Screaming Toddler In The Middle Of The Night

by Pamela
(New Albany, IN, USA)

My daughter will be 3 in March and for the last week she has woke up every night between midnight and 4am screaming as loud as she can.

A few nights when I go get her, she screams that she wants to watch the Doodlebops. Other nights she screams she wants to go outside and play. She screams non-stop for a good hour and NOTHING will calm her down.

What can I do?

She has been on a strict routine since she came home from the hospital, so nothing has changed about her daily lifestyle. She goes to bed every night between 8 and 9pm and she still takes a 2-3hr nap every afternoon.

She also talks/walks in her sleep if that makes any difference.

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Screaming Toddler In The Middle Of The Night

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Dec 01, 2008
 Night time screaming
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi Pamela,

Sounds like an exhausting time for you! It is really hard to know what is going on in the minds of our tiny children. Sleep time is the time we process all the events of the day, the time we connect back into our inner wisdom, and dreaming is a really important part of that process. It sounds like your daughter is working pretty hard at night!

It's difficult for me to say what might be underlying it all, and it sounds like you have good routines in place for bedtime etc. Sleep talking and walking are all a part of her brain not quite having the boundaries in place that we
normally do when going to sleep. So it is giving her body messages to partly act out what is happening in her dreams, ie talking, walking somewhere. Apart from keeping her safe - barriers over stairs and locks on the doors for example
- it is not something to be unduly worried about. She may grow out of it, although some adults still sleepwalk!

Regarding the screaming, since her sleeping is so chaotic, when she wakes she is probably trying to gain some power and control. This is actually a good thing however, as a parent you obviously don't want her watching TV or playing outside at night. Nor do you want to have to keep getting up to her.

Talk to her during the day and get her agreement to learn a new way of sleeping. Including her in the process teaches her she can learn self control. Have her choose a power toy that will help her sleep the whole night (it might be a doodlebop if they have toy versions!). Together, come up with a little ritual she and the power toy can do in the night to put her back to sleep. You might be surprised what she comes up with. Giving her a torch can be a useful power tool!

Have a reward system so she gets a gold star, or doodlebug sticker on a chart for every night she puts herself back to sleep. After a week she can
earn something bigger. Expect setbacks, she won't master it all at once. When you do have to go in to her, use the power toy to ask "how would Deedee help you go back to sleep?".

Enjoy your time with her, she will grow out of the night time screaming and you will get a proper night's sleep again!

Annie Desantis


Dec 11, 2008
 midnight screaming
by: Anonymous

My daugther is 3 and half years old and wakes up and screams in the middle of the night almost daily. Nothing seems to calm her down... I'm an inch short of throwing her in a cold shower... I know it won´t calm her but I do hope it makes her tired...

Anyway, the way she screams now, I don't think she can scream any harder while on the shower...

I don't think this power toy thing can help us. During daytime she talks about how she is the mother of a little girl who misbehaves and cries all night... We are worried, and also sick and tired of our daily night show, me especially cause I'm the father, and she yells at me, orders me to leave her room while screaming for mommy.
Dec 24, 2008
 Screaming Toddler In The Middle Of The Night
by: Anonymous

I am going through the exact same thing with my 3 1/2 year old. He wakes up screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason at all other than his glass of water isn't cold enough or the blankets are all worng or he wants to go and play.

I sit there for an hour listening to this and trying to talk to him and nothig works and then he just stops, says sorry and goes back to sleep.
Jun 02, 2009
 same deal
by: maryj

my 3.5 yr old will wake up usually after a bout 2 hours of sleep screaming and shaking....her eyes wide open she will not tell me what is wrong she wont tell me what she wants or needs she just screams with her eyes buggen out its like she is inna scared panic : ( it worries me alot i wonder is it a bad dream or did she sleep on her arm wrong and it fell asleep or what idk : (....i try to hold her and rock her back to sleep but sometimes she wants to smack and hit me
Jun 04, 2009
 Night Terrors?
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi again,

Another possibility is night terrors, which are quite common in 2 - 6 year olds. Children usually grow out of them by aged 8. Night terrors are different from nightmares, in that the child may appear awake, but is not rational, may scream or be frightened but not be consolable. Children don't usually have much recollection of the event the next day except for your disapproval at being woken!

Children with night terrors, often don't recognize their parents, or demand unreasonable or unusual things - like needing to go outside.

There is evidence that children who are not getting enough sleep or if there has been major event in the family (a death, a birth, divorce, moving house etc) are more prone to Night Terrors.

There is no point in trying to wake them or discipline them, just be patient and try to re-assure the child until it is over. For children who have nightly (or more than one!) Terrors, some parents find if they wake the child 15 minutes before it usually happens and keep them awake for a short time, then it can interrupt the pattern.

Good luck, parenting can sometimes be exhausting! But they do grow out of it eventually!
Annie Desantis
Jul 13, 2009
 breaks my heart
by: Anonymous

My little boy(nearly 2) sometimes wakes up screaming and there is nothing me or his father can do about it!He throws his teddy,dummy and anything he can get his hands on! He bites,slaps and pushes anyone who tries to comfort him! We just have to sit and wait for him to calm down(obviously making sure he doesnt hurt himself!) and as a mother who suffered from really bad nightmares and sleep walking as a child(to the point of seeing a child therapist for it!) it breaks my heart that for the 10/15 minutes it takes him to calm down! When he calms down we usually have a cuddle and he falls straight back to sleep!I can totally get what the lady was saying about the child not recognising the parent because my little boy looks right through me and he is such a mommys boy during the day i cant believe that if he wasnt upset he wouldnt want me to comfort him!
Dont get me wrong he is a lovely boy and this doesnt happen all the time! He has always been a off again on again sleeper so we are used to broken noghts sleep!
So good luck i hope it settles down soon!
Aug 24, 2009
 Toddler Wakes Up Crying and Hitting
by: Bob Loblaw

I'm thinking (hoping) my 2 year old is only suffering night terrors too. He sleeps with us and normally sleeps like a rock. Very often, however, he will wake up screaming and crying and is inconsolable. When we try to talk to him or touch him he just screams louder and hits us. Recently, the hitting has come even though we aren't saying ot doing anything. He just wakes up and starts repeatedly slapping his mom or I. The other day, he did this out of nowhere and then went into the bathroom and stood in a corner. I continued to pretend I was asleep and figured he'd come to bed. All of a sudden, he walked back in the room and began spitting at me. All with no provocation. The only thing that seems to break the spell is to sing the Dora the Explorer theme song. This eventually gets through, calms him down, and lulls him back to sleep.

If it helps at all, he's always been very active in his sleep. Even as a baby, he would "sleep crawl" into his crib rails, banging his head repeatedly but not waking up. Once he learned to talk, he began talking and laughing in his sleep. DOes anyone know if these other behaviours: hitting, spitting, and getting out of bed are related to night terrors as well?
Sep 21, 2009
 3.5 yr old girl night terror+ shaking/shivering
by: Scared Dad

My 3.5 year old daughter just woke up shaking,crying, and chattering her teeth, and talking about needing to go into space and other strange gibberish. it scared the hell out of me. she eventually started responding to me,insisting nothing was wrong, and that she didn't eat or drink anything strange but she was still shaking at this point. is this a night terror, or what?
Jan 14, 2010
 screaming 2 and 1/2 years old daughter
by: sisamika

my daughter is 2 and 1/2 years old and she will wake up each and every single night screaming and shouting. we'll bring her to our bed since she shares her bedroom with her 15 months brother and obviously we wouldn't want them both to be awake at 3 in the night. She will keep on screaming for like 2 hours in a row and constantly asking to go out of our room to the sitting room, there's absolutely no way of making her come back to bed, no cuddling, no soothing, we've even tried getting angry with her, nothing will do and the neighbours keep asking us if everything is all right. I don't need to say that we're exhausted and my husband has to wake up at 6.30 every morning. we're going crazy and honestly fear for her lungs (she screams so hard it's ear breaking). any solutions anyone???
Feb 10, 2010
 might help
by: Anonymous

we have went through this with our 4 yr old just recently and about a yr ago. we tried everything and I'm pretty sure its the medication she is on. she has allergies and we put her on zyrtec. she became a horror. screaming with rapid mood swings. we took her off of it and she was back to normal. then in November the doctor put her on singular and she was ok on it for a little while. now she is acting the same and we are taking her off of that too. so if anyone is having these problems look at any medications they take. if you look side effects up on any of these two drugs it will scare you to death.
Feb 18, 2010
 Does anyone have a idea why this is going on?
by: jaimies

It's 'nice' (in a strange sense of the word) to see that we are not the only people going through this, but sad to see no one has any insight into this. Our 2 yr old DD does the same thing. She will wake up screaming for Mommy or Daddy, but when we go in to console her she bursts into a fit of rage...throwing anything in arms reach, biting, screaming, pinching, and screaming while sobbing. Trying to console her just fuels the flame. I try to hold and rock her as she flails about until she's too tired to keep going. By that time she just wants to cuddle and be held. During the daytime she does have similar fits. We are at our wits end.....
Mar 04, 2010
 Veteran mom of night terrors
by: mommy of 2

sounds like your kids are having night terrors. my daughter had them almost every night for almost one year...i nursed her thru them so i wouldn't wake up the whole house....then when i weaned her (after I thought my boobs would fall off), the terrors got worse. we actually taped one for evidence in case a neighbor called to report us to social services as she would scream, "stop it mommy. no! no!" as she sat up in bed screaming. it broke my heart to see her and hear her. the best cure is make sure their sleep routine is kept and that they are getting enough sleep. anytime we changed her bedtime or put her down late, she would get one about an hour or two after we put her down. my doctor was such an idiot, he told me she was just strong willed. then when i figured out it was night terrors, (by researching on the internet), he told me I should take her to a psychiatrist, bcuz she must have witnessed something violent in our home. What an idiot!! That is NOT what causes sleep terrors in toddlers. It has to do with them not being able to transition out of REM cycle, and so when they wake up they are really still asleep. It is soooooo hard to deal with. My heart goes out to you who are dealing with this. My daughter outgrew them by 3 and a half and only has them a couple times a year now. there were nights I thought I would lose my mind. Be strong and hang in there...it won't last forever!!
Mar 27, 2010
 sleeping is no option
by: jackie

my Grandson is 2 years old and poor baby wakes up in the middle of the night crying and screaming to the top of his lungs. the first hour or so he fights with his blankets and throws his pillow or his sippy cup. just to only scream louder because he done it. he kicks and points to things that he seems to want, but when i give them to him. he doesn't want it anymore. so after that phase. he then on to wanting me to hold him, i try to put he pushes me away.but when back of he screams out, an wants me to pick him up. at the beginning of this out burst i dont think he knows what hes doing witch i think might be night terrors.but like i said after hour or so of doing this he knows who i am and what hes doing he can see me and follow me holds his arms out and knows what i'm saying this last for another hour or so. now hes fully awake wanting to get up and play or something but when i let him go he sits down on the floor kicking and screaming and the process starts all over again,he has done this for over 3 weeks now every night i can rest a sure hes going to start screaming and thrashing his perents are near by also but he responds to me the best when he goes through this what ever it it is.

Sometimes i think he just spoiled and wants his way. At first i think he is really having night terrors but after a while he s fully awake and wants to do his own thing .. I don't know what to do for him. help me please. granny lost in iowa
Mar 29, 2010
 OMG me too!
by: Bernie

My little man turned 2 in January and has been doing this on and off for the last six months or so. I thought it was trapped wind, he always looked like he was in pain. I wish I could put my finger on what it was. It could be trapped wind, night terrors, he's also cutting molars at the moment. So how do you know which one is causing it.

He too is inconsolable, goes rigid like a board if you try to pick him up. Kicks and screams, even throws himself on the floor if I try to put him on the couch with me. Asks for me if Dad comes to help, but then when I go to him, he says no, no, no. Throws his beloved ruggie and his bottle of milk which used to help settle him. Sometimes the crying can last for 40 minutes.

Is it possible for them to get these terror things through the day? I experienced one in the day for the first time today. He went down for his nap really late today at 2.15pm (he normally goes down at about 12ish but I've been having massive troubles settling him in the day) and I went to wake him at 4pm and it all started.

I hate that I can't help him. I just have to sit there and watch him look like he's in pain :(
Mar 30, 2010
 How early can night terrors start?
by: Michelle

My daughter is 19 months old, and whilst she's never been a great sleeper, the last week or so she has been waking through the night in an angry and hysterical state. I cant calm her in the cot and when I pick her, she cracks it, screams louder, wont let me comfort her and goes rigid. If I put her on the floor she flails around screaming hysterically. The only thing that seems to work is distracting her with a book. She then calms and tends to fall asleep with me holding her. Could these be night terrors? Is it teething? I'm at my wit's end!! A week or so of broken sleep is starting to take its toll.

It's been helpful reading other people's experiences and I'm glad I'm not alone. Certainly doesnt make it any easier though.
Apr 04, 2010
 reassuring
by: Anonymous

its reassuring to see all these comments, my 2.5 yr old woke last night with all these symptoms described, screaming the place down, eyes wide with rage and anger and hitting out at me at every opportunity. When I tried to comfort or touch in anyway it got worse and everything offered was thrown to the floor and then screamed he wanted it then when offered screamed that he didn't want it, seemed very confused and almost possessed and despite actively trying to hit me, if I tried leaving the room he yelled out for me in distress. It was the most frightening thing and I cant believe some people have to deal with this on a nightly basis.
He has been a good sleeper for a long time and this has only happened once before when he'd been ill with a high fever for a few days and sleep pattern and general routine was disturbed anyway, told gp and they didnt say anything about night terrors but i do remember reading about them a while back.
This past week we had been away and his routine was disturbed and he got much less sleep than usual and had a cold so I am hoping this is what brought it on and that keeping to routines will help avoid these scary attacks.
Apr 05, 2010
 night terrors??
by: Anonymous

OH wow its like reading my own recent life story here. My son, 26 months has been 'waking' at night for the last 2 weeks and is completely inconsolable. He screams, bites, pinches,kicks, asks for things like snacks and to go play and then changes his mind. The only thing I can think of that triggered this is that he was very sick the 4-5 days prior and wasn't sleeping because he was stuffed up. Lack of sleep does strange things to people I suppose but this is just frightening. I am sure he is not fully awake but now he is so tired during the day due to this that he is unbearable. Any advice folks?
Apr 07, 2010
 anyone try melatonin?
by: SleeplessInSeattle

We're going through the same thing. My little boy (31 mos) has been doing this since he was little more than 1 yr. He was NEVER a good sleeper- in fact, I don't think we've ever gotten more than a 5 hr stretch out of him, and that's pretty rare. But not only does he wake up about 2-3 hrs after going to bed, kicking, screaming, beating his head on the wall (even screams "help me, daddy!!!"), sitting up in bed, thrashing, and finally walking to another room.....but he does it multiple times at night to where we're getting MAYBE 1-2 hours sleep in any given stretch after the first 2-3 hours!!!! We're beyond feeling bad for the child. When I talk about this, people typically express their concern as: "Oh, the poor baby sounds so scared." And I'm thinking, "You don't GET IT!!! My husband and I have to go to work. We have to act like we can think! The worst part is that I have turned positively crazy during these awakenings. It's like torture. I have yelled and screamed myself. In fact, my husband and I have had a million fights at 3 am in the last couple of years. Someone is ALWAYS on the couch and that person doesn't necessarily sleep any better- they just don't have to attend to the child as much (who ends up in our bed without fail). I am beyond "wit's end," believe me. Our naturopath has the boy on Melissa Supreme (Gaia Herbs) for kids, we've tried all of the Calms Forte and chamomile and valerian, etc, but all these treatments affect is the quality of the first stretch of sleep. So he'll sleep a little deeper that first couple of hours (did I mention that this kid is the lightest sleeper on the face of the planet?) but wakes up just as many times at night. And no, he's not hungry, and yes, he naps during the day and THERE'S NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY GOING ON IN HIS LIFE.
Help.
Apr 07, 2010
 Me again!
by: Bernie

I was talking to my hairdresser on the weekend and she was telling me how her kids have done the same thing, she also told me it gets worse before it gets better....sigh.

She also mentioned that the chiropractor might help as that it helped minimize her little one's episodes.

I can't believe there are some of you that have a few a night and have to function and work the next day, that must be so awful. I know how I am after a few rough nights, but that constant broken sleep is just torture. It can lead to depression and just affect everything in your life. You sound like you need some respite. Does your little one sleep in the day? I know my man seems to have them more when he skips his naps or has them too late.

I wish I could help more :(
Apr 17, 2010
 screaming toddler me too has one!
by: cassie

My daughter is 3 and has a screaming outburst which can last 25mins at a time, normally between 11pm and 3am. Yes she wakes up screaming, demanding a bottle but wont take it, yells out GO AWAY, wants mum then wants dad etc, her eyes roll back like shes possessed hey. very scary. When she does stop and settle we asked what was wrong she wont talk about it, She has people in her room we cant see, not sure if spirits or not? Please help me with advise.
Apr 19, 2010
 Night terrors
by: Paula (Baby Help Line)

Hi Cassie,

It sounds like you daughter is having night terrors. They are quite common for children between 2 and 6 years. It can be very scary for the parents or caregivers, btu the children usually don't remember any of it afterwards. Night terrors are similar to nightmares, so your daguther might very well be "seing" people et cetera, but she is not awake, even if her eyes are open. She really is dreaming. The difficult thing with night terrors is that it is very hard to wake the child up. It is usually better to try to stay calm and comfort the child as much as possible without trying to wake him or her up.

Most children grow out of night terrors. One thng you can try is to really make sure that your daughter gets enough sleep - night terrors seem to some extent to be related to the child being over tired. Another possibility is to wake your child up before the time that the terrors usually start, to disturb the sleep cycle and hence prevent the night terrors.

If you find that the terrors are very frquent and it doesn't help to for example put your child to bed a little bit earlier and/or wake her up slightly, discuss the matter with your child's Dr or health nurse.

Above all, don't be afraid that there is something wrong with your daughter! She is not crazy or possessed!

Warm wishes,

Paula
Apr 26, 2010
 Not mine but neighbours
by: Peter Hobbs

Is this behaviour unstoppable/untreatable? My neighbour's 20-monthold has been waking screaming 95% of the time at 5am for the last 8 months. His screams are heard through 3 brick walls. Parents say they have tried everything including putting him to be as later as 7.30pm, but nothing works.

My wife now wants us to move as our sleep is so badly disrupted it is affecting her health. Our 4 children never did anything like this, so it's not that I'm not sympathetic, but simply have no knowledge of this sort of thing.

Should we move or will the screaming stop?

Jun 29, 2010
 Night Terrors
by: Anonymous

Our 3 1/2 yr old has been having night terrors for about a year now. Seems to happen most commonly after having a busy day with a super late nap. She's over tired with her sleep routine out of norm. Generally just a few times each month about 2 hours after falling asleep. It lasts for 15-30 minutes. She screams with a look like she's in pain, is inconsolable, stiffens her body, kicks, throws whatever is near...even her cherished woobie, cries, yells at me...telling me to go away, but then doesn't want me to leave. It's like she's confused and doesn't know what she wants or how to communicate what she feels.. Sometimes she talks jibberish. After awhile I'll say 'you wanna be in mommies lap' and she'll shake her head yes and let me rock her....still while crying. Totally breaks my heart. Her doc says it's best to wait it out instead of trying to wake them up that waking them can make it worse, especially if the parent is freaking out and that the child doesn't remember night terrors like they do nightmares. Just be patient and make sure they don't hurt themselves. Also that night terrors usually happens closer to going to bed than getting up. Good luck with your little ones. This too shall pass.
Jul 20, 2010
 4 year old daughter and i think "night terrors"
by: Anonymous

my daughter started waking up in the middle of the night about 6 months ago. she started out waking up and screaming for mommie. i would go in her room and try to calm her down. the first time it scared me because she just continued to cry and scream for me though i was right next to her. well tonight she woke up crying as i thought it was her 1 year old sister. no sooner did i get up to go get her my 4 year old started screaming no, no, no, on and on. she came out of her room and into the living room and just stared at me. i asked her if she was ok, she didnt answer me just came and hugged me. i let her lay on the couch and started to put a movie in for her. she lay there with her eyes as big as they could get just staring through me. i kept trying to talk to her and she didnt respond. finally she snapped out of it and asked me for a popsicle. her sister has a dr apointment tomorrow so i am going to go ahead and talk to her about it. but the only thing i can think of because she is not on any medication at all, is possibly night terrors. she starts school next month, we moved a month ago, and her biological father started coming around about a year ago. so good luck to everyone i know what you are going through. and if anyone knows of anything else that could be wrong let me know.
Aug 05, 2010
 Same Time Every Night
by: Anonymous

My 13mo daughter wakes up screaming/crying the same time every night. Sometimes there is a weekly shift (12:30, now 1:30), but it will be the same time until that next shift. Some nights it is the same as most other posts - she seems to not recognize us and fights us. Usually she will calm down after she seems to recognize our singing, like the poster about the Dora song. Other times, though, she's standing in her crib crying so loudly like she's scared and wants us to rescue her. We have tried the cry-it-out technique after checking on her, but she can go 45 minutes! The doctor is not much help. We have asked numerous times about her sleeping issues and keep getting told that it's all normal.
Aug 09, 2010
 Screams in the night.
by: Anonymous

My 2 year old twins wake up quite frequently, One is usually pointing at the closet, wall, or under her sisters bed.. meanwhile her sister is sitting up screaming at the top of her lungs, we don't know what to do?? We can't get any sleep cause I keep thinking there's someone in there room or something, they go to bed every night at 9pm they take naps at 1pm... there on a schedule. I make sure windows are locked and the closet door is closed and now i'm even looking under there beds but enough is enough i'm going to drive my self crazy thinking about this everynight... please help!!
Aug 11, 2010
 About to go insane......
by: Lynn

My daughter just turned 3 in June. For the past 6-8 months she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night roughly 3 or 4 times a week. She's always been very stronge willed and is used to getting her own way...youngest child and youngest grandchild. She does have temper tantrums during the day but I can usually get through to her or console her. When she wakes up in the night she screams as loud as humanly possible, hits, throws herself on the floor, tells me she hates me, refuses to be touched (cuddled/hugged), refuses her sippy cup (she always has during the night), breaks things etc.. 'Night Terrors' did cross my mind but she doesn't seem scared...just really angry for no reason. I am relieved to see I'm not the only parent that seems to be going through this. My other child never did this. She'd have bad dreams once in awhile but I could comfort her..there doesn't seem to be anything I can do this time.
Aug 11, 2010
 Disturb her..?
by: Baby Help Line (Paula)

Hi Lynn,

You probably already tried this, but if not, try disturbing her a bit just before the time she usually starts screaming (if it tends to occur at a specific time at night). You don't have to wake her up completely, just get her off her current sleep cycle.

It isn't certain to help, but possible, so maybe worth a try.

You can also experiment with putting her to bed slightly earlier, since night terrors some times seem to be related to children being over tired when they go to sleep. That is definitely the case with my almost four year old son, who does exactly the same as your daughter but only after a nap at days when I know he really is exhausted.

Best, Paula

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