My Husband Is Wonderful, But I Don't Want To Be Intimate Right Now

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My Husband Is Wonderful, But I Don't Want To Be Intimate Right Now

by m
(cleveland ohio)

I feel so unattractive, my body looks like it belongs to someone elses, nothing about it is recognizable from what it was before my pregnancy. when I was pregnant I felt beautiful. Before I was pregnant I felt sexy. Now I am ashamed to say that sometimes I feel disgusted.

But my husband just can't get enough of me. He is patient and respectful, but has the sex drive of a junior in high school. Even before I was pregnant he wasn't this interested in me. I honestly can't see what it is. I just don't see what he sees, but he acts like I am some kind of goddess.

I miss our intimacy, but I just can't seem to get my head into the game. I feel like I am constantly distracted and I dread being alone with him in fear that i will have to reject him. Sometimes when we make love, I enjoy it, but usually I do it because I love him and I want his needs to be met. I know that he needs to feel loved and desired. I know that he needs to feel like he hasn't been replaced by our baby.

I know that things will get better. I know that I will want him again. I am working to get my old body back- or rather my new boxy better. I know that will help me feel more attractive. Really, I feel like this will get better as my hormones get back to normal. I don't feel like myself in so many ways. I just hope that my wonderful husband will continue to be patient and still be crazy about me when this period passes.

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My Husband Is Wonderful, But I Don't Want To Be Intimate Right Now

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Your body and hormones
by: Paula

Hi M,

Yes, it can be quite difficult to accept the post pregnancy body changes for sure! We all have to deal with them, but of course the changes are more dramatic for some women.

If you are not too exhausted, breastfeeding is actually quite a good time to take the opportunity to lose some weight, since the breastfeeding itself requires a lot of energy.

Your post pregnancy breasts will take around 6 months to improve (after weaning from breastfeeding), any linea nigra will disappear within 4 months usually and stretch marks at least will become less apparent over time.

But unfortunately, accepting your new appearance is also part of being a new mom. And it can be so hard! But really, fix what you can and love the rest is the least painful way to go.

Warm wishes,

Paula

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