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9-Month-Old Baby Won’t Sleep – Some Ideas On How To Solve It?

by Sara
(Fort Wayne, IN)

My 9 month old daughter has never been a sleeper but it seems as she gets older she sleeps less and less at night. She wakes up almost every 2-3 hours wanting to eat.

I’ve tried giving her less food, giving her water, giving her a pacifier, a bedtime routing, letting her cry herself to sleep. Nothing works. I NEED SLEEP!!!! What can I do? Any advice. Any other tricks?

Baby Help Line:

Tricks When 9 Month Baby Won’t Sleep At Night

I can imagine how tired you must be. If her waking up more often started at around 7 months, it is likely to be due to separation anxiety – that happens to many babies as their mind develops and they start realizing that they are a separate person from their mom.

This anxiety is why they wake up so often and won’t settle alone. They are simply scared and very dependent on knowing that you are still around. Cry-it-out at this point in time often only makes things worse.

Here are some things you can try:

  • Try to limit her naps in the day time.Find a sleep schedule by age here.
  • Try not to let her nap after 5:00pm.
  • Give her a warm bath before her last feeding.
  • You may want to try some cereal before her last feeding. I would put 2Tbls of cereal in 8oz of formula for my sons last feeding.
  • You can also keep her room just a little cooler than normal this sometimes helps little ones sleep.

If she is still waking up very often then you may try to swap who tends to her when she wakes up at night. Is she breastfeeding? If she is, try to let her dad be the first one to attend to her at night, trying to soothe her with a cuddle, pacifier or rocking for 5 minutes before she gets to eat. If the suckling is more about comfort than hunger, this is highly likely to make her wake up less often within days.

You can read about the benefits of letting your baby nurse to sleep here.

And in this article, you’ll find more tips on how to stop your baby nursing to sleep.

Best Wishes, Paula

More Babies That Wake Up At Night

Find comments below.

Comments for “9 Month Old Baby Won’t Sleep”

May 13, 2010

9 month old wont sleep all night
by: Anonymous


I have a 9 month old & he will not sleep at night. He wakes up we leave him to cry but he just keeps crying until we bring him into bed. We would just love for him to start sleeping all night.


May 26, 2010

9 month old baby girl won’t sleep!
by: 1st time Mommy


My 9 month old will not sleep through the night she gets up 4-5 times a night. We have tried to let her “cry her self to sleep” but all she ends up doing is throwing up on herself in frustration. I have tried cereal, cooler room, letting her fall asleep herself…everything! I don’t know what to do!


May 27, 2010

Separation anxiety
by: Baby Help Line – Paula


Hi,

You know, at the age of 9 months old, many babies tend to have quite a strong separation anxiety. They have figured out that they are their own persons, separate from their moms, and that really scares them.

Hence they want to be close, be carried, be in the same room, and become incosolable if left alone in the bed.

Using the cry it out method is very likely to just make things worse at this age. Instead, trying to respond to this little person’s needs, by really letting him or her be close is a much more effective way to make teh anxiety go away.

There have been studies showing that babies that are held a lot become independent faster. I guess they gain the security they need to face the world again.

I know it is exhausting! I was about to snap when my daughter woke up every hour at this age. Take turns to cudle your baby, consider co-sleeping part of the night if necessary and remember to let dad help out at night too.

It will pass! ANd faster if you try to respond to the little terrorist’s needs. ;-)

Hope this helps a little bit!

Paula


May 28, 2010

Special way to make your baby sleep

by: Anonymous


I have a 9 month old baby too. She always wake up at night time before but she sleep better now after
I give her one more pillow. You can try wear a t-shirt for a day ( of course don’t make it so dirty ). Take off your T-shirt, put the pillow
inside and put next to your baby. It’s work for me but I don’t know can help you or not. Wish you can have a good sleep soon!


Jul 12, 2010

Babies are not designed to sleep like adults

by: Claire


Thank heavens for people like Paula offering sensible advise.

Babies are not designed to sleep through the night (which technically is classed as 5 hours, sorry to disappoint those that are wanting the magic 7pm – 7am)

My first baby woke every 2 hrs until he was almost 2yrs. we bed shared and I was far more rested than many of my fellow Mums who paced the floorboards or who tried cry-it-out only to then have to calm down a very upset baby.

My second baby (9mths old) is a much better sleeper and only wakes a couple of times a night. It’s his nature nothing I have done. I too bed share with him as it’s wonderful and gives him all the closeness and security he needs to develope into a happy and secure person.

Accept that your baby needs to wake for comfort, reassurance, food or just to practice a new skill and embrace what ever makes your baby happy. Accept that sleeping through the night at such a young age is a myth, stop putting so much pressure on yourself to achieve the impossible and you will enjoy what little sleep you get so much more.

And if the woman down the road boast her baby sleeps all night, take it with a pinch of salt, when you dig the reality is often quite different.


Aug 30, 2010

Bed Sharing
by: Sandra


I bed share too and was starting to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I can’t imagine leaving my child to cry it out. what purpose that serves other than to give my self more sleep (supposedly) is beyond me.
After reading the posts, I know that I’m doing the right thing.
My 9 month old started doing better by going about 3-4 hours, but now he is back to his old antics. I guess I have no choice but to deal with it.
All a part of being a mom.


Sep 05, 2010

any ideas??
by: Emma


hi,my 9 month old hardly ever sleeps..its hard work trying to get her to nap during the day and in the night she wakes every 2hours and sometimes she wont drink her milk or water so it makes it more difficult for me to try and get her back to sleep which takes up to an hour sometimes(this is a killer at 2am)she has never drunk more than 4oz of her milk and it can take her half an hour to drink this she is lovely but very frustrating.
i put her to bed about 6 after a bath she has her milk and drifts off so as i leave the room she screams until she gags so i have to bring her down stairs.once she finally falls asleep she wakes all the time and from 4:30am that’s it i have no hope she doesn’t go back to sleep and i have to get up and wont sleep again till like lunch time!she shares a room with me as i only have a 2bed house and my son has the other room i didnt know if is the problem and she has got to clingy to me??
any ideas
thanks…a very tired mummy


Sep 08, 2010

My 9 month wont sleep

by: Bridie


I am so pleased i found this page!
i thought it was just me suffering from a baby that wont sleep. Hes 9 months now, i think his teeth are on the move so at the moment he sleeps from 9pm to around midnight, then im up every hour with him. I think it is a little bit of seperation anxiety as well because as soon as ive picked him up he settles back down, until i place him back in the cot that is!!! But is it bad that hes NEVER slept through (more than four hours……)
Ive never been so tired. But hes my little man so i forgive him as soon as i get a gummy smile :) xx


Sep 21, 2010

9 month will no longer sleep by himself. HELP!!

by: Anonymous


I am so happy to have found this site, I could cry. I have a 9 month old son, who has suddenly decided that he will not sleep in his crib, and that he can’t sleep without me snuggling him. These last few weeks have been so hard. My husband and I co-slept with him until he was about 6 months. He seamlessly transitioned to sleeping in the crib. We could lay him on his belly, turn the lights out, shut the door and he would go to sleep all on his own. When he turned 8 months he learned how to stand up in the crib, this is where our problems began. We would lay him down, only for him to stand back up. However, when he grew tired of standing, he would lay himself down and drift off to sleep. Now, we lay him down, and he stands up and wails (this happens nap and bed time). Just to see if we could wait him out, we let attempt to cry himself to sleep. This didn’t work. It’s like a battle of wills with this kid. He cried for nearly 2 hours! (I of course when in periodically to try to calm him down, but refused to take him out the crib) After 2 hours, we gave in. The moment I took him out the crib and laid him in bed with me, he was fast asleep. It has gotten to the point now where if I move to get up, he get’s up too. For example, he was sound asleep the other night, snoring and all. I got up to use the bath room. When I shifted to get out the bed, he shifted in my direction. When I got up, with eyes still closed, he sat up too. I am at my wits end. For the life of me, I can’t understand what has happened. He has gone from sleeping by himself, to my not being able to move without him waking. I need HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sep 28, 2010

9 month old won’t sleep AT ALL!!1

by: Anonymous


Ok, my 9 month old baby girl has never been a good napper, but pretty decent at night (from 12:00am-7:30am) Anyway, last night was the worst.. Up at 4:00am no napping all day no matter what, And refusing sleep, just finally went to sleep at 11:45am. I can barely stay awake for 19 hours without crying and she has been playing ALL day, no fussiness, nothing.. I’m going to call my dr tomm… but VERY concerned.


Oct 01, 2010

my nine month old baby won’t sleep
by: First time mom


My baby does not nap very well throughout the day and then wakes up more than four times during the night to suck on my breasts. On top of it she cries for everything and has my senses frayed when I am home with her all day. She naps for only twenty minute approximately.

I have decided to wean her as of today since I also teach and this breast sucking all night is draining me. Tonight I also allowed her to cry herself to sleep. Her daddy and I took turns reassuring her and she has been asleep for almost two hours now.

I wonder what I am doing wrong with her?


Oct 09, 2010

9 month old baby should need more sleep!

by: Sharon


I now know that I am not crazy! Who finally has answers? I read a lot of issues, but I saw no responses on how to deal with it. I am so tired and do not know how to convince her that she and mommy needs sleep!!


Oct 13, 2010

I’m in the same boat

by: Anonymous


Thank goodness I am not alone. My little guy became a wonderful sleeper at just 3 months of age – we could put him down awake but tired and he would magically drift off on his own. Of course when he was very small he would nap on me and I would enjoy the snuggles.

Lately he is just the opposite. He is just 9 months now and the last few weeks have been horrible with his sleep. I think it’s a combination of a few things – teething, growth spurt, separation anxiety and the fact that he is very mobile (crawling and standing up). Poor guy, so much going on. When we put him down at night he crawls right over, stands up and screams. It’s almost like he just wants to keep going or is afraid of missing anything.

I too tried to let him cry for a while but that just escalated him to such a state. He’s so overtired at times that doesn’t help matters either. For now I have resorted to many more hugs, some occasional naps on me (though he is getting far too heavy for that) and disturbed nights. I’m assuming that this won’t be a permanent thing and as with most of his scheduling – the ball seems to be in his court.


Oct 20, 2010

Mine wont sleep either!
by: Anonymous


By two weeks old she was sleeping in her crib in her own room. I would get up every 2 hours to breastfeed and she would fall asleep in my arms. Then we started bottle propping. From about 3 weeks of age on, she has needed that food in her sleep. My daughter from then on (now at nine months) eats a 9oz bottle with 3 scoops of cereal and 2 scoops of formula maybe a total of 2-5 times a night, and they are bone dry when i go back in there. she sadly requires pure silence as well. Her hungry cry is very distinct. She also does 20+ diapers a day as well as feeds 4 jars of food and a bottle every hour and a half throughout the day.

I am convinced that I am in a position similar to yours. I figure once she’s a bit older and can understand me saying the word “sleep” and all that it entails, she will obey. As for right now, this is it. There is no crying it out. There is no rocking her (she hates being cuddled and rocked. shes more of a bouncer). Any noise when sleepy including my own voice infuriates her. Any touch no matter how soothing she tried climbing up my arm to scream/cry ‘hunger’ right in my face. Shes fiercly independent, but if she needs that bottle and diaper change she’ll tell me. Age and being able to understand further how to do as she is told is the only logical choice i see. According to her physical therapist she is very tiny but has muscle development typical of a child four to six months older than her.

Another note: Mine is walking, babbling ‘da da’s and has 4 top teeth and three on bottom. 1st time mommy

maybe once all the teeth come in? *crosses fingers*

also have brought up the frequent hunger and urination to the pediatrician and have been waved off as if its no concern; but i know better. am sure that as a child develops and grows more, these phases will play themselves out.


Oct 22, 2010

My baby won’t sleep

by: Anonymous


My almost 9 month old daughter won’t sleep at night, we have a night time routine and she goes to sleep just fine after I rock her. She will sleep for a few hours, and then wake up like its party time. I giver her the pacifier but never a bottle. It take a while for her to go back to sleep. I’ve tried letter her cry it out, but since she shares a room with me and my husband. The letter her cry it out really does not work for us. I don’t know what else to do. I need sleep.. HELP!!!


Oct 25, 2010

I’m there too
by: Cynthia


Hi to all,

What a wonderful page with lots of support. My son is almost 9 months old and I have been struggling with his sleep patterns for months. I am a single mother, first baby, and he has been sleeping with me since day one, except during daytime naps when he sleeps in his crib. I went through the 8 week colic phase which is how the co-sleeping got started. He just didn’t want to be left alone. I have been contemplating trying those sleep suggestions that all these baby books offer and have tried a few times to let him cry it out with no success. He can outcry me and I can’t watch him suffer like that. These books never give you the real life situations that we encounter.

After staying up yet again until 2am last night while he fussed and played and wanted to be carried, I have decided that I am going to stop reading all this advice on how to make your baby get into a sleep pattern and let him be the little person that he is. Our babies need us and we should be there. Have I not spent many late nights out at a club partying the night away or pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, but was still able to get up and go early the next day, all day? Absolutely, so why when the most important person in the world needs me, am I so concerned with how much sleep I’m getting? This just doesn’t make sense. Yes, I’m exhausted and yes I’m cranky and sometimes depressed, but this is motherhood. One day he won’t need me anymore and I will miss those days when I was his whole world. I want to look back and remember that I was a loving mother and did not leave him in his crib to cry himself to sleep when he needed me. Have we not all cried our self to sleep as adults at some time? How did that feel? Not so great. That’s how our baby must feel.

So to all those fellow mothers in the same situation, let’s be there for our children and treasure every moment. Stop listening to all those parents who tell you that their baby goes to bed at 7am and sleeps through the night. And stop thinking that we are doing anything wrong. We are not. One thing that really helped me was a website that talked about high energy babies. It had lots of great information about these types of babies and how to get through these trying times. I will try to find it and post it on here.

I hope this has helped someone out there. Finding this page has helped me immensely. I will be thinking of all of you the next late night and will know that I’m not alone in my struggles. Love to all.


Oct 26, 2010

Wonderful!

by: Baby Help Line – Paula


Cynthia,

What a wonderful comment! And for a single mom to be so strong and say hey, this is motherhood and this is my child needing me; I’ll cope. Your son is very lucky to have you as his mom.

It can be sooo exhausting and everybody has to feel their own limits, but at this age – 9 months – many babies are fussy and poor sleepers. A lot is going on with their development and with separation anxiety.

It will get better, and probably sooner without any cry-it-out methods, especially at this age.

So hang in there!

And do come back in a couple of months and let other mothers know that it DID get better!

Take care,

Paula


Oct 30, 2010

not sleeping either

by: vicki


Well its good to know that there are so many other mothers who are dealing with the same problem! My son started sleeping all night at around 3 months, and would sleep anywhere between 10 and 12 hours! But halfway through 8 months, he has stopped sleeping! He’s getting all 4 of his top front teeth in at once, and I’m hoping when they come through, he will start sleeping better! He has always went to bed at 7, and still does, but now we can’t get through 4 hours without him up and crying! I tried to let him cry himself back to sleep, but listening to him scream isn’t letting me sleep either! I’ve been putting him in bed with me and my husband, and it helps a little, but he still wakes up crying every 2 hours! I think the best help right now would be a post from someone with an older baby who experienced the same thing, just to know how long this lasts! I’m starting to get used to it, but it reminds me why this is my last baby! Good luck to everyone!


Nov 03, 2010

Before 12 months…

by: Baby Help Line – Paula


Hi Vicki,

Well, two of our kids both did this (very fussy at night at around nine-ten month old. And both stopped before their first birthday, with a little help from us. The help mainly comprised of not letting them feed at night, but rather sleep with dad.

You can read a little bit about what we did here:

You can read a little bit about what we did here. Check ot the tip about letting dad help.

If you browse around the baby sleep help questions, you’ll find several more posts with tips regarding this.

Good luck!

Paula


Nov 13, 2010

problem and solution …maybe
by: Anonymous


I have a 9 month old baby girl..she has been waking up for a pacifier for i don’t know how long..i have been rocking her to sleep but lately when i go to put her in the crib she wakes right up turn on her belly and thens stands up. This is very frustrating and i get very little sleep.
I tried letting her cry it out but shes doesn’t calm down she starts crying so hard and hyperventilating and it takes even longer to get her to bed. So im trying something new…
I put her in the bed and like always she turns and gets up so i have her her blanket and walked out. Then i let her cry for about 15 minutes then i went back in her room gave her her pacifier layed her back down and put my hand on her stomach and rocked her and made the shhhhh sound after 5 minutes she was sleeping..hope it helps someone else


Nov 20, 2010

my 9 month old baby girl wont sleep!

by: Anonymous


i like this site! i need help, my girl slept from 7pm-7am from 6 wks old till 6 months. NOW IM PAYING FOR IT.

she naps for 20 mins max in the day a couple of times. and at night- nothing, she goes down at 7pm ish and up at 11, 1,2,4 and then 5.05am is IT! we are up dressed and downstairs. we are going to bed at 8pm these days and at end of tethers in night, she seems to pop and her put her knees underneath her alot- shes 9 months, could it be colic?


Dec 09, 2010

I know the feeling

by: Anonymous


hi there,
when your so sleep deprived and feeling like you are the only one out there with this issue its so nice to know your NOT ALONE hehe. my little 9 month old is doing the exact same thing. its the clingy teething and separation anxiety stage so we just have to wait it out. by comforting your baby is the best thing you could do. i have tried to feed her up before bedtime to rule out hunger and ive always made sure she is not too warm or too cold , not in any pain or anything to make her cry and the little bugger still wakes up. so hang in there its normal we are just unlucky that its us but lets remember they grow so fast so lets try to enjoy the 5 times a night visits with our bubbbas- so special lol .


Dec 14, 2010

Me too!!!!
by: Anonymous


This is the greatest find yet!!! Misery sure does love company LOL. But it’s not really misery it just feels like that some nights. My 9 month old son is doing the same exact thing as all of you and I’m in it with you ladies!!! WE ARE NOT ALONE :)

From 4-7 months he slept from 8:30 to 6:30 not one peep in between. It got to the point where I had to wake him just so I could change his diaper b/c otherwise he would overflow by morning and the bed would be wet. But those were the days LOL

Now on his 7th tooth he is a very different baby regarding sleep. His daytime naps are scattered at best and as much as I try to get him to stay on schedule I can’t. Many of you non-first time moms are probably laughing quite hard at me right now. So these days I just try to breathe and get through. Crying it out is not working just as many of you other moms are finding and the only thing left is try my best to be the mother that my boy needs and not the mother I think I should be. If that makes sense.

It’s nice to know you’re all out there. Thank to everyone for sharing.


Dec 18, 2010

Non sleeping baby
by: Rebecca


Well, ladies, a common problem we all seem to share. My son has never been a good sleeper. He has GERD, a dairy allergy, teething and painful gas. He was colicky as a newborn and it took several months to find the right medicine and dosage. So, unfortunately, I can’t relate to the mommies who have had no problems until now but I can share the wisdom of someone who hasn’t slept through the night since my son was born.
Please just breathe and relax. You’re all excellent parents so please don’t waste your time thinking and doubting. Your baby will get the sleep he or she needs. But the moms who have their babies on schedules need to relax because this is a tough time for infants. Try to go with the flow as much as possible. When I first realized how sleep deprived I had become, I talked to my Dad about what was going on and all he said was that these sleepless night and crying jags would bond me and my son more then anything else could. And he was right. So, here’s why else I’ve learned and please ignore if this is redundant.
I have a checklist and I go through it whenever my son wakes up. Diaper, temperature, belly, gas and teething. I see which one is bothering him and I attend to his needs. I never let him cry it out because I always want him to feel he can rely on me. And sometimes you just have to realize there’s nothing you can do. Even if he’s crying and screaming, he will appreciate the fact that you are there. My boyfriend and I worked out a schedule for nights. If it’s before 3 am, I’m on duty and I attend to our baby. After 3 am is his shift. Taking turns will not work, trust me. Also, as other moms have said before, babies have a lot going on at this time in their lives. They’re growing physically at the fastest rate of their entire lives, their bodies going through tsunamis of hormones, tons of teething ( we are at 9 teeth now) not to mention their newly expanded diets. If an adult was going through all that, don’t you think you would hear a lot of complaining? The best way to get through this period is to remember you’re helping your gorgeous brilliant baby get through a tough time and it’s usually a phase that will end sooner or later. Sorry I don’t have any easy solutions but I hope I’ve helped someone. Love to all you wonderful mothers for caring so much about your babies’ sleep. And always talk to a receptive pediatrician if you think you have something to worry about. Finding the right pediatrician can make the biggest difference for your child and ultimately your family.


Jan 06, 2011

My Baby Won’t Sleep Either

by: Stephanie


My daughter is 9 months old and used to sleep through the night (well, 12 am to 4 am, but that’s better than this!). That all ended about a month ago. Right now it is 3:40 am and she is sitting wide awake next to me. She fell asleep for about an hour from 8-9, but has been awake since. My husband is out of town, and has been for over a month, so it’s just me to look after her. I have a full time job and I have to bring work home with me. I can’t get work done when she is awake because she is getting into everything. This has been the most frustrating time with my beautiful daughter! I love her so much, and try not to get upset. I am trying so hard to stay positive, but it is difficult. Especially when it’s almost 4 am and the work keeps piling up.


Jan 24, 2011

Oh Thank Goodness!

by: Leanne


I’ve been up today since 1:30am (its now 4:32pm) and I’ve been in tears most of the afternoon, wondering what I’ve done wrong with my 9 month old angel…have I held him too much, have I created a “rod for my own back” in rocking him to sleep each night…now that he won’t sleep – wakes ever hour and needs to be rocked back to sleep and then won’t go down in his cot. Then I find this site – and all of a sudden, things don’t look so bad. Thank you everyone, the things you’ve said have helped immensly. I’m now still tired, but don’t feel like a failure as a mother!!!


Jan 28, 2011

Neither will Mine!

by: Very Tired!


Well Well Well! Im not the only 1 suffering! My daughter slept through the night at about 3-5 months old! All way through, not a peep out of her! She hit 6 months and all downhill from there we had the teething palaver which interfered with everything! I gritted my teeth and hope this would pass! Well her teeth came through and i thought things would look up, then she got poorly and we cuddled her and nursed her but when she got better she wouldnt sleep in her cot at all! We rocked her to sleep and gently placed her in her cot! As soon as she relised she would be awake and letting the street know! Now she depended on me for her to go to sleep and we needed to break that! We let her cry it out and on the 3rd night she went in her cot to sleep no problem! But she cant and wont sleep through she’d wake up and id pat her back till she fell asleep! Then at 9 month she learnt how to stand up as brilliant as it sounds this now interupts sleeping! Instead of going back to sleep she now wakes herself fully by standing up and we are now fighting a losing battle every night! But it isnt once its at least 7-8 sometimes more times a night and now im feeling very empty and very tired!


Jan 28, 2011

Not easy, but possible

by: Danny The Manny


Hi everyone. I am a S.A.H.D. (Stay At Home Dad), although I prefer “Man of the House”. I have a nine-month old and also watch his cousin of 9 1/2 months. They are very different in many respects, the elder still in 6 Mo. clothes and the younger, my Veblen, in 18-24 duds. It helps me to mentally document wake-up times and when during the day and night they get drowsy.
Jackson, my nephew, tends to go right to sleep when the time comes, but wants to be carried for awhile first. Veb prefers to have a bottle on his back while he drifts off.
Carrying and comfort feeding can be magic bullets, but if I do this consistently, it comes back to bite me – they won’t sleep without it. In order to get them to sleep on their own, I wait until they are good and tired and then carry or cuddle just until I see those eyelids droop. then, it’s off to bed. There is frequently crying and fussing for awhile, up to a half hour. Any more than that, I’ll get ‘em up – I know we’re told not to, to just let ‘em cry it out, but I am too soft-hearted for that, and I’ve got things to do. Mostly though, their napping behavior is pretty good.
My problem is Veb’s nighttime waking. He sleeps from about 10:00 pm ’til 7 or 8:00 am, but wakes three to four times a night. I usually feed him two 4 oz. bottles during the night and sit or lay with him until he’s asleep again, but we can’t do this forever.
I do not enforce a rigorous schedule for Veb, his own pattern is pretty regular, but I will begin feeding him a nice rich cereal bottle about an hour before his usual bedtime. I will continue to lay with him, but no nighttime feeding, only the pacifier, when he wakes. I do not change his wet diaper until morning. He almost always wakes up happy and ready to play, which is nice, but in lieu of night feeding, I will have some formula, eggs and toast ready for him in the morning. Hope it works!


Feb 20, 2011

my 9 month old daughter is having the same troubles

by: Anonymous


She used to sleep all night long and then I don’t know what happened one day she woke up at mid-night and stayed awake until 5 in the morning. I have tried everything. I have kept her up all day in hopes that she will go to bed and stay there but she still wakes up at mid-night. I have tried bathing her and giving her a bottle and she still wakes up. I have tried keeping it cool and still wakes up. What can I do to get her to sleep all night long. We can’t keep going like this. Its been about 3 weeks now that I have gotten decent sleep. She doesn’t even want to take naps during the day either. She just seems restless. Someone please help!!!!!


Feb 21, 2011

Mother’s are amazing

by: Anonymous


I have a 9 month old and she is a great sleeper sometimes and sometimes she hates it. I have tried regular scheduling, feeding options, baths, rocking, bouncing, letting her cry. Sometimes it is perfect! Sometimes it is not so perfect. As I read all the comments I just can’t help but think, ‘how amazing are moms’. Everyone of you sacrifice so much for your babies everyday. Then, we are so hard on ourselves if we do not have the perfect child, because we think it is our fault. I just don’t think that is true. They are unique little people. Sometimes they want to sleep, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they want to eat everything, and the next day they are on a hunger strike. Just yesterday, my daughter refused to eat any formula, and ofcourse, I began to wonder what I had done wrong. Then, today, she ate almost twice what she normally does. I just think that most of the time they are trying to work out some area of development, or they just don’t feel good, or they just realized they didn’t like the dark. It is not because we are bad mothers. As their mom, we just need to try to understand and know our little person the best we can, and try to figure out a way to help them through. I don’t think hard and fast rules will always work for every situation or baby, but having a close loving relationship with our baby is what they need. Whenever I notice myself trying to rigidly stick to a way that is not working, I realize (eventually) that it is unrealistic to do so. Whatever works for mommy and baby is good, and it often needs to be revised.


Feb 24, 2011

feeling guilty for being frustrated

by: Rebecca


I was so glad to find this! I am a single mother to an almost 9 month old baby boy. He has never been a great sleeper & would wake to nurse at least 2-3 times per night (7pm-630am) for the past several months. Over the past week this has gotten much worse! He was awake SEVEN times in one night. He doesn’t appear to have any illness (no fever, congestion, coughing, etc.). I have tried to wait to go into his room & see if he will stop crying & go back to sleep but he just gets more & more worked up. He stands up and screams until I come in and pick him up.

I have tried bringing him into my bed so that we could both sleep but he just tosses & turns, squirms, & plays with my face & hair.

I find myself becoming so frustrated & I don’t know what else to do to calm him. Im so tired. I feel guilty for feeling frustrated because I know that he is not intentionally trying to cause me to lose sleep. I am sure that it has to do with all of the developmental milestones he has recently accomplished. I also think that the object permanence thing is complicating things. He seems to really pitch a fit when I leave the room. It breaks my heart & I wish I could just fix it!


Feb 26, 2011

THANK YOU ALL!

by: Becki


My daughter slept through the night (8pm-6.30am) from 3 weeks to 3.5 months, and since then it has been downhill… last night was the worst, she woke at 2am and didn’t sleep again until 5.30am! I am back at work (husband is a SAHD) and I am so tired… my boobs are sore, she sucks and chews them angrily all night, and what works one night only serves to make her more angry the next!

The health visitor told us to not feed her at all in the night – well, I’d like her to come show me how that works! I feel pressure from others, like i am doing something wrong, and in fact if I stop stressing about it I cope so much better.

It helps so much to know we’re not alone, thank you all!


Feb 27, 2011

My 9 month old wants to suck on me all night!!
by: Kay


Wow I’m not the only one then! My baby boy has always co-slept with us and I easily latch him on to my boob in the night! However recently he has been latching on every hour to half an hour during the night !! He will squirm and wriggle a bit and try and sit up, then I snuggle him down and put him back in the breast!! In the morning when I get up with my older son he will stretch out and go back to sleep on his own in the bed!

I wondered if I should try putting him in his own bed because maybe I was in his way or he couldn’t get comfty next to me anymore! He is also teething so this might be the problem.


Mar 14, 2011

9 month old no sleep

by: Sarah


My beautiful baby boy will not sleep unless I am sitting up either in bed or a rocking chair nursing him. I was trying to wean him over the last month or so….he was taking a bottle most of the day and nursing at night…for the last few days he is refusing the bottle all together.

Once I rock him to sleep around 8pm I try to put him in crib if I am lucky he won’t wake up and stay in the crib for at least an hour but usually he wakes up while I am laying him down and I have to try it over and over about 4 times before he will go down.

Then an hour later he is up…I have to nurse/rock him to sleep again and repeat. Finally around 11pm he will go down for 2 hours then up again at 1am…nurse to sleep….up again at 2, 3, 4, and then finally up for the day at 7am. I am starting to hallucinate I think from sleep deprivation. I know its not his fault but I am starting to not know how to function. When will this end?


Mar 18, 2011

Baby Boy wont sleep through the night

by: Sam


Hi, My 9 month old boy just refuses to sleep through the night, he has a 2 hour sleep during the day and wont want to go to bed until around about 8:30-9pm at night he’s become extremely fussy with his foods, he doesn’t want solid food, he just want formula or custard and the only way i can get him to eat cereal is with a whole tin of custard mixed in with his cereal….people tell me to try and cut down his bottles during the day, I’ve tried to replace them with food but he refuses to eat, then at night he’s still waking up around 4-5 times for a bottle, he doesn’t want the comfort its that he’s always so hungry if i pick him up to bring him to bed he wakes up and thinks its play time…
is there anything that i can try to maybe get a solid 5 hours of sleep in at night because im going crazy and feel like its been years since i last had a good night’s sleep…
thanx


Mar 26, 2011

Here’s some things to try!

by: Anonymous


I had the same problems with my youngest daughter. I have tried everything you could imagine except letting her cry it out and medicating her. The doctors kept telling me that there was nothing I could do about it. Here is what I have found somewhat works for my little one. First I only let her have 3 hours worth of naps during the day but they are usually split up. Then after dinner I will let her go to sleep until about 10:30p.m. At which time I wake her up and keep her up till about 12 or 12:30 a.m. she tends to sleep rather well the rest of the night. But you have to wear them out during the day. Lots and lots of activities. Make sure that your baby is somewhat cool at night when you put him/her to bed. A warm bath might help as well. Babies tend to sleep better in dim light instead of the dark or blarring lights. And it wouldn’t hurt to have some sort of sound in their room. Some babies can not sleep with no noise. Try playing some soft music. 30 mins before baby’s bedtime don’t do anything that would cause the baby to be alert (t.v., playing with them, etc…) I don’t know if any of these will help but you can try it. And to the woman who was having a hard time with her baby eating solid foods. Mine also did that for awhile so I took her off of the pureed food and put her on finger foods and she started eating more and more solid food. She is now down to 3 to 4 bottles a day and is healthier than ever. In fact the doctor said she was the perfect weight. Hope some this will help everyone.


Mar 31, 2011

thx everyone
by: Saadia


just wen i started feeling like I’m gonna lose it i chance upon this page n its like I’ve written all these comments myself..my 9month old has always been a poor sleeper waking every half an hr at night n if I’m lucky every hour…ppl suggested all kinds of things but nothing works..i was told babies settle after 3months..then they said he would settle once his tummy was full wid solids..then it was the teething phase..no luck so far..im paranoid about having another baby…its exhausting and I’m all alone at home with my husband out of town several nights a month..its comforting to read im not the only mother in this situation..i guess every baby is different and i can only hope and pray mine settles down soon..will pray for all of u as well..gud luc and take care:)lotsa luv…saadia!


Apr 01, 2011

9 months of no sleep….When will it end???

by: Anna


When I read Sara’s entry I almost fell off my chair. It was as if I was reading my little daughter’s nighttime schedule. I, too, rock her to sleep each time, though lately she seems to go back to sleep (we co-sleep) if she starts running her fingers through my hair, this was cute at first but now it can get pretty painful when she pulls hard), and she wakes up on average about 5-6 times a night. Sometimes it is less, sometimes it is more. I rack my brain to figure out what I had done on the days preceding the better nights and when I try to do the same things again, there she goes to throw me for a loop. She is a great napper, will nap for about 1.5 hours twice a day (after I rock her to sleep) but nighttime is really horrible. I have read so many “sleep training” books, read countless support websites and after trying almost everything (except letting herself cry to sleep) she is still waking up often. I am much too scared to let her do the cry it out because she is rather a high strung baby and I know she would cry for hours on end until she got her way, and hearing her cry so much would break my heart. She has always been a spirited little thing, now especially she is so much more clingy and needy and will not leave my hip for the entire day. I thought once she started to walk, which she did a couple of weeks ago, it would tire her out and she would sleep better… I was wrong. This is all very frustrating but as I write this I am so thankful at the same time to have this awesome supportive group of mothers who are in the same boat as I am. I think we all have to remind ourselves that we are not doing anything wrong. All babies are different and some babies are just wired to test their parents a bit more. I will continue to give my daughter the love and comforting that she needs, but I need to know……..when will this END????
My love to you all :)


Apr 03, 2011

hey

by: Saadia


hey anna
thts what i think about every single day..apparently they settle after like a year in most cases..gud luc n hugs to u all:)


Apr 10, 2011

Not so bad….

by: Kye


Well totally sleep deprived; so I thought! My little one is a little too fond of the milkbar… take away city she was in a great routine but alas she has forgotten how to put herself to sleep when she wakes during the night. It is every three hours I have tried to let her cry but its sooo hard at night I know she isn’t hungry but give in because it so much easier ten minute feed back to sleep or let her cry on and off for 2 hours and give in anyway… She has taken to the dummy so I thought being a reflux child this would be good but maybe it’s just a rod now.. Saying all this I have a 6 year old who had chronic reflux and woke on average 40 times a night.. but it still doesnot help there seems to be sooo many mummies who claim their little ones sleep through…

I only need one or two nights a week to cope and if she does sleep longer than 3 hours my other child wakes getting up for work is too harder some times…

Any ideas apart from the norm?????


Apr 12, 2011

Thank you for your stories

by: Angélique


I just want to thank all those wonderful mums who shared their experience and make me feel NORMAL ! I have my second baby. She is 9 months old, wakes up at night for reinsurance, go back to sleep in our bed, have a bottle…It’s a little chaotic. I’m from Europe, and here everybody makes me feel bad about the way i do. It’s like my baby has a problem and i am a bad mum and i spoil her! I had my first baby in the US and i had so much support from people that now i believe in happy healthy babies and not in let’s make the baby easy for parents only ! Thank yall !


Apr 15, 2011

A book tip
by: Paula (Baby Help Line)


Hi everyone,

Since being in the same situation as you are was actually this website was founded in the first place, I wanted to add in another tip. If you haven’t already, buy the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. The reason it suits so well particularly for babies at this age is that it offers a range of possible ways to improve your baby’s sleep without using the cry it out method. And since 9 months is a sensitive age, cry it out is usually not a good option, but it can be really hard to think of other ways.

If you are curious on the author, I recently interviewed her. You can find the interview here.

Paula


Apr 20, 2011

the ups and downs of being a parent
by: Anonymous


my daughter was a great baby slept through the night from the age of 6 weeks and i was hoping my son would be the same, how wrong i was my son is now 9mths old and i can’t remember the last time i slept all night in fact it was before he was born. My son will sleep till about 12- 1;30 then thats it every half an hour he wakes up i give him his dummy he may go back to sleep or otherwise i have to stand over his cot for sometimes up to 2-3hrs just gently rubbing his belly, shhhhing him but he must hold my hand stroking it until his totally asleep and it doesn’t make a difference if he sleeps or not during the day but this is all the joys of being a parent and you have to take the rough with the smooth and all i can do is tell myself he will sleep through the night sooner or later.

just one other thing don’t listen to anything your told if you feel your doing it right do it, coz there is no right way or wrong way only we know our kids.


Apr 27, 2011

Baby wants to play at night!

by: Bridgete


My baby will be nine months next week. Just when he got used to his crib, he now does not want to sleep. I take him my bed and sometimes he will sleep that way, but he seems so worked up like he got a burst of energy…he’s kicking his little feet and trying to crawl around everywhere…he thinks it’s play time! I have tried to let him cry 5-10 minutes at a time, but he gets SOOO mad and worked up, I end up having to calm him down. He just wails and I can’t stand to let him cry like that. I am trying to understand why he has so much energy when I see all the signs of sleepy…rubbing the eyes, yawning, sleepy face. I do the baths and my mother says he is not napping as much during the day anymore, so I thought he would be more tired. Not sure if this is a phase..I hope it is! I’m exhausted!


Apr 28, 2011

Doctor’s diagnosis for my child’s innabilitly to sleep

by: Sheri


As of two weeks ago, my son had not slept through the night once since BIRTH! Lots of snotty nose problems, and what we thought may have been sleep apnea turned out to be extremely swollen tonsils and adnoids. Doctor put him on a steroid and my son slept for the first time all night long. My son needs his tonsils and adnoids out now. Maybe check with your pediatrician? Just some advice from an EXHAUSTED mother.

God bless

Sheri


May 02, 2011

I sympathise

by: Anonymous


Hi – my son has never slept through and I am sometimes almost hysterical with fatigue, as I work and am still breastfeeding him ( he is 9 months old). It has been enormously helpful to read these comments, as the superior non-working women in my mothers’ group have babies who all sleep through. And how did they do it? Some weaned them early and almost all admit they let their babies scream and scream for hours, so they exhausted themselves. How cruel! I am NOT prepared to be cruel. I HAVEN’T done anything wrong by getting up every single time he needs me (2-6 times per night). It’s a matter of luck and it is time that the REAL baby sleep habits were known, not this myth that you are alone and stupid for not getting your baby to sleep!


May 05, 2011

Routine: The Saving Grace
by: Happy to b a MOM


I have read through the comments and glad we all support each other. We play the same c.d at bed time and a different one for nap time and we have it on repeat. We read to our little one every night as well. When we have a real hard time settling him we have found that the baby einstein lullabye dvd is loved by our little one and he will squirm to be brought to bed when he has had enough of it or fall asleep. When he would fall asleep in our arms we would whisper that we were bringing him to his comfy cozy bed. He does wake in the middle of the night but not as often and we have found a consistent regular routine at bedtime and having naps around the same time during the day is very helpful. Remember they need us and can sense we are agitated, being upset and frustrated with baby will not help but being loving and caring will.


May 26, 2011

I feel your frustration
by: Anonymous


I have a two year old and the 9month old sleeping in the same room. At the drop of the hat, the youngest wakes up. A fan for white noise helps. The room is kept cool. An hour before bed, I give her a small bowl of oatmeal. Closer to bed time, she is nursed. I also let her get a nap around 4pm. I let her sleep and hour or less. I nurse her around 9pm or a little after. I usually does not wake until 6:30a.m.


Jun 01, 2011

9 Month Old Son Does Not Sleep

by: Jessica


I have just came across this website and although everything mentioned here I have tried except the cry it out method I am just glad to know that I am not the only person pulling my hair at midnight, 2,4,6 am. Since my son was born last September he has not slept for one 4 hour span day nor night. I have help thank goodness, a great mom, grandma and great grandma but still I’m so tired it’s never ending. I feel bad for my son as well because I know he is not adequetly rested either. I know he is pain right now from three teeth coming in and battling his second set of double ear infections. Doctors are not taking me seriously as a first time mom. However all the people I have talked to did not experience anything like this. I am sorry that you all are tired like me. But I am glad that we all are doing a great job being their for our children. That is the most important thing. I figure the more love the better for him even if it is 6 or 7 times a night. Good luck and if you have any advice I’ll be checking.


Jun 18, 2011

STEAK TO RULES

by: Follow your feelings and listen well


Dear mums, I want do share my experiences with you and hope it will work.

My son is 8 months now and until now he slept very good during the day and during the night. I believe I have helped him a bit because I was very strict with schedule since he was three months old. Now his sliping habits have changed. I think that is normal because he has to sleep less during the day and aporximatly 10 hours during the night. No matter at what time he is waked up, I always send him to the bad for mornign shifts at 10 and afternoon shifts at 4. Now he is sleeping only one our per shift, but I think it is ok.

Usually he had cryed 5 -10 minutes when I send to bed sometimes more, but as mother we have to listen activly. so in this way it is possibel to know why our baby is crying. Even thoug he was crying i never get him out of the crib. I was comunicatin with him, touching him and repating him sleep my honey sleep. BUT sometimes, you might wach him and seriolsy say. Pleas sleep now, I might be appset with you. Babies understand,even thoug we underestimate that.

Hope I have help you a bit.


Jun 19, 2011

hang in there

by: Anonymous


Hey Moms

Hang in there, I know how hard it is to not have any sleep, and still try to get through the day. Just remember they are only this age once and soon this too will be over. I have a 2 yr old who is just now starting to get on a regular sleeping pattern and an 8 mnth old who is doing the same thing….not sleeping. I finally came to the realization that its not gonna change. I just accept it…kinnda laugh about it, and put on a strong pot of coffee and make it through the day looking on the positive side. I excercise to improve my energy, and I try to go to sleep when my daughter goes to sleep. I feel that doing so improves my energy because Im not sooo stressed out about not sleeping. But to answer your questions here are some tips that I utilize to help my daughter sleep.

1. make sure that your baby is full before going to sleep. At this age finger foods should be given before bedtime. My daughters favorite is lasagna.

2. A warm bath before bedtime. Also there is a lavendar bath bubble wash that is very soothing and relaxing especially before bedtime.

3. Read some books before bedtime. This will start a bedtime routine, and has amazing benefits for babies. Some of which include: Bonding with mom/dad, they feel as though they are important enough for thier parents to take time for them before putting them to sleep. Literacy development. It is proven that those who read to thier babies at least 20 minutes a day, the babies develop intellectually, and tend to do better in school as they grow. And they begin to make sound to imagae connections. READ READ READ

4. Give your baby a bottle and hold her and cradle her. Give lots and lots of attention while feeding. Tell her how much you love her. By now your little one will start to roll her eyes back in her head bc shes soo tired.

5. Put your baby in her crib and rub her back. babies like to have rythmic touch…maybe even sing as you do this. pretty soon your little one will be sleeping. Now to get them to stay asleep through the night…Im still working on that one! :) I always bring mine to bed with me after she wakes the first time. I learned that she will usually sleep through if I do this. Sometimes I will wait a couple of hours and put her back into her crib, and I learned that she will still sleep through most of the night bc I held her for a while. Remember babies morning time starts at like 5:30-6 in the morning. Too early for me…but I make that coffee and go with it.

Good luck to you, and remember that this will not last for long! :)


Jul 11, 2011

Same story different day

by: Anonymous


My guy is doing the same thing. I also tried the ‘cry yourself to sleep’ bit. I told myself he needs to learn how to sleep on his own! But that’s not the approach that’s going to work. I know this sounds wrong but spoil that baby! You can’t give a baby too much love! The more you spoil your baby with love now, the more trust they’ll have in you. Baby needs you close right now. I’m brought mine into bed with me and we sleep most of the night. He still gets up, but without the screaming and falls right back to sleep. Remember that every phase passes. And as long as your baby is having wet and solid dippers and is growing at a most normal rate, everything is fine. Every baby sleeps different hours and eats different amounts of food. And not everyday is going to be the same. Think about yourself. Do you eat the same amount everyday? Do you sleep the same amount everyday? And if so I’m sure you have off days. My philosophy is, whatever works! If baby’s happy, it’s ok. Good luck sleepless moms. I feel your pain. But remember it will pass eventually.


Jul 14, 2011

what is sleep?

by: Anonymous


I thought I was alone. My 9 month old baby girl slept by herself through the night untill she was nine months old, now she will not sleep unless I am holding her. I am tired and in need of SLEEP.I have tried everything and nothing has worked for us.I am at my wits end the only thing I have found helpfull is her beautiful smile she gives me.


Jul 23, 2011

So glad i found this site!!

by: Anonymous


A sense of relief has washed over me knowing that so many mums out there are also going through the same thing!! My little man was never the best sleeper but would always wake, feed and settle. Now he is 9 months old though he will wake for his bottle around 1am and then that is it….. he will not settle. I have now started rocking him to sleep and feel i have set myself up for a bad habit!! He will sleep so peacefully in my arms but as soon as i try to put him in his cot he becomes hysterical again. Arrrrggghhh!

Oh well, like one of the mums wrote in a previous post ‘one day our babies will be all grown up and not need us anymore and we will be wishing for the day where we use to be their whole world’ (or words to that effect!) Well said.


Jul 26, 2011

Soooooo tired…

by: Anonymous


Hey everyone,

I’m also really glad to have stumbled across this site. My 9 month old is also a difficult sleeper. She’s never been much of a napper, and hates sleeping in her crib. As a single mother, I’ve been bad to take her in with me at night, because honestly, it’s too hard fighting with her to go back to sleep especially when I know I’m gonna have to be up with her all day. Co-sleeping is good in theory (yes, she doesn’t wake up crying and I don’t have to get up 20 times a night), but I don’t feel I’m getting adequate sleep; my daughter tosses and turns a lot, kicks and reaches out for me, so I’m awake most of the night. I’ve had A LOT of people (especially my parents) tell me all the wrong things I’ve done: I’ve always rocked her to sleep and she’s always been breastfed and now bottle fed before I put her down. If she wakes up when I put her in her crib (as she usually does), I take her out and start rocking her again. Apparently, you’re supposed to put the baby down sleepy but awake and make them sleep in their crib, etc etc, but as a first-time mother doing it completely on my own, I got into the habit of letting her sleep on me or with me out of shear exhaustion. And now I’m paying for it.

My daughter and I are together 24/7 and she seems to know instinctively that I’m all she’s got. She has always been really clingy with me, but lately it’s gotten out of control. If I leave the room for a second, she starts screaming and crying until I return and pick her up. She’s almost walking now, so she pulls herself up in her crib or playpen and cries until she’s taken up. Because she rarely naps, I have no “down time” and it’s starting to wear me down. I’ve tried everything, including the “cry it out” method, and nothing has worked; it just seems to make her more upset. I’m not sure what else to do; I’m returning to work in a couple of months and at the moment my mother is planning on babysitting for me, but I don’t know if she (my mother)is going to be able to handle how high maintenance my daughter is or if I’m going to be able to handle a full time job with a baby that doesn’t sleep. It’s really no longer that I want to get more sleep (which of course, I do), but I NEED her to get into some sort of routine where she naps at regular times and sleeps (at least) partially through the night, because I have to work to support us and I don’t think any babysitter (including my mother) is going to put up with her, as sad as that sounds. So please, and advice or feedback would be really helpful! Thank-you for listening.


Jul 28, 2011

That sound familiar!

by: Kirsten


Wow, it seems like 9 months old across the world like to party at night. My little boy, like all the others, would wake once for a feed until 8 months old and now he is up 6-7 time a night. But I just think… I don’t know any 10 year olds that wake that often in the night, so it will pass one day, no matter what I do! So i’ll just carrying co-sleeping and feeding on demand becuase that works for me right now.

To the post above. I have just returned to work and my boy is babysat by his Nana. I made an effort to spend a lot of time all togther so that they were both comfortable and fimiliar with each other. I then started leaving him with her for an hour, then half a day and then a full day before I started work. It has made the tranision to working mum much easier.


Aug 05, 2011

Same boat

by: Anonymous


My son is now 1 yr old and still does not sleep during the night!! The doc advised that we keep night as boring as possible. Norm when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he instantly starts playing. Doc also advised that if he doesnt need to be changed do not turn on light. Do not give a bottle. *she said after about 4-6mo they do not need a bottle during the night.* Do not talk. Babies start to think its daytime and are rewarded when they fuss at night time. I know its hard to do when we are tired. It all makes sense what the doc says tho. I’m trying hard to just let him fuss or play himself back to sleep.


Aug 05, 2011

5 months later….

by: Anonymous


Hello again all moms and dads,

I wrote here when my now 14 month old was 9 months about my horrific experience waking up almost every 2 hours, sometimes less sometimes more, becuase my daugher was unable to put herself back to sleep. Well, I stuck through it all and did not change much (we still co-sleep and I have not done any cry-it out at all) and when she turned about 11 or 12 months, I noticed that she started sleeping a bit better. This probably had to do with her being tired more from walking around all day. What I also did was (I used to exclusively rock her to sleep when she would wake up, no matter what time) rock her a bit and as she was still sort of zoning in and out of sleep, I laid her down on the bed and she would start running her fingers through my hair, which would INSTANTLY soothe her to sleep. So, I figured, if she loves running (sometimes YANKING) her fingers through my hair, I went out and bought a piece of hair extensions and each time she woke up at night, I would immediately ensure the extension was near her so she could stroke it…and it worked! She started to be increasingly better at falling asleep on her own and now I don’t rock her to sleep at night and the night wakings have significantly decreased, unless she is teething or sick…which requires more TLC than usual.

So, my advice to you all struggling sleepers (including myself) is that you be as patient as possible, this phase will pass in time. Each baby is different and the phase may last different lengths for different children, but eventually I think all of our babies will sleep on their own.

My new challange is to get my daughter to fall asleep on her own without my help, and ideally in her own bed! She is pretty used to a large, open space (I have a Queen sized bed and its just the two of us) so she would not do well in a crib… any tips?


Aug 14, 2011

I’m in the same boat of all of you

by: Anonymous


I’m so glad to find this website to know that I am not alone. My son is now 9 months old and has never slept through the night (wakes up 6-8 times)since birth and he is also a poor napper (30-45mins up until he is 6/7 months old. If he wakes after 1/2 hr, I walk him back to sleep then his nap can last up to 1 to 1 1/2 hr long). He has problem falling asleep on his own and needs to be held and pace around the room inorder to fall asleep. It wasn’t that bad when he was smaller but now it is getting harder for me since he is getting bigger and heavier, it’s hurts/breaks my back as well my husbands’. I have tried three times “cry it out” method but can’t bear to hear him cries his heart out so I gave up on that. He co-sleep with me for the first six months until he started rolling around the bed that’s when I started putting him in the crib which to my surprise he actually didn’t mind the crib. He wouldn’t sleep in it the first three months so I never tried again. On several occasions (probably about 5 times), I have tried not to walk him to sleep, he would be up for 4/5 hrs (1am to 4/5am)and very tire and still unable to fall asleep on his own. I know he tried very hard but he just don’t know how put himself to sleep and he became very frustrated and tried so I end up walking him back to sleep. He felt asleep in less than 2 mins. Like I said, I can’t do this any longer, it’s breaking my back…HELP!!! Does anyone of you know anyone that has the same problem as me and did it ever get better and how do they do it? Any advice would be nice.

I am getting desperate. I can’t go on like this forever.


Aug 14, 2011

Wow

by: Sleep deprived


Absolutely everything I have read is happening to me. Creepy. I’m so tired, haven’t had more that 4 hrs of sleep at once in 9 months :)Guess we all have normal babies.


Aug 19, 2011

9 month old son won’t sleep through the nite either!

by: Anonymous


I loved reading everyone’s comments about their experiences with their 9 month olds. It made me feel not so alone and less frustrated with my baby and me.

From day one, Caleb slept in his crib in our room not 3 feet away from my side of the bed. It made it easier to get up to feed him when he woke throughout the nites. He started sleeping though the nites at 2 months from 10 something pm to 7 something am…that lasted till he hit 4 months. Then he started waking up once or twice a nite to breastfeed, which wasn’t too bad.

My husband got out of the Navy when Caleb was 5 months and from then on we’d been moving around a bit. We moved in with my parents for a bit while Hubby looked for a job. Then we did a family road trip to visit everyone on his side of the family and finally (he is now working for a great company) we are living at his grandparents until we buy a house. This whole time, Caleb’s been sleeping in the same room as us, but he’s been waking up every hour or two and won’t go back to sleep unless I nurse him. It’s soo hard and I’m soo tired. On top of him waking up as much as a newborn, he hates waking up in his crib! He will wake up, sit up, yell for a bit, crawl over to the side, stand up and yell even more until I get up and get him. If I don’t, he’ll start to scream and cry.

Caleb refuses to take his naps in his crib. He’ll nurse to sleep on the Boppi and I’ll cuddle him as I walk to his crib. As soon as his back touches his mattress though, he’ll arch his back and without opening his eyes, he’ll start to yell.

I am at my wits end! We actually tried the CIO method but he can outcry me! We’ve tried feeding him more during the day but he only eats so much. We’ve tried putting him in the crib drowsy but then he starts crying as soon as he feels us lowering him in. I don’t know what to do. Anyone who has any advice…please, let me know.


Sep 20, 2011

9 mo. won’t sleeo at night either
by: Anonymous


She wakes up every 1-4 hours. Every night is different. She naps GREAT during the day. Sometimes 3 of them. I am keeping her to two if possible. Sometimes it doesn’t matter though. She’ll wake up at night and be whiny and sometimes go back to sleep. Other times she whines for too long and then is hungry. I co-sleep with her for a bit and then put her in her crib. There really is no special trick. I really hope it passes. My first was a great sleeper!


Oct 01, 2011

9 Month Old Baby Won’t Sleep :(

by: Anonymous


My 9 month old Natasha doesn’t sleep through the night and never has – she generally wakes around 3 -6 times a night. I am very tired as work full time too. I have read the Baby Whisperer book and am trying her technique of not letting them cry. Pick them up and comfort them and when calm put back in cot – apparently with the example in book first night baby picked up 100 times, second night 40 , third time 5 and then starts sleeping through. Teaches them you are there if they need you but have to go to sleep in own bed. First night tonight so we will see how goes. I am desperate for sleep.


Oct 05, 2011

Light at the end of the tunnel

by: Yana


hello ladies,
here I am, with a snotty 9 month old baby girl snoring next to me, wondering how much sleep I am going to get tonight. Even though she’s my second baby, I still struggle with the notion of not getting much sleep at night (you’d think I’d be used to it!!!). My son is 4 now and was an awful sleeper from
6 months till he turned 2 1/2 and cut his last tooth! I was up several times every night, getting the dummy back in, rocking him back to sleep etc. Then wham – last molar came through & he started to sleep through! Now he’s the best sleeper you could imagine, going down at 7, up at 6:30, not a peep in between. My daughter is a different story, she’s 9 months & been sleeping quite well the last couple of months. However, it all changed two weeks ago. Up several times at night, won’t go down in the evening unless I’m there etc. I have been tempted to let her cry it out, but previous experience tells me that it won’t work! :-) The best I can do is do exactly as I’m told! LOL But looking at my son now, I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Good night! :-)


Oct 10, 2011

help my 9 month old wont sleep

by: Anonymous


Hi there my baby girl does not sleep through the night either and never have done although i got more sleep when she was a newborn… she wakes up to 12 times a night sometimes . she has a dummy and the only way to settle her back is to give her a dummy im now starting think off trying the leaving her to cry method but not sure if i have the heart to do it..Im also a single mum so doing it on my own, i sometimes give up at 4am and put her into my bed. so if anyone has any gd good tips please it would be a great help. thanks


Oct 20, 2011

1st Time Mom

by: Newman


My daughter is currently 9 and half months and was a great sleeper until she turned 9 months, then she got a cold, then she started teething on the top (she already had bottom teeth), and i fear it has just become a habit to wake up at night. We went for 4 nights straight with her waking up at 1:30 am and not going back to sleep until 5 and i decided it is time to do something. We brought her to the doctor to make sure there was nothing wrong with her, and sure enough other than some left over reminants of cold she is fine.

So here is what i am currently doing, last night was night one of implementation and she slept until 3:30 and was back asleep by 4.

I made up a worksheet and until i get her to sleep through the night i am determined to write EVERYTHING down, feeding times, what she ate, how much she ate, nap times, bath times, bed times, and all of the middle of the night activity. We have a well check up in a week and half and i plan to bring this with me. Also this will help me see patterns in what i am doing and different things i try, hopefully i will start to see what works and what doesn’t.

Second piece of advice i got was not put her to bed earlier, so last night instead of a 9 o’clock bed time she was in bed by 8:30 (i tried even earlier than that but she wouldn’t have it, so i slowly plan to move this up until we get the right fit). The theory here is that if they get over tired they don’t sleep as well.

Third (and this morning will be the first time trying this) Wake them up at the same time every morning. Due to our schedules we have picked 7:30 am, even though it sucks on weekends I would rather be able to count on her sleeping until 7:30 then be up all night. The hope is that she will eventually start waking herself up and not have to be woken up.

Next-I know everyone says try to break the night feeding habit and that will probably be phase 2 or three of getting her to sleep all night, but for now when she woke up last night the first thing i did was give her a bottle, she wasn’t fully awake yet, and she didn’t finish it, but sure enough she went back to sleep and was still asleep when i left for work at 6:30am.

Feedings- evening feedings, especially for those eating solids. Give them their “dinner” (solids) 2-3 hours before you plan to put them to bed and their bottle at least a half hour before bedtime. The theory here is that no one likes to go to bed with a full belly, we want to go to be content and comforted.

las tip i have relates more to congestion than sleeping. But i have found Vicks on the Feet does more to cure congestion than anything else i have tried.

Good luck moms!


Oct 21, 2011

The 9 month-old mark

by: Carrie Davis


I can’t believe that so many share this same issue! It is truly a comfort just knowing that I am not alone and that there isn’t something I’ve seriously done wrong. My 9 month old son was an average sleeper- waking up around 2-3 times a night. Now it’s gone back to the newborn stage waking up 6-10 times at night. He’s recently learned to stand up in his crib and refuses to lie down. My boyfriend and I go upstairs lie him down and walk out of the room immediately. Obviously this angers him greatly. I thought that perhaps I was ‘giving in’ too much by feeding him on demand at night and decided to stop night feedings all together. The first night he cried it out for three hours without even getting tired. He’s definitely been experiencing some separation issues lately as everything has been about being in mommy’s arms. He’s also incredibly whiney!!!He truly makes it impossible for everyone in the family to sleep. We’re going to continue to stick it out and implement a routine (while comforting him when he needs it!) Hopefully this stage will pass soon! Stay strong fellow sleepless moms!


Oct 22, 2011

sleeping babies… or not!

by: Linda


Here’s a surprise my 8 and a half month daughter doesn’t sleep either! I’m so tired I could cry some days! She woke last night at 2.30 am and simply wouldn’t go back to sleep, completely wide awake. As my partner works I had to get up and take her down stairs until she became tired again. I could barely keep my eyes open. It was over an hour ’til she became sleepy, then she was awake again a couple of hours later. I dread bedtimes! I don’t sleep well as I am aware that any minute she could wake. I have a good bedtime routine. She barely sleeps during the day either. I have tried all the suggestions given, nothing works! I just live in hope that she will grow out of it???? Oh the joys! x


Oct 26, 2011

my new trick
by: nicole in paris


Hey all – I can relate to these comments so much and actually I feel so much better about the fact that i am up at 4 am right now but not alone!

I would love to hear from the moms who posted a year ago to hear if things have improved, but I will assume so and that they have moved on to different topics.

anyway, my new trick for my girl to sleep is the stroller. I put her in when she wakes up, lie it flat and push it back and forth for about 10 minutes and she actually falls asleep!!!

This is a baby that I walk in her room and she is standing up in her crib, grinning and bouncing! She is nine months old and 2 weeks.

sweet dreams!


Oct 27, 2011

Great trick!

by: Paula (Baby Help Line)


Hi Nicole!

That is a great trick! I used it myself when my baby was slightly younger and refused to sleep. Just one thing – since your daughter is 9 months old, do lift her over to her crib once she is in deep sleep. She could easily get injured if she wakes up and stands or sit up.

It is nice to get some rest, don’t you think :-)

Paula


Oct 31, 2011

Same problems and maybe a further solution?

by: Mike


Great comments and nice to know we are not on our own! Our little boy is so different from our daughter who slept through without any issues! He already has 4 teeth through and another on the way which has caused some of the hourly and 2 hourly get ups but more recently I think separation anxiety has set in which makes it hard for me as his dad as he much prefers his mum – still, sticking at it for now with co-sleeping. One thing that I did do with my daughter was compose a very simple tune which repeated over and over again on a CD. As a music teacher I was aware that at this age a babies brain is very active and that by listening to a very structured short lullaby it helped to refocus the brain. Not sure how well this will work for my son but definitely worked for my daughter. So, about to start trying it today – only using at bed time not for day naps. If anyone would like a copy to try, I did give to others before and seemed to have some success. If you email me I can try to send you an MP3 of it – it will drive you potty to start with as very repetitive but anything is worth a go?!! My email is mikegarlick@ymail.com
All the best to everyone and will let you know how we get on as well!


Nov 21, 2011

9 month old boy
by: Anonymous


its like 1 something in the morning and i put my 9 month old boy down at 9:00 at night like i always do and then he got up at 10:30 and he hasnt slept since…i am so tired iv tried everything a bottle,let him cry in his crib, nothing has worked all he wants to do is crawl all over the house and play with everything…..any IDEAS on what to do…


Nov 21, 2011

9 month baby night owl

by: Paula (Baby Help Line)


To you who posted on Nov 21,

What a little night owl you have! Our youngest did something similar, although he preferred to be wake between 3.30 am and 7 am. And then it was time for the rest of the family (myself included) to get up. Very exhausting!

A few ideas that come to my mind is how much he naps during day time and how much outdoor activity he gets. Our youngest was a great napper – too great it turned out. He did too much of his sleeping during the day and when we fixed that, his night sleep became much better. You’ll find a baby sleep schedule to compare with here.

Also, if possible, make sure he gets a lot of outdoor activity during the day. The more the better. Get him really good clothes and take him to a playground, the forest, or where ever where he will get daylight, activity and fresh air.

Then at night, make sure it is very dark where he sleeps and that he in neither too warm or too cold. 9 months old often sleep well in a pajama so they won’t get cold if they kick off their blanket.

Well, these were a few ideas, I hope they help. Let us know about your progress and do come back if you need more help.

Warm wishes,

Paula


Nov 24, 2011

9 month old sleep solutions?

by: Carol


Hi, there never seems to be more than 2 good weeks of sleep at a time for my little one.

The 2 biggest things that helped solve months and months of poor sleep
1) Sheyne Rowley’s book

2) investing in a Safe T sleep wrap and tucking in tight (plus my baby still likes to be ‘angel wrapped’)

anyway, the book that has helped me immensely and has some amazing theories about food, play, communication and how this affects sleep is
Dream Baby Guide by Sheyne Rowley…can not recommend it highly enough but we just need to remember that not one size fits all and still to go with our heart if in doubt.

at 6 months i went from wakings every 1-2 hours over 9 weeks to 0-1 wake ups per night (with some slight hiccups now and then). It wasn’t without some tears..never did CIO but gave in to CC to save my sanity and relationship! The book advocates role play and communication to avoid all tears.

good luck and thanks for all the posts….helps me feel ‘normal’ and reminded me tonight not to let go of the very nurturing side of me rather than fear creating bad habits – having said that I really understand now the importance of self settling and how to read settling cries vs behavioural vs emotional cries (read Sheyne’s book!)

good luck everyone


Dec 15, 2011

9 mth old wont sleep

by: first time mum


hi everyone im so happy i finally found good honest mothers im sick of hearing how everyone elses babies are sleeping through the night. My 9mth old girl has never ever slept through the night i have done everything except let her cry herself to sleep. She gets a bath then a story and we both lie on the bed and listen to music she goes to sleep quite easy sometimes in her cot and sometimes in my bed but she wakes up 1 hour later and it is like it is the middle of the day i will get her back to bed usually after 1 hour. She wakes up anything from 3-4 times a night then. She has never being a great eater she hated her bottles and suffered what we thought colic for 16 weeks but we went and got allergy testing done and found out that she is unable to break down milk so she is on special milk. My daughter means everything to my and to be honest sometimes its nice to be woken by a cute smiling face looking at you. That other lady is right they grow up so fast im going to enjoy our cute cuddies and hope they never end. I


Dec 21, 2011

truble sleeping

by: Anonymous


i am having a very hard time to put my 9mo old son to sleep day or night, he just fights so hard. i can see that he is tired and sleepy, but he just won’t give up. i hold him and sing to him, but he doesn’t want to sleep. please any advise?


Dec 28, 2011

Try some music

by: Stay at home dad


With Child number one she never slept, at all, no naps no nothing. But with her I was diligent as could be sticking with whatever routine we had at the time. But what I did was I got a few classical cd’s and always played it during nap time and bed time. Eventually that became her cue, when ever she hears a classical song she thinks of bed time.

Child number two is a nightmare, just like his sister, the only difference is that he is much more dependent. He just started the 9 month wake every few hours etc routine, so this is day four and tomorrow starts the music training. This may or may not work, but it kinda adds the whole routine, down out extra noise thing.

Good luck moms! And get your husband to help out if you can, all nighters are easier when you can alternate days. If you can afford to have your spouse take a few days off to really get a routine set at night and share some of the burden. It may not fix it but you will both feel better after the few days off.


Jan 03, 2012

put a pillow in the crib

by: Anonymous


to the woman who said put a pillow in the crib with the baby…..DONT ever do that. that’s a great way to suffocate your infant…duh.


Jan 06, 2012

Sleep problems
by: Anonymous


My first slept through the night at 6 months.
My second never slept more than an hour at a time. We charted his sleep, and he was sleeping 8 hours a day — 2 hours of naps and 6 hours total at night — never more than 1-2 hours at a time.
Well, we pushed and fought and it turned out he had severe obstructive sleep apnea. He is 3 now and only wakes up 2 times a night.

Baby 3 is driving me in sane though. Same thing, charted his sleep — he only sleeps 6 hours total a day!!! I really need more sleep than that. He takes a 2 hour nap in the morning, and then at night he goes to bed at 12, and then wakes up at 1, 2, 4 and is up for the day at 6. I don’t know what to do. The doctors refuse to test him for sleep apnea (which I don’t really think he has) but I can’t figure out how to get him to sleep.

To top that off, I am a work at home mother, who can’t work — because I work when the baby sleeps!

I’ve tried cry it out, i’ve tried putting him to sleep sleepy, and none of it works.

Any advice?


Jan 20, 2012

I’m going through exactly the same as all of you.

by: Trina


My ds is 9 months exactly he’s just got over an ear infection and has been quite happy. But the problem i have is that he wakes up every night now at about 12am and then wakes every hour after that im so exhausted myself being a single mum with my ds and a 3 year old little girl. I’m only in a two bed and my daughter sleeps in my room with me as she is also a poor sleeper waking at about 4 am every morning and just wont go back to sleep on top of that my son is awake from 12 am and then all through the night. But i have had to put my daughter in my room as they would both wake each other up then it would be a constant battle to get them both to sleep.

I am really really exhausted to be honest only surviving if im lucky on two hours sleep a night.
My son has always been a bad sleeper i dreaded the 3-4 hourly feeds but now to me that would be bliss. Never thought i would say that either.

I’m glad i’m not alone but i don’t know how to get him back to sleep have tried everything crying it out going in 10 mins stroking his face. then leaving just to reasure him this normally works but not now. Normally after the 10 minutes i will leave it 20 minutes then repeat the same thing normally after the third time he is asleep but it’s not working now at all

I really need some advice am so so tired and exhausted. Although i am glad im not the only one going through this. So when i’m up with him i will now keep thinking to myself i’m not alone loads of other mums are going through this too. Which does make me feel a bit better. But it’s just the tiredness that im struggling with i’m forgetting things every couple of days even occasionally what i was going to get from another room.

have fallen up the stairs due to tiredness as well
just do not know what else to do anymore it’s frustrating because i want to feed him give him a bottle but i tried this month or so back and that didn’t even work plus he wouldn’t take all of it so i know it’s not hunger. I know he has just got over an illness but he’s over it now and i just dont understand why.

Help please :/


Jan 23, 2012

9 month old son wont sleep anymore

by: Anonymous


I’m so pleased I’m not the only one who has a 9 mth old that wont sleep i thought it was just me doing something wrong x he has slept through the night from age of 4 mth when he went in his own room i put him 2 bed at 6pm and he would sleep til 6am but since he hit the age of 9mths old i put him to bed as normal and as soon as i turn the light out he screams i have 2 bring him back downstairs he goes to sleep on my knee by 7.15pm hes asleep i carry him up hes in bed til about 11pm then he wakes crying so ends up in bed with me and my husband i have left him to cry once and he ended up waking his 3yr old sister so i had both up not good x im hoping he will grow out of it.


Jan 23, 2012

My now 13 months old

by: Yana


Hello,
Just thought I’d write an update on my DD and perhaps give some Mums hope! I posted on this thread 4 months ago when my DD was not sleeping through the night. She’s 13 months now and she’s sleeping through pretty much every night now. Some nights she stirs but I give her the dummy back & she goes back to sleep. I’m not sure exactly why it changed. Perhaps the fact that she’s got her first set of molars through now (all four of them), and stopped teething? Saying that, I thought her eye teeth were on the way…. Her bedtime routine changed ever so slightly, maybe that helps… As she’s my second child, I used to just put get down with a dummy and leave the room, so that I could get on with putting my 4 year old to bed. Now I spend a bit more time with her giving her a nice cuddle in a dark room then putting her down. She doesn’t cry when I put her down anymore. Sometimes I wonder if going to sleep happy helps? By the time I figured out what helps, she’ll be in high school!

LOL I just thought my story might make someone feel better that perhaps their LO will just start sleeping through very soon!
Good luck to all!
Yana


Feb 07, 2012

There is still hope
by: Anonymous


To all the sleepless night MOM,

I have posted my comments six months ago when my son was 9 months old. I was desperate and I came across this site and thought I could seek advice from parents that had gone through the same situation as myself but of course, I should have known, if you didn’t have a problem you wouldn’t have been on this site like myself.

Anyway, I thought there wasn’t any light at the end of the tunnel but I was wrong. There is hope so don’t be despair.

Since my son was born, he needed to be held and walked in order to fall asleep. Just last month (14 months old), as usual, I walked him to sleep but I notice he was trying to fight back when I held him in the sleeping position.

And obviously, I was getting tire and upset cause he was heavy so I decided to put him on my bed and I laid next to him and to my surprise he felt asleep in about an hour without crying. Trust me, I had tried many methods in the past and nothing works. I think like my old folk said they will eventually do it on their own.


Feb 10, 2012

What a wonderful site!

by: Jes


Hi everyone, have been reading all the posts and thought I was doing something wrong until now. Let me guess, 9 month transition is NORMAL. LOL This makes me feel so much better.

Emily was a perfect baby until a week ago. She slept from the minute I put her in the cot (day or night) and would sleep 2 hours in the morning, 2 hours after lunch and then about 6 hours straight during the night. I thought I was struggling with 6 hours sleep – but now I miss getting 6 hours straight!

She is waking hourly now, which doesn’t help as I work full time now. I find that I am up and down all night, then up getting ready for work at 4:30am.

I am so tired. But have just started my new job. Part of me thinks it will be over soon and just ride it out, but the other part can’t concentrate during the day because I am so tired.

I am breastfeeding in the morning and at night when I get home from work. During the day she has a bottle as well as cereal and meals. I am worried she is starving by bedtime – but even with a full belly she will not settle.

She has recently got 2 bottom teeth and ‘Miss Independent’ is standing in the cot and thinks she is going to miss out on something.

Suppose I just keep on keeping on and see how she goes – use my weekends to catch up on sleep??? I will definitely come back soon and let you know how I go!

* She was such a perfect baby * :(


Feb 14, 2012

it will all get better with time

by: Kaeley


My son will be 10 months in two weeks and since he was a newborn would wake up once to be fed and fall asleep thirty minutes later when I would put him to bed around ten and would be up by seven am now that he is older and has teeth coming out I’m not so lucky although I’m not complaining because I know it could be A lot worse.

Reading all these comments helps me to realize it pretty much is a phase they are going through he will wake up and just stare at me he never cries he has always been beyond amazing but when it comes to sleep he will wake up again at three am and once again just roll around in the bed until he is good and ready to fall back asleep and I have tried everything food baths massages a lot of cuddling but I just have come to realize he is his own person and has his own way of doing things and he will eventually grow out of this so moms and dads keep your heads up and eyes open

lol it can’t last forever and when those moments are gone we are gonna miss em!


Feb 17, 2012

Wow
by: Anonymous


Wow, I cried as I read all these comments. I really thought I was the only mum going through such utter exhaustion.

My near 8 month boy has never slept for more than 20 minutes in the day, and has always woken every 2 – 3 hours at night, not going back to sleep till he has fed.

Every mum from my group has let their babies ‘cry it out’ and I am so fed up with people telling me I should let my baby cry at night to ‘train’ him to sleep. (I feel they think it’s my own fault that I’m so tired because I won’t let him cry back to sleep).

I really felt I was doing something wrong by going with my instinct and giving my baby what he needs, and I am so happy to read that I am not alone.

Hang on in there all. I know It does get better, and I keep telling myself that!

Add 2 teenagers in as well, and you’ll understand why I’m so tired!!… .And also fed up hearing about other people’s babies sleeping through, and then complaining that they woke up at 6am!! ARGGGHHHH!!


Feb 20, 2012

Okay for the baby, But what about mum?
by: MumsMatter


I understand that babies need comfort, reassurance and food. But waking every two or three hours for up to two years seems extreme. If I am not able to function due to lack of sleep, then how I am qualified to take care of a baby. Some women are saying they did it and you need to just UNDERSTAND. I find that disheartening. Understanding does not aid my health, my happiness. My baby girl is the most important thing person in my life but she shares that number one spot with me. If I’m no good for me, I’m definably not good for her. That being said, what advice do you have to offer a rational person who understands her baby’s needs need to be met, but those needs are ailing her mothers mental, emotional and physical health? Not interested in super hero answers.


Feb 20, 2012

To MumsMatter
by: Paula (Baby Help Line)


Hi MumsMatter,

I agree with you completely. There is a limit to how poor sleep a person can have and still function. Personally I was almost going crazy when my 10 month old daughter woke up every hour to breastfeed.

At around that age (earlier for some, later for some) a baby really doesn’t need to eat at night though. And therefor it is entirely possible to teach them to sleep better with out letting them cry it out.

What we did with two of children was to let dad take over the night time waking. I slept with ear plugs… We decided that he would try to comfort our child for 5 minutes, it that didn’t work, she or he would be allowed to come to the breast.

But even just the first night of trying, my daughter fell asleep in his arms instead of mine every time but twice. To my very big surprise! And within a few nights she woke up a lot less. A month later she woke up only once.

Our youngest son was easier. We let him co-sleep with dad instead of mom and he just stopped nursing at night. He was 10 month then. We tried when he was 8 months too, but that didn’t work out at all.

So, I don’t think, in most cases, it is at all necessary to wake up every second hour for two years. And you don’t have to cry it out to get rid of the feeding. But it is a lot easier if you are two people who can help out. Either the mom and dad, or if you are a single mom or dad, to ask a grandparent, for example, to help out during a couple of nights.

Hope this helps,

Paula


Feb 20, 2012

Update

by: Newman


I wrote a comment a few months ago about the steps i was taking to get my then 9 month old to sleep through the night. We struggled from 9-10 months with getting our beautiful baby to sleep, honestly i even gave in and tried to let her cry it out, that lasted about a week and i gave that up, it only seemed to make things worse and she started to hate bed time all together. What finally worked was placing a bottle of water in bed with her, so when she woke up she would find the bottle and suck on that. I got this advice from my doctor who after looking at everything i had written down about her habits said we were doing everything right, and that maybe she just needed something to drink at night, but he wanted me to refrain from giving her milk so that she didn’t become dependent on having that during the night. And it worked for about 2 and half months she slept (or we didn’t have to get up with her) from the time we put her to bed at 8 until 7:30-8:00am.

The bad news. At the age of one my daughter has once again developed some bad sleeping habits…She now wants to wake up at 3:00am, but only every other night, I think it has something to do with us switching her to milk, but we are still trying to figure it out, so our spreadsheets are back out. But all in all things have gotten much better. So Hang in there moms i know you need sleep, i know how hard it is to work when you have been up all night, I work full time as well. You can do it.


Mar 04, 2012

Cry it out?! Cuddle them 24/7?? What to do when NOTHING works!
by: Anonymous


So, I have read countless books on getting your baby to sleep and have tried tirelessly a number of the strategies suggested. They worked with my first, he was a great sleeper after about 6 mths of age and remains such to this day, 6 yrs later!

I now have a 9 mth old daughter and she has been a NIGHTMARE since the day she was born. In fact, the DAY she was born she actually didn’t sleep for 11 hrs! Needless to say after 9 mths of very few naps and being up numerous times a night we’re at our wits end! She has actually gotten to the point where she will SCREAM uncontrolably for over an hour if we let her. B/c she’s so beyond exhausted, bouncing her, rocking her singing etc does not work… it just over stimulates her and causes her to get more frustrated. I feel like I’m going crazy and am also very worried and sad for her! She even gets so tired and stressed that she pulls her hair out. I am very worried and I KNOW there is something more to this than just a baby who doesn’t want to sleep… I’m worried that if I talk to my Dr. about it they will just asume Im tired and that she’s just not a sleeper. I know my baby and I know when she is tired and that she NEEDS the sleep she is refusing. What do I do?!?!?!


Mar 05, 2012

9 month old baby waking up
by: Anonymous


my baby boy as soon as i leave the room he wakes up and screammmmms his head off until i pick him up… finally he’ll go to sleep… then wake up around 10 or 12, and scream, scream, scream,scream…. so i get to the point where i’m like MOM IS TIRED, come sleep with me… and as soon as hes snuggled next to me, he sleeps til 7am the next morning.


Mar 16, 2012

I am with you all!
by: wiccanmom


Our little man is a cancer with a leo moon, and a pisces rising. Which translates to: clingy, emotional, needs lots of attention and very sensative. More so than other babies I have known :)

What helped for us when he went through collic was putting him in a wrap, like the Moby, that way he could be close to us and block out stimuli, sometimes this was the only way to make him nap or go to bed.

We bed-share the last half of the night because it is just easier for me, I wake before he does and I am able to soothe him and fall back asleep very quickly.

But at 8 months he is too big for the wrap now, but he goes to sleep quite easily, usually by nursing or if he is tired enough, a bottle and some rocking.

He DOES wake up every hour and a half after midnight however. Well, he doesn’t really wake up, he gets very very restless and searches for my breast in his sleep, if I don’t wake up and give him boob or a pacifier, then he starts to cry.

I am so glad to find other moms in the same boat! I do let him cry over other things, when he is physically frustrated at his limitation, or when he falls but I know he’s not really hurt, and because of this he is not a “whiny” baby, when he cried it is for a legitimate reason, like hunger or pain, or if he really really needs us.

After finding this sight I am not going to let him cry anything out, I will deal with being a little more tired, This sight should confirm for us all that it is normal for them to wake frequently and that they will grow out of it.

I send much love and blessings to you all, way to go moms!


Mar 19, 2012

sleepymommy
by: kim


OMG! This site is amazing! My nine month old boy is teething but has never been a great sleeper..We are waking up 3,4,5,6,7 times a night with him. I am home alone with him 2-3 nights a week, so being on my own is awful. We are so tired and can’t wait until this phase hopefully passes. I never thought I wouldnt have a good night sleep in 9 months!!!!!!! Happy to know other moms are suffering through the same thing!Hang in there!


Mar 20, 2012

Need sleep to find mojo again….
by: Vicki in Adelaide


Well it’s been 6 months since I last posted and Natasha is still not sleeping – the baby whisperer book did not work – she likes to hold my hair so that put an end to that – controlled crying (and I hate those words) worked well and we got a couple of weeks with a couple of days with no waking but then the chicken pox arrived the day after her first birthday and now we are back to waking – not as bad as before only once or twice (4-5 times a night before) but it is nearly a year now since I had a good night sleep and once you get to breaking point seems it takes more than one night to get your mojo back. I seem to catch every illness around – hopefully doesn’t last for too much longer……..

So to sum up – is getting better but still need sleep – there is hope out there so don’t despair.


Mar 21, 2012

Tip
by: Anonymous


My 9 month old baby girl has the same problem. She has yet to get her first teeth and she is constantly waking up probably due to the teething. I did a lot of researching and read a lot about giving chamomile tea to babies to calm them and I noticed that the times I gave her tea she woke up much less during the night. My mother also gave me an old remedy used by many in Mexico for years to induce sleep in babies. She says to take lettuce leaves and boil them in a pot of water. Then you wait until the water is warm and you have the baby bathe in that water. It is supposed to have a very calming therapeutic effect on them. My grandmother had 15 children if you can believe it so I’m sure she must have tried everything!


Mar 26, 2012

9 month still doesn’t sleep
by: Ready to snap


My 9 month old girl has never been a good sleeper from day #1. We have tried consistent naps which sometimes she will nap 20-30min and if a short am nap then I am luck if 1 hour in the afternoon. She goes to bed every night around 7:30- 8pm. We are going on over 9 months of getting up 3-6 times per night. I have read books on sleep and we have tried weaning her bottle, letting her cry, letting her cry going in at intervals and it seems to be getting worse. She used to wake up several times and go back to sleep a little easier and now it’s an 1.5 -2.5 hours she is awake everynight at varying times screaming and crying then entire time. We have talked to our family doctor with no results..they thought it may be acid reflux so they started her on prevacid and had a barium swallow which showed nothing. I am really at the end of the rope. Any help would be greatly appreciated even though I think we have tried it all! Lavander, white noise….ect. HELP!!!!!!!!


Mar 28, 2012

It is difficult sleep deprived but it will pass
by: from a very sleep deprived mum.


my older son is almost 4 now and he was the same as all those 9mth olds out there who dont sleep,want to wake up and play, decide that at 5am they want to wake up, he stayed like that till he was 2 and a half and now is a very good sleep but still wakes up sometimes at night calling out for me(and only me) to calm him down after he dreams. I now have a 9mth old who is worse than my other son, he wakes up to breastfeed about 4-5 times a night, sleeps in my bed( which might i add is much more sensible than having to get out of a warm bed god knows how many times a night)and if i move around in bed he feels me and wakes too, but i am reassured that he will settle down in the end. They are only young once and they do grow out of it eventually. I understand everyones frustration and we all need sleep, believe me i havent slept properly for about 4 years now lol. My advice would be dont let them cry it out, its cruel, especially if they have been with you up to 9mths and then they go in there own room and expect to have to do it themselves. try and get some rest during the day whilst they are in the playpen or napping, even if it is only watching tv on the sofa, and dont overdo your housework, that can wait till another day. Enjoy your children whilst you can, its only the first few years.


Mar 29, 2012

Is this separation anxiety?

by: Mommie Of 2


My daughter is 9 months almost 10.. she has always slept through he night. i put her to bed at 7:30 or 8pm and she sleeps till 7:30am the next morning, i know this was rare most kids dont do this. Now i cant do anything shes always crying following me everywhere. i hold her and shes usually fine. now she wont go to bed until 11pm. any suggestions what i should do to calm her and make it easier for her to go to bed at a normal hour like before?


Mar 30, 2012

ans to mother of 2
by: mum of 2


Did you put her in her own room? if so she probably is suffering from separation from you, if that is the case put her back in your room until she is a little older, you have plenty of time for that.

she might also be suffering from teething now between 6-10 mths are the worst for teething my ped said. my youngest son is the same age as yours 9ths and he is teething, some days he is fine and others is a nightmare, clingy, moaning, winging, wont play, wont eat. just try and stick to the routine as best as possible, maybe when she is like that try giving her some calpol and see if it settles her or teething gel.

other than that all i can say is babies change their routine from time to time so she will prob go back to it eventually, just have patience. and if you are still concerned, contact your dr just for a check up.

good luck

p.s. my son has never slept through the night in 9 mths so think yourself lucky you got this far!!


Mar 31, 2012

wearing baby before sleep.
by: Anonymous


Last night my nine month old wanted to clap hands (her new skill) instead of sleep at bedtime. After about an hour of trying to get her to sleep, I gave up, put her in a backpack, wore her around the house while I cleaned up the kitchen, etc. about 30-45 min later she started wimpering a little in the backpack. As soon as I took her out of the backpack and popped the pacifier in, she fell asleep. I didn’t have to do anything!


Apr 03, 2012

Omg ..I am not alone

by: Anonymous


hi…iam not alone i see that you guys are goin tru the same thing….my 9 month baby girl used to sleep the whole nite when she was 2 month -5month but now if shes not in our bed….i try leting her cry but that hurt her …the next dat she couldnt cry…what do i do ? I think that is because we share the same room….some body help me please


Apr 04, 2012

Solution!!

by: Anonymous


Hope it works for you! My daughter use to sleep so well but she is now 9 months and waking up several times in the night… Recently we stayed at a friends while visiting and they had a very loud fan in the spare bedroom. the next morning I felt amazinly rested. Them humming of the stand up fan (directed towards the wall) helped her sleep, every since it has been the best solution to my 7.5 hr sleeps ever night! It’s worth a try, hope it helps you!!


May 29, 2012

Thankful for your postings
by: Anonymous


I have a 9 month old baby girl who does not sleep all night and I cannot do the cry it out method. I do not get support from my husband as he and his family believe babies should just be left to scream and “learn a lesson”

It’s hard, but I love my baby girl and before you know it she’ll be grown not want to snuggle and be soothed.

I want to enjoy every minute of my babies and never rush a thing.

She is great with co-sleeping but my husband is not supportive of this either. I sleep so much better if I co-sleep with her.

It can be challenging but I chose to have children and I can deal with the tuff and amazing times both equally.

I think all the moms on here are truly amazing mommies and want the best for their lil buppies.

As they say, this too shall pass, and you’ll actually look back and fondly remember all the moments with your precious lil bundle.


Jul 01, 2012

Thank you moms
by: Heather


Just wanted to say thank you to all you moms out there with 9 month olds who rarely sleep. I too have a 9 month old daughter who wakes up every 3 hours and who only cat naps durning the day. I have always kept her on a bath, bottle with cereal routine, but she still wakes up. I dont care what all these “professionals” say… I think it is HORRID to let a poor innocent baby scream and cry. they are just babies. I have a 3 year old son, and my husband and I always comforted and soothed him… and he started sleeping through the night at 4 months. and to this day, he is the most secure little 3 year old ive ever seen. just keep in mind that every baby is different… but to let your baby cry for over 10 to 15 minutes, in my eyes, is just teaching a poor innocent baby that her mommy is not there to comfort and reassure her that she is safe. so too all you moms that believe in comforting …. i give 2 thumbs up! remember, no one ever said being a mommy was easy!


Jul 26, 2012

my nine month old doesn’t sleep

by: Anonymous


My son is nine months old and doesn’t sleep through the night. Since birth, he has never slept no more than three hours straight. I have talked with my pediatrician since he was born about him never sleeping and she said some babies requires less sleep than others. I cried in the doctors office because that wasn’t the answer that I was looking for. I guess I was looking for her to prescribe something to help one of sleep…at this point, I don’t care which one of us it is..lol. She stated that since he is 25lbs and seem to be exceeding his milestone, that there was nothing that they could do. I am a single mother of three (14, 7, 9mths) and he has been the only one of my kids that has been giving me a hard time. I still love him to death and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. I can’t do the letting him cry himself to sleep, because I don’t think he knows that mommy is tired and about to lose it at any minute. And sometimes I feel that if something is really wrong and I have let him cry.. then I could never forgive myself for it. I am praying that this pass soon, because now my work is suffering from sleep deprevation. I am also glad that I found this page because now I know that my baby is normal. I was wondering for minute that he wasn’t. Thanks again for everyone posting their comments, because it has really help me cope better with the situation.


Aug 11, 2012

Ferber-ize!

by: G-man


Trust me when I say, I feel for you all! My wife and I (mainly my wife as she did all the work breast-feeding) were at our wits end feeding our baby every couple of hours every night.

We read Dr. Ferber’s book “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” and also read “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” (Weissbluth). Both methods help do the same thing: break your baby’s sleep associations (rocking to sleep, feeding to sleep, etc.) and allow your baby to learn to self-soothe and go to sleep on their own. The only difference is Ferber’s method allows you to go in to reassure your baby at increasing intervals, while Weissbluth basically advises to let her cry it out.

At 7 months we chose to try the Ferber method and put our baby to bed -awake, fed, and after her usual bed time to ensure she was tired. I was expecting a 2-3 hour ordeal, but she fell asleep after 40 minutes the first night, 30 minutes the next night, and almost immediately the 3rd night. AND, as Dr. Ferber had predicted, she rarely wakes up at night.

We now put her to bed a 8:00 and when our daughter does wake up, we decided to use Weisbluth’s method and not go into her room at all unless she’s been crying for more than 40 minutes -which has yet to happen. We also eliminated the evening nap and that has allowed us to move her bedtime from about 10:00 to 8:00.

So, I recommend the Ferber method to anyone who asks. It worked for us and many others from whom I heard about the method. This method was also recommended by our pediatrician. Note: it will work on any healthy baby over 5-6 months of age. Babies under 4 months are physically unable to self-soothe.

And as for naps… unfortunately the morning nap has become a real issue for us as of late and I’ll have to get back to y’all when we’ve figured that one out!

I hope this helps.


Oct 11, 2012

Any better?
by: Anonymous


Sara,

Did you ever come back and let us all know what happened? Have things gotten any better?


Oct 15, 2012

Update

by: G-man


Hi All:

Since my last post, night sleeps are still excellent. We put our daughter down between 7:30 and 8:00 and she sleeps until about 6:30. She rarely wakes up, and when she does it lasts only a few minutes, almost always around midnight, doing her “complaining moan.” Unless, she is screaming, which only happened once so far and she is 11 months now, we don’t go into her room at all. So again, the Ferber method was a God-send for us.

As for the naps, we read several places that consistency is key (as we all know) and 9:00 am and 1:00 pm work the best. We tried this and it worked for us. It did take a couple of days to kick in. We don’t go in at all for at least 30 minutes. If she’s still crying after 30 min we took her outdand she missed that nap. If she was doing her moaning thing after the 30 min, we let her stay for another 10 minutes to see what happens. Again, at first it was hard to hear her cry, but it kicked in after a few days. Now she usually goes down without any fuss. The odd time she complains for a few minutes, but then sweet glorious silence. Yay!

Hope this helps too.


Oct 19, 2012

arg!

by: Anonymous


My 9-month old will not sleep either! She wakes up and throws her binky. cries for it and when i give it to her she goes right back to sleep only to do it again 20 minutes later. It is maddening!!


Dec 30, 2012

No sleep in 9 months
by: Kelly


I am so unbelievably thrilled that I have found this website that I actually came to work today talking about it and the new outlook it has given me. Some of the advice I have read has really taught me how to be a better mom and the mom that my son needs. My son is 9 1/2 months old and I can count on one hand how many times he has slept “through the night.” I work full time, and I take a lot of pride in my job, and the sleepless nights are really wearing on me. It is very comforting to know that I am not the only one out there because, with the people I talk to in my every day life, who also have kids, it appears that I’m the only one who is struggling with a baby who won’t sleep consistently. I am a therapist, and I do not believe in the cry it out method considering studies show it causes anxiety and attachment issues. Of course this is only my opinion, but I am not one to allow my baby to sob uncontrollably in a crib without responding to him. Also, he is 9 months old now and completely knows who my husband and I are and expects us to respond to his needs so knowing that he is in there all alone breaks my heart. Since reading everyone’s comments, I am now going to be the mother that my son needs me to be rather than the mom that books tell me I need to be. I’m going to be the mom I know I am vs. the mom my friends are. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have read all these comments last night, for hours mind you, and to have emmerged with a lot of hope that it will get better, but when HE wants it to. I don’t have any other advice to offer that has not already been documented, but I hope everyone can keep there head up and please come back to update us; I know I will. Sincerely, Kelly, Pennsylvania


Dec 31, 2012

can’t wait til he gets his teeth and can talk…
by: Anonymous


Here’s my summary of month 9 we’re experiencing so far:

Diaper
Whine
whine
cry
eat
diaper
play
play
whine
play
fake out nap for 5 seconds
whine
whine
play
cry
whine
whine
Diaper
Eat
whine
whine
Diaper
Short nap
whine
Play
Diaper
whine
whine
whine
Whine

…. and that’s before 6pm.

Night time has been a nightmare. I am the night owl, but even so, getting him settled and to sleep at all is wearing me out.

I will never in my life ever wish i could go back to the time he was 9 months old. By far the worst month yet.

Bring on the walking, talking and teeth already so i can actually communicate and do more things with my son.

Any legal baby tranquilizers out there?


Jan 22, 2013

Light at end of tunel!

by: Rebecca, London


Hi All,
I found this thread a life-saver when my baby wouldn’t sleep and so I wanted to come back on and post after things have got better and offer some suggestions.
My baby (now 10 months, troubles sleeping from 8 months) would not sleep on her own AT ALL. She would only sleep in bed with us. She would also wake ALL THE TIME for bottle, cuddles, to kick me in the face, whatever took her fancy. This went on for about 2 months and so I decided things had to change. I did not want to CIO as she had cried for 2 hours before and was beside herself, as was I.
So, what I did was create a day-time ritual which we stick to WHATEVER HAPPENS and she is now sleeping through. our routine is;
Wake up
Brekky at 8am
Nap at 9.30-10.30/11
1pm lunch
2-4pm nap
6pm dinner
7pm bath
7.30pm bed
We did this solidly for about 3 weeks with her stil not sleeping and then suddenly BANG through the night she went. She is still having her bottles through the day as well and I upped these for 180ml to 210ml which also seems to have helped to make her less hungry through the night. She was never the biggest eater of solids either when she wasn’t sleeping, so someone suggested I offer her lots of finger food whilst feeding her more filling things at the same time. As long as she has things to feed herself whilst I’m shoveling in the porridge/stew/fish pie she will usually take whatever I give her, again meaning she is less hungry at night. I’m not suggesting I have the magic answers, but it’s worth a try if you don’t already have a military type routine in place in the day. It worked for us and a few weeks ago I was one of the women DESPERATE with sleep deprivation who thought her baby would never sleep, or would never sleep without being I the bed with me, spending most of the night patting my face and pulling my hair.
It’s as though as she knows what’s coming, and she’s more full, she doesn’t think we’re going to run off in the night and leave her!
Best of luck mums, and fingers crossed it gets better for all of you soon.
Rebecca


Feb 29, 2013

Be careful with the bed sharing

by: Nikki


With my first child I was one of the people trying everything in my power to get my baby to sleep more than a couple hours at night. I let him cry to find it just upset him more, I tried strict daily routines, and finally went to bed sharing. This did work how ever…… at the age of two this is what he got used and would only sleep in my bed. You think a 9 month old at night crying is bad, try a 2 year old. This went on and on. Ladies my son is now 8, yes 8. No he doesn’t sleep in my room every night but he tries. Everything form “I’m scared” to “I miss you” I was a young parent and somewhere along the way i should have changed something and didn’t. So int turn I created a monster. I now have a 9 month old girl who will will fall asleep at 730 and wake up at 10 screaming like crazy. I refuse to bring her into my bed due to my past experience. I am working nightly to find some other alternative. Just a heads up moms so you dont make the same mistake I did.


Mar 18, 2013

What a pickle!

by: Andrew


Our nine month old was sleeping through the night after about six weeks, but since entering her seventh and eighth months, that was happened less often. Now at nine months, she wakes up screaming at night, and the cry-it-out system does nothing. to make matters worse, I recently had back surgery and cannot pick up our daughter, leaving my wife to get up with her. This is putting extra stress on her, and I feel guilty even though the surgery was necessary and she encouraged me to have it. But each night I am up am shuffling to the bottom of the steps to listen in as she comforts our little one. Thinking about some oatmeal to supplement the bottle before bed, or a few extra ounces to tide her over, because I think she’s going through a growth spurt and wants to eat overnight. Is this a ridiculous theory? Experienced parents, please let me know!


Aug 04, 2013

sleeping problem..

by: Nursing Pads


My baby is almost 9 months old and has terrible sleeping issues! She goes to bed at about 8pm every night, after a bath and a bottle, and sleeps for about 50 minutes (it’s crazy, but it is like clockwork!), then sleeps for about 1 1/2 hours then wakes. She continues this pattern until 5:30am. Please help me! I don;t know what to do…and crying it out is NOT an option for me.


Aug 17, 2013

STOP LEAVING THEM ALONE!
by: Mom of 8+ months baby


It’s separation anxiety. When you leave them alone, you’re going against a very normal developmental need for human contact.

http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html

http://www.bobafamily.com/research/exterogestation-and-the-need-to-be-held/


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