No Baby Blues but, Hubby Blues

No Baby Blues but, Hubby Blues

by Jennifer D.
(Jacksonville, NC, USA)

Oh, where do I start. Oh yeah, the baby came. Ever since Dad volunteered to move from the bedroom to the couch; (because he can't stand baby noises at night, especially crys), he's forgotten what its like to be with baby. So, his sympathies are nill and he thinks I'm intentionally dissin' him sexually. Funny, whenever he's tired from work...he doesn't want sex. However he says "it's your job to put-out for your husband." ....really, thought that was called prostitution? First off if I'm not in the mood, he'll obviously feel the vibe and get even more pissed then start a downward spiral of negativity; wondering if he's not big enough..etc. I wish he'd try to put himself in my shoes.

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No Baby Blues but, Hubby Blues

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Understand that you're angry
by: Paula

Maybe he should be put in your shoes... Why not suggest he attends to your baby at night for a week?

Seriously.

You become less exhausted and - who knows - more in the mood, and he gets a little bit of feeling for what it is like to never get to sleep properly.

I hear how angry you are and I can surely understand it. But it is a very, very common situation. Probably more common than not among new parents. And it puts a strain on the relationship right when you thought you were going to be the happiest ever.

It is hard. For the men too, actually. ;-)

Have the two of you considered getting professional help? Maybe not only to get the sex life going, but to be able to talk to each other about it as a start?

As a new mom it is almost impossible to understand how the man can NOT realise how incredibly exhausting it is to attend to a baby around the clock. And how much it affects the libido, energy levels, even the ability to think straight and remember things some times.

And the men, well obviously they are not in our shoes... And they are frustrated, lonely, confused and don't feel loved. Seriously.

It is not so easy to meet and understand each other then.

Do consider getting help. Or at least ask your hubby (when you are friends) to read this article and the stories here by other women.

You are not alone! Neither of you.

I really, really wish you good luck!

Big hug,

Paula

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Submitted by: Paula

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Maybe he should be put in your shoes... Why not suggest he attends to your baby at night for a week? Seriously. You become less exhausted and - who knows - more in the mood, and he gets a little bit of feeling for what it is like to never get to sleep properly. I hear how angry you are and I can surely understand it. But it is a very, very common situation. Probably more common than not among new parents. And it puts a strain on the relationship right when you thought you were going to be the happiest ever. It is hard. For the men too, actually. ;-) Have the two of you considered getting professional help? Maybe not only to get the sex life going, but to be able to talk to each other about it as a start? As a new mom it is almost impossible to understand how the man can NOT realise how incredibly exhausting it is to attend to a baby around the clock. And how much it affects the libido, energy levels, even the ability to think straight and remember things some times. And the men, well obviously they are not in our shoes... And they are frustrated, lonely, confused and don't feel loved. Seriously. It is not so easy to meet and understand each other then. Do consider getting help. Or at least ask your hubby (when you are friends) to read this article and the stories here by other women. You are not alone! Neither of you. I really, really wish you good luck! Big hug, Paula

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