Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting in a nutshell? Maximize close body contact, make it fun, keep life as simple as possible while you have a baby in the house.

William Sears was the paediatrician who is known for recommending attachment parenting, but this kind of parenting has been around for ever! Often referred to as Natural or Instinctive Parenting, most indigenous cultures raise their babies this way.

Babies need attachment to develop into normal healthy children.

Heart breaking studies done in orphanages in war torn countries has shown the terrible effects of babies who have not had a significant adult to cuddle and make eye contact and connect with them. There is a lot more to raising a baby than just feeding and changing a diaper.

Attacment Parenting And Babies

• How does it work?
• Skin contact
• Trust your instincts
• The first five years
• Find your own ways
• More support

How does it work?

Attachment Parenting works on the basis that babies need constant physical contact preferably skin to skin with very young or premature babies. Babies who have been raised this way are calmer, happier, and it is believed grow up to be more sensitive and empathetic as adults. Families that raise their children using many of the ideals, report far less conflict in the family and more co-operative behaviour.

When you think about it your little baby has been tucked up inside Mom's tummy for nine months, listening to her heart beat, hearing her tummy gurgles, talking, Dad's voice, music etc. Then out she pops which in itself can be a bit traumatic - and are suddenly expected to be perfectly happy on her own with just feeding and cuddling every few hours. Wouldn't you miss the safety and comfort?

Skin contact

So the idea behind attachment parenting is that as much as possible the parents re-create the close body contact for baby. In Australia (where I live) many hospitals are now using kangaroo care for premature babies - so Mom or Dad tuck baby under their t-shirt on their skin. Baby can still be monitored but in most cases these babies do far better than babies stuck in a humi-crib on their own. Babies cared for in this way maintain body temperature better, and have fewer infections, and gain body weight quicker.

Trust your instincts

As a parent coach, many of the problems I see with young Moms and Dads, is often caused because they are not trusting in themselves and tuning into their baby. Well meaning parents and friends bombard new parents with advice and questions - the most common being, is your baby sleeping through the night yet? Babies are not designed to sleep through the night! Their little tummies need topping up, they need cuddles and comfort to build a secure base to grow from.

The first five years

My experience with many many babies and children has shown that babies who thrive and are happy and contented, are most often with parents that very connected and chilled out. They are often choosing to put their baby first, rather than expecting baby to just fit in. Of course pretty much all parents love their children and want them to thrive and grow to be successful happy adults. But most parents totally underestimate the importance of the early years.

The first 5 years of a child's life has more impact than any other stage. If you can gently tell well meaning friends to keep their advice to themselves, and tune in to your little one, I guarantee you will have a happier more settled baby. Relaxing and learning to trust your own instincts is really important.

Every family has to find what works for you, and for some parents it is too hard to do the 24 hour total body contact. However, as a general guide, the younger the baby, the more close contact they need. Every baby is different and has different needs so being tuned in to your baby will make it easier all round.

In the first few weeks, it is easier for Mom or Dad, or maybe Grandma to be cuddling baby all the time. Once Dad goes back to work it may be a bit harder for Mom to manage, but mostly babies are more settled in a sling anyway, so you can still get on and do chores etc with your little one tucked up in a baby wrap or sling.

Many parents are wary of co-sleeping with their infants but you can pop them up at the head of the bed with a pillow barrier and could sleep with a hand resting on baby ready to do a little comfort pat when necessary. There are special 3 sided cribs that connect to the bed, so Baby is very close but in her own section. If you are not happy having baby in bed then for the first few months maybe have her close by the bed so she can feel your presence.

Our western ideas that we sleep apart and alone, and putting babies in cots is a fairly recent notion. It wasn't all that long ago, that whole families slept in the same bed! Babies were carried by older siblings or elderly parents lived in the same house so there was always an extra pair of arms to cuddle baby. Our way of life now, means Mom and Dad are often the only care givers for a new baby.

Find your own ways

The degree to which you use attachment parenting has to work for your family, but I would highly recommend you find our more about it, and follow the ideas as much as is practical. If you are a working Mom, you will need to find ways to maximize close contact with your little one when you are together. Many working parents hire a nanny who is happy to be a baby wearer! The key is being flexible and going with the flow. If you are caught up in "shoulds" and "ought tos" you are going to make life more stressful for both you and your little one.

Attachment Parenting in a nutshell? Maximize close body contact, make it fun, keep life as simple as possible while you have a baby in the house.

More support

This article is written by Annie, one of our experts on our Baby Help Line. Her main website is Law Of Attraction Parenting, where you'll find lots of tips and inspiration for raising children.

Annie also runs a magnificent Parent Coaching Membership site and she is now offering my readers a free trial for a month. Make sure you put the code monthtrial in the promotion code box when you join as a full member (no credit card details needed).

Wondering if it is worth the effort to join the site? Well, I just did, and here's my take on it:

First of all, I have a confession to make...

My youngest is now three years old and throws such tantrums I can't believe it. He is our third child, so we should be used to it by now. But all children are different of course and also, I think I tend to forget the tough parts as my children grow.

Any way, I just beacame a memer of LOA myself and browsed around very curious the first time. Some sections are quite new and not so content-rich yet, but the audio coaching section... Wow! I found an audio about temper tantrums and listened to it. It was so filled with help and reassurance, that I had to immediately downloaded it and got my husband to listen to it.

There are already a lot of audios to listen to and I know Annie is producing more too. The site also contains a forum, articles, a possibility to create your own blog and more.

Since you get a one month trial (thank you Annie), there's not much to loose!

Sign up here. And don't forget to add your promocode: monthtrial

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