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Submitted by: Baby Help Line - Annie

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Hi Tanis, A new baby sure is an exhausting time. I know it is really hard as a Mom to find time to do everything, particularly when you have an active two year old as well. Sounds like you are getting stretched pretty thin! Personally, I am not a big fan of soothers, as soothers are often used as a solution when really the baby needs something else. Your baby has been well and truly trained not to settle without a soother. I also do not recommend letting a baby cry to sleep, or cry until they give up. At this age they are crying to communicate, and you will just end up with a distressed baby (and probably you will feel terrible too!) A little cry is fine, some babies do a little grumble, but crying into an exhausted sleep is not a good thing for a little one. So what can you do? I suspect your baby also likes having you beside her. I would try to wean the daytime soother before night-time. She is very used to that being her way of feeling comfortable, and it would be good to help her to feel safe and comfortable without it. I also think your little one needs lots of contact with you. Babies who are swaddled, feel secure because it re-creates a womb-like position. But you want your baby to start feeling safe without having to re-create that, or to learn to self sooth. I would really recommend you try using a sling for a while during the day so you can still get on and do things and your baby gets used to drifting off close to you, but without the soother or swaddle. If you do need to put her down, try swaddling without the soother in the daytime. I would not take them both away from her at once, nor let her get distressed. (Part Two Follows) <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/annie-desantis.html">Annie Desantis</a>

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Submitted by: Baby Help Line - Annie

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Hi Tanis, Part Two Follows: When she is in her cot, or pram, start to loosen the swaddle, so she still feels the wrap, but is not so constrained. If she gets used to dozing of to sleep in a sling without the swaddle, she will start dozing off in other ways. Try using the pram in the day and rocking gently. It will require a bit more time and energy from you in the short term, but if you introduce other ways she can get off to sleep you are opening the door for better sleeping in a few weeks. As she gets older she will kick and wriggle out of the swaddle herself. I know it is exhausting at the moment, but just remember, no stage lasts for ever! Just start slowly changing to a different soothing routine - when she settles in a sling with you, without the soother, then try introducing some quiet music, so she starts to associate that with sleeping. Hard I know when you are also dividing your time between a 2 year old! But maybe that can be a time you sit quietly with your two year old and read some stories. Try not to offer the soother at any other time than sleep time, so she starts to communicate and get other needs met. She may need attention and stimulation and cuddles, or a dry diaper or is going through a hungry phase. In the night, try introducing an extra feed and see if she settles better. She may digest her feeds quickly and need topping up a bit more often. The other thing, is try to get a break in the weekend with Dad being the soother popper! Even if you can get one night of reasonable sleep you will start to feel a bit easier with it all. Good luck, don't forget, eventually you will get to sleep the whole night through again! <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/annie-desantis.html">Annie Desantis</a>

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