What if a 21-month-old toddler is not yet talking, throws tantrums and is rolling eyes… Can this really be normal? Let’s break down these different behaviors.
Question:
I have a question about when a toddler is not talking, is rolling eyes and has tantrums…
My nephew, who is a 21 months toddler is still not talking at all. He also recently has started to roll his eyes and has terrible temper tantrums.
I am really concerned about him as even the nursery commented on his eye rolling. I have mentioned it to my sister, but she says there is nothing the matter and he is fine.
Do you think there is reason for me to be concerned?
Thanks
Toddler is Not Talking, Rolling Eyes and Have Tantrums -Normal?
I understand that you are concerned and before commenting on the specific situation I want to say two things.
First of all, doctors often say that the one person that really knows if something is wrong with a baby or a young toddler is MOM.
Why?
Because she is usually the one who spends the most time with the baby and knows him or her the best. So if your sister says that her son is fine, chances are he really is.
Secondly, I’m not a doctor. And even if I was, trying to give medical advice online would be a really bad idea, I think.
Still, I want to share a few thoughts on the situation. I think it can be helpful to look at each of this behaviors one by one.
Not Talking at 21-Month-Old
Regarding the todlder not talking at 21 months old, that doesn’t have to mean anything. Does he understand words at all? At around 18 months of age, at least in some countries, there is a health checkup at which the parents are asked if the toddler can say 10 words. It may not be an issue if the 18-month-old does not actually say ten words, but not speaking at all may indicate a delay.
So if your nephew really says nothing, understands nothing and takes no part in the spoken family interaction at all, it could indicate a hearing or a developmental problem.
Here is a Q&A with another 21-month-old baby that doesn’t talk. It includes speech development milestones to look for and warning signs that the verbal development needs to be followed up.
Toddler Tantrums – Normal or Not?
Regarding the tantrums – what does he do?
If he yells, cries, kicks, tries to bite etc when not getting his way, it is completely normal. At the age of 1.5 to 2 years, however, many babies are still quite easily distracted and thereby calmed. But that varies. You can read more about toddler tantrums here.
Here are some tips on how to deal with toddler tantrums without losing your own temper.
Eye-rolling in Toddlers
The one thing that that seems the most urgent to check-up is that the toddler is rolling his eyes. Again, even though some babies do this because they can or because they are tired, I think it is advisable to talk to a doctor to rule out any illness. Does he do the eye-rolling when he is frustrated or just randomly? Does it appear to be done intentionally?
If your sister decides that she wants to talk to a doctor, then filming the boy while rolling his eyes is probably a good way to get relevant help from a pediatrician.
Here is another Q&A about babies that roll their eyes and what the reason might be.
So, to conclude, taken one by one, the eye-rolling and probably also the talking would be good to check up. Tantrums are most likely just part of his age. However, if looking at these three behaviors as possibly related, they could also indicate autism spectrum disorder. (ASD).
I do understand how difficult when it is your sister and not you who decides on whether to talk to a doctor or not. I you continue to find the situation truly worrying, try to approach your sister soon again. If your nephew needs medical intervention, sooner is of course better.
I hope this helps,
Paula
Add your comments below.
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
You have to be careful on how you approach your sister with regards to her little boy, bearing in mind that she loves him more than anything & will fight for what she believes is the best for him.
However, sometimes mums do suffer from denial & seem to not want to admit that there may be a cause for concern.
What you should bear in mind is the fact that the nursery staff deal with & have dealt with a lot of kids, so if they are making comment or expressing concern maybe your sister should have a chat with her health visitor?