Third Kid At 13+ Months, Wife's Sex Drive At 0

Join Us On Facebook! | CONTACT | BABY BLOG | HOME |

Third Kid At 13+ Months, Wife's Sex Drive At 0

My wife is still breastfeeding our third child at 13+ months. The first 2 kids enjoyed this intimacy with mom for 3+ years and I've never objected to her doing it that long. This time though her sex drive is completely gone. Even when we have a rare opportunity when the kids are all asleep she's not interested. And it's not just having sex, even regular intimacy has virtually disappeared from her repertoire. It's terribly frustrating to me, I love her lots and let her know I still think she looks great. It's starting to affect our relationships and is leading to more frequent fights. HELP!

Comments for
Third Kid At 13+ Months, Wife's Sex Drive At 0

Click here to add your own comments

You arent Alone.
by: Anonymous

Unfortunately I have no suggestions or answers to help, but I am dealing with a very similar situation. I really go out of my way to fulfill my wife's emotional and physical needs and for some reason she just doesn't care about my physical sexual needs, which I think is also an emotional/intimacy need. Its like now I have a roommate or a business partner or some other platonic relationship, not a Wife. And all the crap you read about somehow helping them more with the kids, around the house and letting them sleep more doesn't make a damn bit of difference either, I was doing those things before the libido disappeared and I'm still doing them now, but now I'm starting to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. All I can say is that you are not alone. Good luck Bro.

Comment to the comment
by: Anonymous

How can you be taken advantage of by caring for your own children? They are yours.

Third Kid At 13+ Months, Wife's Sex Drive At 0
by: Anonymous

Stop thinking about yourself! She has three children and is still nursing the last. She has people crawling and climbing and demanding attention from her all day! Just because she isn't in the mood for sex doesn't mean she loves you any less. Sex can sometimes just be another thing "to do." And if you are pressuring her...you are making it worse.

Sex Drive
by: Anonymous

The female sex drive is hindered by the hormones produced in breast-feeding, some worse than others. Advise her to consider your feelings, and that perhaps she needs to discontinue breast-feeding and switch to other forms of feeding (i.e., solid foods, gerber foods, formula). Good luck, I am dealing with a similar situation myself, but we are always villified because we dare to want sex...LOL. What a crime on our part, right?

Sex Drive post pregnancy
by: Anonymous

Comments 2 and 3 were clearly left by females. Thankfully, my wife does not see the way those woman do after having 3 children. She has just had our third, and I can say we struggled with what you are going through for the first two kids. The lack of sex after baby 1 was very trying. Woman don't want sex after a child for the simple fact that the time spent doing the act, is time they could have had doing their own thing. It's almost a chore to them. With baby 2, she compromised after seeing previous results. Quicky Sex was the answer. Since her sex drive was non existent, this kept her interested in sex, and help satisfy me, and didn't take to much time. She had the desire for sex, just not the drive. My wife has just had our 3rd child, and we'll see where we are in 4 weeks. Sex does not define a relationship, and if it does, your priorities are wrong.

My advice...continue doing everything you can to help out. Unless she is flat out doing nothing to help in the house, then you shouldn't feel taken advantage of. The most important thing she will need, is private time. Encourage her to get out of the house alone. My wife likes to read, so I suggest she go to borders and drink a coffee while reading books once a week alone. Your suggestion to do this will go a long way, and hopefully increase her desire for you. Best of luck.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Sex While Breastfeeding

Would other parents find this valuable? Share it!

Where would you like to go next?

Find more Baby Questions Answered Here...

What baby info are you looking for?

Return to Easy Baby Life Home

Join EBL Community!

New Community Members get a FREE Baby Safety Checklist right now.
Don't miss out. Join here!

Want more baby tips?

baby care newsletter Never miss a single baby tip! Get the latest news and tips for your pregnancy and baby with our monthly newsletter.
FREE Baby Care Ezine

Your Email

Your Name

Then

Don't worry -- your e-mail address is totally secure.

For more information about the ezine, click here.