Screaming 13 Months Old

by Paige
(Moncton, NB, Canada)

My 13 month old daughter screams bloody murder when she gets in trouble or isn't allowed to do something she wants. Sometimes it is as simple as she falls down and she starts to scream.

We don't know what to do to stop this. It's to the point now where by the time she goes to bed me and my boyfriend are so tiered and cranky ourselves that we don't enjoy the time we have at night together.

Is there anything we can do to stop this?

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Screaming 13 Months Old

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Apr 16, 2009
13 Month Screaming
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi Paige,

You are getting to the stage in your daughter's life where she is keen to experiment and get stuck into everything. However she has no understanding of being in trouble and is not being naughty. She knows you are cross with her, but she simply can't understand why she is being stopped from doing what she wants and can't communicate clearly and so the best thing to do is make lots of noise!

She may be learning that she gets lots of attention when she screams and cries so that is being reinforced. It is a good idea to make sure she is getting lots of fun attention when she is NOT crying or screaming. If she has a fall, then don't make a big fuss about it, just try to distract her by drawing her attention to something else. Obviously if she is hurt she needs a cuddle and reassurance but play it down a bit.

Distraction is the best way of dealing with children this age. The world is opening up for her, she is probably fairly mobile and will have a clear idea of what she wants. But you are expecting too much from her to understand why she can't do something and to accept it happily.

Bedtime needs to be a fun quiet cuddly routine, so it is something she looks forward to, if you make it a battleground you all end up unhappy.

It is really hard with a baby to get time with your partner, by the time baby settles you are both exhausted. Do you have anyone who can take her overnight so you can have a night out and some time just with the two of you. Or during the day in the weekend, can someone babysit (preferably at their place!) and you can have a romantic afternoon in bed or go out to lunch somewhere nice.

Once you have a family it takes a lot more work, energy and creativity to find time to just be together as a couple. Preschoolers are demanding and exhausting, but it is such a special time, they are changing every day, so make the most of it, and try to have fun in as many ways as possible.

Wishing you Joy with your little girl,

Annie Desantis

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