THIS Is Love...

by Heidi
(Reston, VA)

My first baby boy, Ben. Ahh, Ben. I had never been so in love. He was truly the most beautiful, most perfect baby in the world. The way he looked, smelled, and felt were like nothing I'd ever experienced. He was a little blond baby who looked like he had a halo over his head. He was a bit colicky, though, and I was so exhausted. More to the point, I was practically psychotic from lack of sleep.

Ben was the typical baby, waking up several times each night crying. Although my husband helped, I got up most of the time. By the fourth week, I thought I would lose my mind. My beautiful, wondrous baby had sapped me of all energy, vision, and personality. I could barely move.

One memorable night at around 3am, he woke me...for about the third time that night. I awoke in a stupor in response to his cry. I went through the motions: feeding him, holding him, comforting him. Then I went to change him as usual. I was so tired and my body was throbbing in a deep ache. I just needed to change him and go back to bed.

Just as I took off his dirty diaper (drum roll, please...) - he pooped. Let me explain. This was not a standard variety poop. It was projectile. It was atomic. It was everywhere. All over him, all over me, all over everything. I was so stunned I couldn't even react. I wanted to cry, but I didn't have the energy. I cleaned and changed him in silence, threw out my nightgown, rolled back into bed, and prayed for a few hours of dreamless sleep.

I awoke the next morning with a smile on my face, eager to tell my husband the story. The turnaround in my perspective was stunning. THIS was true love!!

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