My Baby Doesn't Want To Go To Me

by Ang
(fallbrook ca)

My daughter is 9 months and wants nothing to do with me. She wants her dad and brother and sister but not me.

I am a stay at home mom; you would think I would be all that she wants, but that is not the case.

What have I done wrong? I do everything for her all the time. It breaks my heart.

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Baby Help Line:

Tips When Independent 9 Month Old Doesn't Want Mom

Your little girl is at the age where the world is opening up, she is probably getting mobile and it is wonderful that she has the confidence to go to other people. Many Moms are so relieved to be able to pass their baby onto someone else for a bit of a break so make the most of it!

You are obviously a very dedicated Mother, and are the main caregiver for your baby. But remember, she has you all day, and when someone new comes home it is so exciting. Other people have different tones of voice, and talk excitedly when they arrive home, and your baby is clearly stimulated by this.

Babies also love other children and are captivated by them. The advantage younger siblings have is the stimulation of older brothers and sisters. Don't see this as a personal thing about you, you are not in competition for her attention.

As the parent it is your job to encourage her to learn to relate to many different people. A baby is not here to fill our needs. Your little girl has obviously got such a lovely start with her Mom that she is keen to relate to others and that is great thing. It is not good for her to only want attention from you, she needs to learn to relate and learn from all sorts of people.

When you do have time alone with her, then play games with her, like peek-a-boo, nursery rhymes, clapping games etc. You can find tips on games to play with a 9 month old here.

Moms are often busy with the day to day chores of parenting, and don't get so much of the fun times. So make sure you make the most of your time alone with her and do your chores when the others are home and can take over watching the baby.

Most of all, just enjoy her, don't be jealous of her interest in other people, it shows you have given her a great start in life.

all the best,
Annie Desantis

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