8 Month Old Baby Still Not Sleeping Through The Night

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8 Month Old Baby Still Not Sleeping Through The Night

by Asya
(Oklahoma)

OK, my problem is: I'm exhausted.

My baby used to sleep through the night, but now she wakes up every 3-4 hours, sometimes even more often and will cry hysterically untill I pick her up. Then she will only calm down if I nurse her.

Very rarely, I get her calm by rubbing her back or belly. If I'm lucky she'll fall asleep at my breast and I quietly move her back to her crib which is in a separate room. Sometimes she will start crying within 30 mins after that and then the same scenario... Sometimes I get a couple of hours of rest before the next fit.

I tried letting her cry it out, checking on her every 5-10 mins but she would just cry louder everytime I left the room and when I picked her up, her crying just broke my heart and her little tummy was shaking. I would nurse her then and she would become quiet but her tummy would shake rhythmically. I would let her cry it out again but I'm scared to hurt her, physically and mentally. I have no idea what I'm doing to her when I let her cry. If I knew for sure, she would be fine, I'd do it again and be consistent this time.

She does not have too much trouble napping, she usually takes two naps a day, each one at least an hour up to 2,5 hours.

She's always been a healthy and happy baby. She eats 3 meals during the day and I started giving her snacks couple of days ago. She has already the bottom two teeth and I'm not sure if she's getting the top ones yet.

I'm staying at home with her and I hardly get any rest since I don't have any family or friends around here to help me out. My husband goes to school at night and works full-time so he's not much help either. What can I do to help her sleep better? I slowly but surely cannot take the mornings after anymore.

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8 Month Old Baby Still Not Sleeping Through The Night

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Apr 29, 2009

Exhausted Mom
by: Baby Help Line - Annie

Hi Asya,

I'm sorry you are getting so exhausted. It is hard when a baby changes sleeping patterns but I'm afraid it is par for the course! Some babies sleep through the night from an early age, some never do until they are toddlers! (mine didn't!)

She may well be teething, she may be going through a hungry phase, she may be scared and frightened.

I also suspect because you are exhausted and feeling stressed your baby is picking up on it and wanting more reassurance that you are available for her. And it becomes a vicious circle - the more demanding she is the more frustrated you get, and the more she is worried you are not really there for her.

I am not a proponent of letting babies cry themselves to sleep. I believe babies cry for a reason and if they need attention and reassurance then it is important to give it. However, if you are getting so exhausted and frustrated that you have no reserves left then you need to make yourself a priority.

I realize your husband is working hard too, both working and at school, but the well being of yourself and your baby has to come first for a short time. It is very hard when a baby usually only wants Mom, but even if he can do an evening shift, or early morning a couple of times per week to give you a bit more sleep. Maybe he can get up early with her and do the breakfast run and you can get an extra hour.

The other thing is when she naps, you nap. It doesn't matter what else needs doing, you HAVE to get rest when you can or you are no good to anyone. She will settle back down into a different routine in time, so for the short term, you must get sleep when she does.

Also just check in your area if there are services available. When my children were tiny, there was a service called parentport, where a Mom could take the baby for the day or overnight and go and sleep in a sound proofed room. Even one good night's sleep is an incredible help!

See if there are baby playgroups around, find other Mom's who know how you feel, or may offer to swap babysitting for a couple of hours so you can take a Nap.

You must look after yourself so you can be available to enjoy your little girl - she needs a happy Mom to play with her and teach her things and reassure her when she is uncomfortable.

Good luck!
Annie Desantis

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Apr 29, 2009
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Submitted by: Baby Help Line - Annie

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Hi Asya, I'm sorry you are getting so exhausted. It is hard when a baby changes sleeping patterns but I'm afraid it is par for the course! Some babies sleep through the night from an early age, some never do until they are toddlers! (mine didn't!) She may well be teething, she may be going through a hungry phase, she may be scared and frightened. I also suspect because you are exhausted and feeling stressed your baby is picking up on it and wanting more reassurance that you are available for her. And it becomes a vicious circle - the more demanding she is the more frustrated you get, and the more she is worried you are not really there for her. I am not a proponent of letting babies cry themselves to sleep. I believe babies cry for a reason and if they need attention and reassurance then it is important to give it. However, if you are getting so exhausted and frustrated that you have no reserves left then you need to make yourself a priority. I realize your husband is working hard too, both working and at school, but the well being of yourself and your baby has to come first for a short time. It is very hard when a baby usually only wants Mom, but even if he can do an evening shift, or early morning a couple of times per week to give you a bit more sleep. Maybe he can get up early with her and do the breakfast run and you can get an extra hour. The other thing is when she naps, you nap. It doesn't matter what else needs doing, you HAVE to get rest when you can or you are no good to anyone. She will settle back down into a different routine in time, so for the short term, you must get sleep when she does. Also just check in your area if there are services available. When my children were tiny, there was a service called parentport, where a Mom could take the baby for the day or overnight and go and sleep in a sound proofed room. Even one good night's sleep is an incredible help! See if there are baby playgroups around, find other Mom's who know how you feel, or may offer to swap babysitting for a couple of hours so you can take a Nap. You must look after yourself so you can be available to enjoy your little girl - she needs a happy Mom to play with her and teach her things and reassure her when she is uncomfortable. Good luck! <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/annie-desantis.html">Annie Desantis</a>

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Apr 30, 2009

Two answers fro the price of one :-D
by: Baby Help Line - Paula

Hi Asya,

I couldn't resist answering you as well, because I can totally relate to your situation. When our daugther was 10 months old she woke up every hour to breastfeed. My husband travelled a lot and I was staying at home. Thought I was going to loose my mind!

But with the help of my husband, our daughter went from waking up every hour to maybe once per night in only three nights. Admittedly she was a bit older than your girl, but you can always try...

What we did one Thursday evening was to decide that from now on the first person to care for our daughter at night was dad. I put in earplugs and he got to sleep next to the crib. We also decided that if our daugter would be sad for more than 5 mintues she would be allowed to breastfeed. (Since she ate so often we had no clue whether she was hungry or not.)

So at night dad picked her up and cuddled her, gave her the pacifier andtried to help her go back to sleep. The first night I think I had to breastfeed twice and my husband probably picked her up every hour. But on the third night she actually only woke up once! It was like magic! No cry-it-out, just no mom and no feeding. (Guess without the suckling there was no point with waking up.)

Sure my husband was tired for a couple of nights, but afterwards we just couldn't believe that we had waited so long. On the night of her first birthday she slept through the night. Not something I would have bet on just two months earlier...

Again, it might be that your daughter is too young to skip every feeding. But even if you only get rid of 50% at first it would be a huge improvement, right?

So, my advice is to take help from you hubby! Even if he works long hours, well, so do you! Work together to help your baby sleep better. And skip the "cry it out", I've heard so many examples of babies actually sleeping worse after that.

Finally, here are the links to two articles; one with sleep tips for mom, one with my review of the "No Cry Sleep Solution", which was one of my life saviors all those sleepless nights.

New mom sleep tips

Baby book tips

Keep us posted with how you are doing,

Paula

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Apr 30, 2009
Rating

Submitted by: Baby Help Line - Paula

Title

Comment
Hi Asya, I couldn't resist answering you as well, because I can totally relate to your situation. When our daugther was 10 months old she woke up every hour to breastfeed. My husband travelled a lot and I was staying at home. Thought I was going to loose my mind! But with the help of my husband, our daughter went from waking up every hour to maybe once per night in only three nights. Admittedly she was a bit older than your girl, but you can always try... What we did one Thursday evening was to decide that from now on the first person to care for our daughter at night was dad. I put in earplugs and he got to sleep next to the crib. We also decided that if our daugter would be sad for more than 5 mintues she would be allowed to breastfeed. (Since she ate so often we had no clue whether she was hungry or not.) So at night dad picked her up and cuddled her, gave her the pacifier andtried to help her go back to sleep. The first night I think I had to breastfeed twice and my husband probably picked her up every hour. But on the third night she actually only woke up once! It was like magic! No cry-it-out, just no mom and no feeding. (Guess without the suckling there was no point with waking up.) Sure my husband was tired for a couple of nights, but afterwards we just couldn't believe that we had waited so long. On the night of her first birthday she slept through the night. Not something I would have bet on just two months earlier... Again, it might be that your daughter is too young to skip every feeding. But even if you only get rid of 50% at first it would be a huge improvement, right? So, my advice is to take help from you hubby! Even if he works long hours, well, so do you! Work together to help your baby sleep better. And skip the "cry it out", I've heard so many examples of babies actually sleeping worse after that. Finally, here are the links to two articles; one with sleep tips for mom, one with my review of the "No Cry Sleep Solution", which was one of my life saviors all those sleepless nights. <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/new-mom.html">New mom sleep tips</a> <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/baby-book-tips.html">Baby book tips</a> Keep us posted with how you are doing, Paula

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Apr 30, 2009

Thank you!
by: Asya

Thank you so much, everybody. I will try all your tips and I'm not letting my baby cry for longer than a couple of mins anymore. Let's see how it goes. My husband is willing to do a couple of night shifts, so I'm sure we'll work it out. Thank you!

Jul 28, 2009

par for the course
by: Anonymous

Honestly, at 10 mos old, this is not a surprise.
We went through phases like this with our daughter (that was 20 years ago!).

You and hubby have to take turns, and yes, I agree, you should go to your baby when she needs you.

BUT... if she gets older, I'd say, like 18 mos, and is still doing this, it's time to get tough. We didn't, and our daughter did this right up to age 2, until I (the dad) insisted we not run to her so much anymore. I'd wait 5 minutes, with her crying the whole time, then go to her room and stand near her, but not pick her up. Wait a few minutes, and leave. A bit later, she would cry again. This time, I'd wait 10 minutes and then go. Third time, 15 minutes. USE A WATCH... When a baby is crying, 60 seconds seems like "forever".

The 1st night, I only had to go 3 times.
After 3 nights of this, she was done getting up every hour. She got up about once per night after that. MUCH better. But she was up once per night until about age 4, so I really sympathize.

Sorry I can't be more encouraging, but babies and toddlers do this.