with us. Also has to have a bottle, usaly 6-7 oz. My partner works unsociable hours so I will be on my own in the evenings. I'm just worried I'll start to settle my daughter and my son will cry then my daughter won't settle and I will just be going backwards and forwards. I'd been trying pretty much everything while I was preganant to settle her on her own but nothing worked. Please help..... (oh and I'm sorry about my spelling it's dreadful)
Jan 19, 2010
 19 month old.
by: Anonymous

My boy eats very little during the day and i often wonder how he gets by. He sees the spoon and freaks out and turns his head.... I have tried giving him what i have but he does not sit long enough, he is ALways on the go. I have to distract him with tv or toys so he eats.
He has no naps hardly, it all depends on what time he gts tired.
At bedtime he will Ask for bot bot and have 4 oz then go to bed and have another 2oz then fall asleep withn 5 mins.
Then he moves and stirs and is hardly still all through the night. he will wake up cold cause he moves around that much,
He asks for bot bot about 4 times a night but its the movign around and never actaully sleepign that is gettign to me.
Every time h moves around he loses his dummy and then wants it and its just a constant thing during the night.
Some people say i am lucky he wakes at 9am but he does not actually sleep all the way through.
Why i this?? Am i doign somethign wrong?
Jan 19, 2010
 Anonymous
by: Tina

Hi, Dont blame yrself for anything yr kids do, they do what they want when they want. I found this out from experience.
I have an 11 yr old son who has eating problems well thats what I say as he doesnt eat hardly anything but took him 2 drs and they say aslong as he has something he is eating. Leave his food where he can get it himself when hes hungry he will get it even if its cold. Leave snacks about in bowls. Doesnt matter if there not healthy snacks (crisps, biscuits, even fruit if he eats it)
As for the fidgiting in bed my 3yr old tossed and turned all nite long and didnt sleep, I bought her a double bed and sleep with her, this has cured her not sleepin (not pratical in long run but at least we sleep).
I look in the long run of the fact they are not going to b little forever and its just a time thing, it will all correct itself.
Feb 02, 2010
 19mnth old not sleeping
by: Angela

Hi, my son is 19mnths and at the minute he is in with me and dad, luckily I have a superking size bed!! he went through a stage of sleeping in his cot no probs, then I went away for a weekend and his dad gave in to him and now he wont sleep in his cot, screams blue murder, I work full time, up at 6.10am so now I take him up to bed at 8.30 at the lastest lie with him on my bed till settles usualy within ten mins, then I put him in his own little toddler bed next to mine, sometimes he wakes up 3hrs later then I pop over into his bed lie with him till asleep again, then he goes over again, then wants a little milk!! (Im so trying to break that habit) then he goes over till 7ish..

I am going to move is toddler bed into his room once he is comfortable in it all night..

So Im pleased Im not alone, he has 4 more teeth to go so Im hoping wants he has a full set he will settle better....

I really do think at this age it is a comfort thing, and also can I just say, if I go out with my friends or etc, and daddy settles him he is good as gold, and when he stops at grandparents he is good as gold! the saying goes they have us mammies right where they want us!!!!!

Goodluck and your not alone..
Angela
Feb 27, 2010
 enery
by: laura

KEY! my baby has bundles of energy....
My daughter is 18months now and also was a good sleeper till the age of about 14 months.she then started waking at 11pm and would only then get into my bed... she then started jumping out of her cot, so i bought her a bed...so she then and still goes down happily, but still woke in the night. she got the sick bug a couple of times then a cold and it threw her sleep times again and she now wont go down until 9pm or 11pm...unless i go to bed with her.
i have stopped her bed milk (as it is said to cause congestion) and am slowly taking away the dumby. I have changed a couple of things though. i found that being a busy mum i was talking with my daughter through the day and getting her involved but wasnt taking a few blocks out of the day where i wasnt focusing on her, dancing or sitting with her facing me ...talking with her whilst sitting on my lap . dont get me wrong i spend all day with her but found when i did this 1 on 1 full attention she had had her full of mummy b4 bed so didnt crave for me so much at night. Also i found that because of the winter weather i wasnt taking her to the parks as much. she needed the fresh air and run around to wear her out! and this is key. Being indoors (classes or home) isnt enough. swimming is also a good one...
she is not sleeping through the night but i see a big change and know its on the horizon sometime soon :)
Mar 16, 2010
 How can I stop this...
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 19 monhts and has had a history of ear infections. About a month ago we had tubes put in her ears but that did not seem to help with the constant waking up at night. She has developed a routine of falling alseep on our living room floor while watching a movie and drinking milk. I have tried moving her to her bed, but then she wakes and wants me to lay on the living room floor with her. My husband and I do not like her being in the living room, so we have tried moving the blankets, pillows, and her teddy to her bedroom floor, and our floor after she has fallen alseep, but she still wakes up and will not lay back down until I move it all back to the living room floor. (she won't even lay in bed with us) Even though we are letting her sleep where she wants she still wakes up anywhere from 3-4x a night. And a few nights ago she woke about 7 times. She has had a routine since she was btw 1-2 months...bath, warm milk, kisses. But I have always comforted her to sleep; now she falls alseep on her own (in the living room) but still wakes. How can I get her to want to sleep in her crib, and sleep though the night???
Mar 18, 2010
 my 18m boy
by: leapyearean

Hi,
I have an 18m boy. I am having hard time letting hm sleep at night. I and my husband already dimmed the light, and play as if we're sleep just to encourage him to go to bed. He loves playng during night and wakes us up by pulling our hair or biting. Most of the time we end up letting him cry so that later on he can sleep. We don't know what to do. His dctor said it is normal but until when will it last. We are very much concenred as we need to wake up early everyday for work.
May 25, 2010
 19th month old still waking for milk
by: Anonymous

Hi, my 19 month old boy is still waking for milk in the night. He eats his 3 meals a day (although he doesnt eat that much sometimes) and has milk in the morning and before bed. He keeps waking in the night for milk at least twice. Does anyone know what I can do about this? Should I stop him? I know he will be very upsetbut Im not sure if this is ok? Please help me parent experts! Thank you x
Jun 02, 2010
 My Daughter is 20 months
by: Margie

Wow, glad to hear I am not alone...my little on is starting to wake at night... around 2am...for up to 2 hours. When this happens, I lay on her bed with her as she climbs all over me to be sure she has as much of me as she can get. She will settle after 10-15 minutes then start stroking my arm. If I attempt after an hour of this, to put her back in her crib, she screams. Last night at 4am, I gave her a slice of cheese. She went to sleep fussing. I was problem solving. Thinking she was hungry. She does not eat at this time normally. I won't do it again.
Any suggestions.
Jun 22, 2010
 your not alone
by: janine

I also have a 18 month old daughter who frequently wakes threw the night.I have never given her milk threw the night and i could never do the "cry it out"method either.She goes to bed around 7 at night and has had the same bedtime routine since she was born.She stopped napping threw the day months ago so when she goes to bed shes really tired i lay with her for a little bit then leave the room.She never wakes at the same time threw the night and theres no ryme or reason for her waking.Im also at wits end and exshaution.I know this dosent help you any but i wanted to let you know that your not alone.Hang in there girl one things forsure by the time their teenagers im sure we wont have a problem with them sleeping ;)
Jun 23, 2010
 my daughter wakes at least 3 times during the night
by: michelle

my daughter is 16 months old,she goes off to be without any problem at around 8pm she takes a 7oz formual bottle and goes straight asleep in her cot. its after half 10 she begins to wake and will do so around 3 more times through the night.there are so many things i have tried.. like letting her cry it out for a while, giving her no bottle, and leaving the room, staying with her and trying to put her back to sleep, but unless she is giving a bottle of formual she can cry and be hystrical for hours/ i have two other children who must get up early for school and i cannot put her cot in their rooms, the only space is to leave her cot in our room. She will go right back to sleep during the night as long as myself or her dad hand her a bottle, by that stage she has woken both of us. we both have to work and are going into work exsausted!! this is going on all night, and always has since she was born!! any suggestions as to help change this please .. her very tired mammy
Jun 23, 2010
 Cut down slowly
by: Paula (Baby Help Line)

Hi Michelle,

Since this strategy isn't working for you, why not take a while now and give her the bottle as quickly as you can. Prepare measures in the evening. Even heat up water and prepared measures next to your bed and just blend them. Make minimal fuss over it and get it done quickly to get back to sleep. Because that is what you need right now. You can also take turns, so that every second night, one of you take care of the feeding, the other one sleeps with ear plugs.

At the same time, start cutting down on the amount she gets, just a little. By slowly cutting down, she will get less food at night without even noticing, maybe making the transition to no feeding at night easier for her in a couple of months.

Warm wishes,

Paula

Jul 18, 2010
 Not sleeping through after illness
by: Anonymous

Hi, I've read all your comments and so am comforted to know I'm not the only one not sleeping through the night. Our 18 month old generally sleeps through (occasional night waking but easily resettled etc). BUT a bit over a week ago I had her in hospital with pneumonia and she slept on me all night (in a chair). Since then she goes down ok to bed but wakes every sleep cycle (about 60-90mins) and she instantly falls back asleep once in my arms - very sweet but very exhausting. She ends up in our bed (and sleeps a little better with us) but my husband is keen for her to get back into her cot. Any ideas?? I was thinking maybe she just needs time after being ill.

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