Swaddled And Dependant On Soother

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Swaddled And Dependant On Soother

by Tanis
(Canada)

My 4 month old baby girl is still swaddled and needs a soother to fall asleep. She naps fine this way but at night she gets up every hour and will not settle unless I replace the soother for her. Also around 5:30 am she is very restless and will not go back to sleep unless I am laying beside her and holding the soother in her mouth.

Needless to say I love my baby girl but I am soooo sleep deprived. I want to let her cry it out but I also worry that it will wake up my 2 year old who sleeps in the next room. Do I get rid of swaddle and soother cold turkey at the same time or one at a time...which one first? Help!!

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Swaddled And Dependant On Soother

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Oct 13, 2009

Swaddling and Soothers (Part One)
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi Tanis,

A new baby sure is an exhausting time. I know it is really hard as a Mom to find time to do
everything, particularly when you have an active two year old as well. Sounds like you are
getting stretched pretty thin!

Personally, I am not a big fan of soothers, as soothers are often used as a solution when
really the baby needs something else. Your baby has been well and truly trained not to
settle without a soother.

I also do not recommend letting a baby cry to sleep, or cry until they give up. At this age they are crying to communicate, and you will just end up with a distressed baby (and probably
you will feel terrible too!) A little cry is fine, some babies do a little grumble, but crying into an exhausted sleep is not a good thing for a little one.

So what can you do? I suspect your baby also likes having you beside her. I would try to wean the daytime soother before night-time. She is very used to that being her way of feeling comfortable, and it would be good to help her to feel safe and comfortable without it.

I also think your little one needs lots of contact with you. Babies who are swaddled, feel
secure because it re-creates a womb-like position. But you want your baby to start feeling
safe without having to re-create that, or to learn to self sooth.

I would really recommend you try using a sling for a while during the day so you can still get on and do things and your baby gets used to drifting off close to you, but without the soother or swaddle. If you do need to put her down, try swaddling without the soother in the daytime. I would not take them both away from her at once, nor let her get distressed.

(Part Two Follows)
Annie Desantis

Oct 13, 2009

Swaddling and Soothers - Part Two
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi Tanis,

Part Two Follows:

When she is in her cot, or pram, start to loosen the swaddle, so she still feels the wrap, but is not so constrained.

If she gets used to dozing of to sleep in a sling without the swaddle, she will start dozing off in other ways. Try using the pram in the day and rocking gently. It will require a bit more time and energy from you in the short term, but if you introduce other ways she can get off to sleep you are opening the door for better sleeping in a few weeks.

As she gets older she will kick and wriggle out of the swaddle herself. I know it is exhausting
at the moment, but just remember, no stage lasts for ever! Just start slowly changing to a
different soothing routine - when she settles in a sling with you, without the soother, then try
introducing some quiet music, so she starts to associate that with sleeping. Hard I know
when you are also dividing your time between a 2 year old! But maybe that can be a time you sit quietly with your two year old and read some stories.

Try not to offer the soother at any other time than sleep time, so she starts to communicate
and get other needs met. She may need attention and stimulation and cuddles, or a dry diaper or is going through a hungry phase. In the night, try introducing an extra feed and see if she settles better. She may digest her feeds quickly and need topping up a bit more often.

The other thing, is try to get a break in the weekend with Dad being the soother popper! Even if you can get one night of reasonable sleep you will start to feel a bit easier with it all.

Good luck, don't forget, eventually you will get to sleep the whole night through again!

Annie Desantis

Aug 29, 2011

Getting rid of the soother
by: Paula (Baby Help Line)

Hi Tanis,

A lot of parents work hard to introduce a soother, only to find that it isn't helping either their or their baby's sleep at all.

One should be fair though; a baby will learn to find and pop in the pacifier without your help when a bit older and then of course, the bin´ky can be soothing for the baby.

BUT it certainly won't hurt to take the pacifier away early! If you want directions on how to help your baby fall asleep without the pacifier, read this forum thread.

Hope it helps,

Paula

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