Getting Baby To Sleep

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Getting Baby To Sleep

by Isabel
(Sydney Australia)

My baby is 7 months old and still won't fall asleep by himself and still wakes 2 to 3 times through the night.

I have to lie him in my bed and rub his head or back until he drifts off, however this takes me forever and its a struggle every time. He kicks and grabs me he just cannot relax. This is why I cant sleep him in his own cot as he just wont relax and he never gets there.

I have tried playing his music box (used to work) and I have the cot leg rockers (lullabub) which also don't work anymore.

When he is really tired he gets wingy, he fights me with everything so then I have to try sleep him in my arms. I have to hold him really hard to keep him from struggling until he eventually falls asleep. This is so difficult cause I feel awful that I have to hold him so tightly while he screams hysterically until he settles.

Sometimes he falls back to sleep when I feed him through the night.

What is my first step to stop this habit...

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Getting Baby To Sleep

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Mar 28, 2010

Getting Baby To Sleep - Part One
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi Isabel,

Getting babies to sleep is one of the most common things parents struggle with, myself included!
I simply could not let a baby cry itself to sleep, it was too traumatic for us both. My daughter finally did it herself at about 11 months, just before I was due to give birth to her brother. Thank goodness!

Some parents choose to co-sleep with their babies and decide to accept that they both get more sleep by not setting up any struggle over sleep issues. For other parents this would be too intrusive into the adult bed. You can learn about safe co-sleeping here.

If you want to follow any of the sleep training methods you have to be absolutely committed to seeing it through or you are just reinforcing that you will give in if he cries enough. He is still fairly young to be left to cry to sleep, but you can certainly start to develop bedtime routines that wean him off being so dependent on you.

Setting up routines now, also sets the scene for when he is older. So making sure after dinner is quiet time, maybe a bath, lots of cuddles and a story, no excited games, and no TV.

If you decide you are going to see it through so he stays in his cot once you have put him to bed, you can start doing the story in his cot. Have him all ready for bed, has had his final feed etc and lots of cuddles, then tuck him in his cot with his favorite cuddly toy. Read a story quietly or sing quiet nursery rhymes. Just quietly say nite nite, or bedtime or whatever words you use. Keep the lights low, and your tone of voice quiet and calm.

That is the key, if you get tense and frustrated and upset, there is no way he is going to be able to go to sleep. Even if he is fighting and clambering to get out, just stay calm and quiet. Decide what you are going to say as your bedtime routine, and any ritual sleepy routine, like patting or stroking. My husband used to stroke over the eyes of his children when they were little murmuring a little sleep song. What ever you choose, do it every night so it is always associated with bedtime, and also in the day for his naps.

Part Two Follows . . . . .

Mar 28, 2010

Getting Baby To Sleep - Part Two
by: Anonymous

Part Two . . . .

If you want to go the whole hog with sleep training, some people advocate you do NOT go back in, you let them cry to sleep, as long as it takes. I think at his age that is a bit too traumatic, so a gentler option is you can leave the room and wait 5 mins and if he has not settled, you can go back in and repeat the words, quietly and calmly, but DO NOT pick him up. If you are not ready to leave him crying, then just sit quietly in his room, so he knows you are there, but he gets used to having to stay in his cot. Every now and then say the sleepy words quietly, don't make eye contact, and just keep calm.

The choice has to be what suits you and your family. If you decide to put something into practice then you have to follow it through. Since he is already screaming in your arms, I think moving to the cot stage with you in the room will be a start. That way you opt out of the physically fighting him to make him sleep. Bedtime has become a battle ground, and you want to change that to be a lovely gentle quiet routine that he eventually looks forward to.

It is hard to implement something when a child is distressed, and you will have to focus on not getting upset yourself. You being frustrated and irritated just makes it worse. You will have to prepare yourself for a few nights of very disturbed sleep, since he is still waking in the night. Make sure you have a comfy chair in his room to feed him from and then repeat the same bedtime routine (minus the story!). If you can, change and feed him without putting on any bright lights, as that will wake him up more.

By the way, check through the baby sleep tips on this website, we have a lot of tips about getting babies to sleep.

Good luck, eventually you will get more sleep, he won't be wanting you to pat him to sleep when he is 16!

Annie Desantis

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