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Submitted by: Baby Help Line - Paula

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Hi Sharlott, What a lovley family photo and cute happy little fellow there in the middle. He sure looks as he gets enough sleep at least :-) At his age, <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/7-month-old.html">7 months old</a>, babies often experience separation anxiety. They are beginning to realize that they are a separate being from their mother and that makes them very uncertain and scared. Sleep problems are really common at that age (around 7-11 months or so). I don't know if you baby has done this (need to be close to you and feed frequently)from the start or if it is a new phase. If it is new, you could try to just ride it out and he is likely to get back to more normal behaviors in a while. But if it is too exhausting or frustrating for you, of course you can try to change his behavior. I am no fan of the "cry-it-out" method at all, and especially not during those sensitive months (7-11 months or so); your baby needs you for a reason. But one thing that has been effective, at least with my children are <b>stroller walks</b>. You mention that your routines work well with your son; that's great. Get him dressed and out in the stroller some 15 minutes before his nap time. Take a brisk walk - grat exercise for you too. Then when he's been asleep for at least 20 minutes, you can go back in. Don't lift him up! Either place his stroller on the porch or balcony if you can (if it is cold outside) or open up his clothes enough to make him comfortable. Grab a coffee and a nice book - and stay close to the stroller. The second he starts to make noises, start rolling the stroller back and forth quite firmly, to help him get back to sleep. Continue until he wakes up or you think it is time for him to wake up. This method usually helps even the most reluctant babies to go to sleep without mommy and without nursing. Once it works at daytime, you can use it for bedtime at night too. Just don't let him sleep in the stroller th whole night, since he is easily old enough to fall out. But if he goes to bed before you and you can keep an eye and ear on the stroller, you might be able to get rid of least the first feeding this way. Hope this helps! You can find more sleep tips in our <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/baby-sleep.html">baby sleep section here.</a> Warm wishes, Paula

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Submitted by: Kate Ng (New Zealand)

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Hi There, I am wondering if this is a new behavior or if he has always been like this? If he has always been doing this then the answer is that he needs to be taught 'how'to go to sleep in his own bed. It is a job that we as parents need to teach children...not something that they figure out on their own, and continuing to pacify him too much is just making the problem worse. I have four children of my own and have helped many parents in your situation...This is what I recommend you do. He definitely needs to sleeps 2x per day...which your doing, great! and ideally for 1.5 hours each. When it is sleep time, its best you sleep him in the same place each time, ie his crib. Read him a book, little cuddle, talk to him then say it is sleep time off to sleep now. Put him in and say 'good sleep' and walk out, leaving the door slightly open. If he is crying you can go back in every 2-3 minutes just to reassure him that you are here and that you are with him. settle him for 1 minute then put him back in and walk out. By doing this you are teaching him that he is ok and that your still there to meet his needs, but that he is also safe and that he can trust your descisions that you know what is best for him. This may take a couple of days to work through and he will eventually 'learn' how to sleep in his crib rather than being reliant on you - (which doesnt really give him a good sleep. Dont give up...parenting is about teaching and loving and enjoying each others company when it is playtime!!! Kate Ng New Zealand

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Submitted by: Bea

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Hi Sharlott, He needs to learn to sleep in his own bed through ensuring him,that he is safe there and you're there for him if he needs you. Good sleep is important for him and to rest and do other things at the end of the they are important for you also!(that's also his interest). Around 2-3 months I tied my nightgown to her bed (making sure that it's long enough to hold and smell but not long enough to get it around her neck) she really liked it. Even I was not there she could have "mummy's smell"she really liked it.She slept in her own bed but in our room until 19 months. When she woke up at night I got up, pet her back or took her walked a few steps did not talk much just saying eg. was OK, didn?t turn on the light just held her tight. Later I didn't need to take her out of bed every time only saying shh-shh would smooth her or just when I coughed or moved our blanket (the sounds saying that we are close by). We put her into her own room at 19months w/o the slightest problem (although everyone suggested that there will be because she was with us for so long.) She enjoys it, but I still do the same thing. I think through sleeping "together" helped her to learn, that nighst are also OK and it is to sleep well not to be alone. If she wakes I go to see her - usually just put her blanket back give her a kiss and she is OK). What I also did at the age of your baby, I told her that it is OK to sleep and we are there for her. I left the door open and did the evening domestic things(selecting laundry etc.) so she heard I was there, or sang the song she knew. Don't take me wrong - now it all seems nice and easy BUT I also had evenings... when I was tired and thinking whether she will ever like falling asleep on her own. And now SHE DOES - yours will also! Even now, we spend a long time reading stories and "talking" about our day before going to sleep. Then I lay next to her a bit(there were times I felt frustrated because I wanted to relax just a bit on my own - and that was the time to settle her the most difficultly), now I know it is nice to spend a little time together before sleeping.For her it is easier, for me it is also relaxing. I think <a href="http://www.easybabylife.com/breastfeeding.html">breastfeeding</a> is a beautiful thing you do for your child for his benefit. Because of the separation crises these months are a bit more difficult but they are nice too.Just go smoothly, but don't have bad conscious just because you teach your child sleeping alone in a gentle way. I DON't suggest you leave him crying for long, and uncontrolled but a little cry did not hurt anyone.It's a normal way to communicate at this age.If you know that you're doing sg for HIS benefit and it is a good thing for the whole family, it will be easier. All the best and I keep fingers crossed! You posted a really lovely photo! Bea

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Submitted by: Sharlott

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Thank you so much for your comments. I'm afraid the behavior is learned and has been going on for quite some time. Much of it stemming from desparation for a few minutes sleep in the early days. I must admit I'm a bit overwhelmed by the daunting task before me, but I know it will be best for both of us. As clearly I'm clueless and haven't much help with my baby, I am certainly appreciative of the advice you experienced mothers have given me. I have never been comfortable with just letting him cry and scream and work it out on his own and that is the only other thing people have told me. Well, here I go.

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Submitted by: kate Ng

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Hi Sharlott, Good on you...it sounds like your ready to take the step. Often when we get to that stage of just 'having enough' we know we need to do something about it. That's usually when it's more successful too. Try not to look at it as a big task ahead of you. Just take each day as it comes, or even each feed cycle as it comes, that will help you get through. Make sure you are following the pattern of sleep, feed, play then sleep, it helps develop a really good routine. he should be doing this; 7am - wake and feed 9am - 11am (1.5 - 2hours ) sleep time. 11am - wake and feed / lunch after 1pm - 3pm (1.5 - 2hours) sleep time 3pm - wake and feed 4.30pm - half feed / dinner time/ then bath 6.30pm - rest of milk feed 7pm feed and sleep 10pm - sleepy feed Basically up for 2 hours then down for two hours. I have had a lot of success with this routine and helped a lot of parents..hope it helps you. Kind Regards Kate Ng New Zealand

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