Baby using the breast as pacifier… a common situation, and natural in many ways. But what if you’d want to break that habit? Let’s take a look at different ways to improve the situation.
Mom’s Question:
How can I stop my baby from using my breast as a pacifier to fall asleep? I breastfeed and formula feed. Please do not just say try a pacifier because I do, and he has a hard time putting and keeping it in his mouth.
Thank you, Heidi
How To Break Baby’s Habit Of Using Breast As Pacifier
I know very well how tough it can be to become a human pacifier for your baby! Maybe it can be good for you to know that at least during the first four months, a baby’s sucking reflex is very strong, and probably most breastfeeding moms feel like human pacifiers at some point during this time.
Not all babies accept real pacifiers – ever! (But the time moms spend as their human pacifier ends at some point, one way or the other!) That said, there ARE tricks to use to help your baby accept the pacifier, and you’ll find six tips to try here.
Now, there are a few things you can do to improve the situation. The most important one is to help your baby break the feeding-sleep association. You can do this in two ways; the tougher and the more gentle.
How to Stop Being Your Baby’s Human Pacifier Quickly
The tougher way – and often very efficient, especially with babies older than six months or so, is to simply make up your mind not to allow the suckling for comfort and sleep anymore. Let Dad or someone else put your baby to sleep as often as possible, and don’t interfere.
While it may be tough for a few days with a sad or angry (or both) baby, who falls asleep late, it usually works. Dad (or you) can rock your baby, use the stroller, offer the baby’s hands to suck on, a pacifier, offer a stuffed animal or whatever, but no suckling. After a few days, your baby is likely to have learned the new routine.
The other, gentle way, is to slowly teach your baby how to fall asleep without suckling.
The Gentle Method to Stop Being a Human Pacifier for Your Baby
When you put your baby to bed (or in your arms or wherever he goes to sleep), I assume with the bottle or breast, let him suckle for a while until he is almost asleep. But right before he actually falls asleep, release whatever is in his mouth. Then press lightly on his chin to keep his mouth shut.
This may sound very strange, but it actually helps the baby to not root for the nipple.
Your baby will probably wake up when you do this and NOT accept it the first few times. Give him the nipple back and repeat the above process. Do this over and over again until he falls asleep without the nipple.
Then continue to do this every time he needs the nipple to fall asleep.
Eventually, he will learn to fall asleep without suckling, and your time as a human pacifier is over (until the next baby arrives… ;-D )
The advantage of the gentle method is that you really teach your baby to fall asleep in a new way without making him so sad.
The disadvantage is that it might take time and that it can be very hard at night to really motivate yourself to continue doing this.
Do you have someone who can help you at night? To be able to share the burden for a week or two would probably be of great help to you.
A bonus if you manage to break the feeding-sleep association for your baby is that it is also likely that he will wake up less often at night if he learns how to go back to sleep without your breast or bottle.
You can read more about these methods here.
Remember, though, that apart from making mom exhausted, there is nothing wrong with letting your baby nurse fall asleep.
I wish you good luck!
Paula
Hey moms, have you ever felt that your baby is using your breast as a pacifier? Many moms have shared their situation of being a human pacifier. Join in by leaving a comment below!
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
Hi, I have a 2.5 Year old. She has exclusively breastfed for the first year of her life and eventually accepted cows milk from a bottle at a year old. She now has milk from a bottle to go to sleep but wakes often through the night and the only thing that settles her is my breast. She isn’t feeding. The other annoying this she does is tweak my other nipple. I work nights and the nights I am not there she has dad awake all night. He has to take her downstairs to settle her as she wakes our son who is 3.5 years old as if she wakes him we have two toddlers melting down.
I don’t know how to stop this. When I am there when she wakes, if I do not allow her the breast she throws a full on tantrum. She is wakeful between midnight and 4 a.m.
Help!!
So my baby is 6 months and a half. For the past 3 nights, I have been a human pacifier. She would not unlatch my breast. Every time I make her unlatch, it wakes her up screaming. Then I am forced to put my breast back in her mouth. On the 3rd night I was fed up, I unlatched and she started screaming, I quickly picked her up and started to rock her back and fourth. I wanted to stop breastfeeding right then and right there, but I want to stop breastfeeding when she is a year old. Almost 5 months left! Any advice?? I am need help! I am losing sleep
Love this site, SO helpful! I’m in need of some guidance badly! My 3.5 month DS will only sleep if my nipple is in his mouth. At 8:30ish I breastfeed him, we read a book and go to (co)sleep in our bed at 9-9:30. I side lye with my nipple in his mouth at the beginning of the night as he won’t settle any other way. We’ve tried rocking him and soothing him but he wakes as soon as we put him down. I try to keep to a timely schedule for naps but he naps very little during the day (unless on nipple) but he’s a very alert baby. When I notice he’s tired I’ll start humming and walk him to his room before his nap, close the curtains, have am static playing as white noise and I’ll do the Pantley Dance (using my nipple) and he’ll sleep in his crib for 10-40 mins. He then wakes up looking for the nipple to soothe him back to sleep, he’s trying to soothe himself back to sleep but not really quite there yet. Then he’ll scream until I come in to give him my nipple but I won’t be able to put him down again without him crying. There are times when he’s up for 5 hours (one 10 min nap) and will appear to be ok and happy but I know he should nap but he won’t fall asleep even when I try the stroller, car, swing, or sling. His sleep association with my nipple is so strong and for a few weeks now i’ve tried the gentle removal once he gets drowsy but he wakes up every 15 mins looking for it. I don’t want this to continue because it will just be more difficult to stop later on and I’m having to lye awkwardly which has resulted in little sleep for me and a really bad back all the time now. Oh…he also won’t take a soother. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated!
Actually, I don’t think it will be more difficult later on! In just about a month, your son’s suckling reflex will be less strong, and the older he gets, his sleep cycles will be longer too, so e shouldn’t wake up quite as often. Is he completely refusing the pacifier? A pacifier can be a good help for babies when they (almost) wake up. You’ll find some tips on how to help a baby accept the pacifier here. Also, when you do try the gentle method, make sure the nipple really is out of the baby’s mouth before he falls asleep.
What happens if he sleeps in the stroller – even if he can’t fall asleep there at first – many babies can be rocked back to sleep if they wake up a bit early and you start pushing the stroller back and forth immediately when the baby starts squirming or making a noise.
I hope this gives you a few more ideas!
My baby is 18 months old.(1 and half) Still he uses me as a pacifier. pls pls help me… Specially when we are outside.. I really really need help… Pls :-(
Unlike the rest of you here, I do not enjoy any of this night waking in the slightest. My darling is 4 1/2 months. Due to my tiny bladder I haven’t had a single solid night’s sleep since about the 4th month of pregnancy. It’s actually making me feel CRAZY and resentment towards my babe! As I type this, I am in bed, wide awake, completely frustrated by another wake to suckle struggle.
Obviously I love my baby. I chose breastfeeding and have stuck with it because it is the best thing for her. However, not a day goes by where I CANNOT WAIT for it to be over. I have no romantic notions that I’ll look back on this time with nostalgia. I love my baby, but I hate this phase with a passion.
When we would co sleep she would actually wake more often. I am an extremely light sleeper, so all her movements wouldn’t allow for me to really sleep well anyway. Unlike most of you, I CANNOT sleep with my breast in her mouth. I need my body totally away from hers to actually feel comfortable enough to sleep!
So, I’ve been pulling her in bed with me to feed her with both of us lying down, then putting her back in her crib or swing once she is in a deep sleep. She will sleep for a longer period of time in her swing so that’s usually where she goes, even though the sound of the motor is rather loud and annoying to me. This past week, I’ve actually stopped pulling her in bed and just sat at the end of my bed holding her until she fell back asleep and then returning her to her swing.
During the day when no one is in the house but us, I have begun sleep training her. After some oatmeal cereal mixed with breast milk (she is not a fan of rice cereal), I nurse her until she begins to suckle but not be out. I then hold her upright close to my chest to burp her/transition to nap. Then we go right into the swing, buckle in, and I distract myself with dishes or a shower while she has a good 10-15 minute cry. Is this harsh? I don’t really think so at all. She has cried for up to an hour with her dad in the beginning, but now it’s much faster.
Still, the night stuff is sort of killing me. I am moody all the time. I have actually left my husband, quit my job, and moved in with family. Her dad and I had other issues, but I widely attribute my no sleeping thing to all of it. I have sacrificed and sacrificed. I will continue to do so, but will never love any of it.
Now, she stirs in her swing, preparing to enter another suckle-to-sleep cycle. And I will end this to accommodate her. Ah, parenting. Heavy sigh.
Hey new Mama Lindsay,
I read your post & feel for you with your frustrations, Lady..! Please don’t think it’s all peachy for everyone but you. Just last night I was reduced to tears. As I was saying in my previous post, there are steps forward & then big steps back & it can be devastating. I will also say that this causes me to feel resentment toward my husband since it’s her mommy our babe wants each time. In other words, I bear the brunt of her cries & the sleep deprivation. I wonder if, given time you & your baby’s father can come to an understanding. What I really mean is that it seems to me this reaction is NORMAL & comes with the territory.
So does post partum depression. Talk to your doctor, Girl! And if you’re not satisfied with how that goes, talk to another doctor until you get some help & feel some of the weight lifted from your shoulders.
I recommended Elizabeth Pantley’s The No Cry Sleep Solution in my last post & will recommend it to you specifically. Interestingly, she emphasizes starting sleep training with night rather than the nap. An overtired baby never sleeps as well as a rested one & will resist & cry more. Get the naps in however you can & the nighttime training will be more successful.
I’ve been working hard at this & feeling up & down, but then around 6 months (she’s now 7 months), it’s almost as tho her maturity caught up with my expectations. Things are improving.
4 months is awfully young still. Hang in there..
Since you’re living with family I hope you can get a little time to sleep, or get out for a mani/pedi or massage… Or go have a coffee, or go for a walk, or go meet a friend.. Something to give you some space from everything.
Your little one sees the world thru you. Be kind to yourself & remember that it’s going to get easier.
Hi moms
my 6month old still uses me as a pacifier. I really don’t mind it because it’s convenient.
My son has never wanted a pacifier, even though my husband insists that I use it. Baby sleeps all night no problem.
I am just worried about what to do when I go back to work. Maybe I’ll try the chin thing.
Hi , just a quick point to those mums who have bubs at 3wks 6 wks etc that may be going thru a growth spurt my 4mth old wanted to be fed constantly at both those stages then would be fine & now is having a developmental spurt & that has its own issues. point being maybe your bubs are sucking for more then comfort because once ur breast is ’emptier’ they are getting that really rich fatty milk they need please don’t stop them feeding if that’s what they need,it just makes it harder on you!! I made that mistake!
Honestly, babies do not use their mothers for a pacifier. Being comforted and bonding by suckling at the breast is a natural thing to do. A pacifier attempts to be a substitution for the mother–not the other way around.
I feel for you, DS does not take a pacifier of any kind and nurses to fall asleep. It’s hard but these phases pass.
The “chin method” really does work, as does putting your baby down just as she’s falling asleep. The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is an excellent read for moms struggling with a frequently waking baby, who pacifies at the breast & wakes with the expectation of warm milk in her belly. The author explains how to break the suck sleep-association.
It works.. The first night it took me three hours & at least five times going back in her room, but my daughter (4 months at the time) didn’t cry. Best of all, she fell asleep on her own! There are set-backs, then leaps forward. Overall I believe I’m teaching her kindness, patience & tenderness, & encouraging her to be confident in herself at night.
Good luck to all of you!
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this situation. I’m not sure how it started but my 1 month old has been using me as a pacifier after her diaper is changed. It’s every time we change her. She will scream her head off until I feed her. Even if I have just fed her for a half hour.She will need a change and start screaming again wanting more food. I’m at my wits end!! And my nipples can’t take much more. She does it at bedtime also but that doesn’t bother me nearly as much. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you!!!
Hi Celine,
The first time I was a new mom, I tried so hard to get my baby on some sort of schedule; I didn’t want her to feed too often, gave gas drops, and walked around with a screaming baby. With my youngest, I simply let him suck. Many young babies get incredibly fussy, especially in the evening, but also at other times of the day. I invested in some really good nursing bras and tops and just put my son at my breast. There he was, lying there, sucking away, drifting off to sleep, waking up again, and so on until finally sleeping for the night. It was great. Much better than trying to fight it. I sat on the sofa watching TV and talking to my husband instead of walking around with a screaming baby.
Just let her suck if you can. This phase will pass in a month or two, if not earlier. I strongly believe in making life as pleasant as possible with a new baby. Just keep her as happy as you can – then she’ll have a happier mom too.
If you need some efficient sleep tips for new moms, you’ll find them here.
And here are some thoughts on attachment parenting for babies.
Warm wishes,
Paula
My 4 month old son WILL NOT fall asleep without me nursing him, even if he’s full. He has also stopped taking bottles, which he would occasionally get when spending the day with Grandma. On nights when I refuse to be his binkie, he screams in my face for hours until I finally give in. I’ve had LONG hysterical night of stress and I’ve even tried leaving him with my Mom for a night, who ended up bringing him back at 3am. I have started feeding him baby food 3 times a day mixed with Oatmeal Cereal to fill his belly at night, and although it did seem to help a little, he still wakes up at least 5 times during the night wanting my nipple to fall back asleep. I am definitely trying the Chin trick tonight and the MAM if that doesn’t work. Just remembered we have one we received as a gift and never even opened. I HOPE IT WORKS!!!! 14 nov 2022
I have the same thing with my 5 months old. He don’t want to take pacifier, wakes up 9-10 times at night. Had the same thing with my older one. I breastfeed him until I new I was pregnant (he was 1year 4 months old). We used hard way to wean him from breast, it took about a week of hard work for us, but it definitely worth it. Now our new baby, doing the same thing, but I’m going to try the gentle way, hope its going to be less stress for both of us, me and baby.
Woo Hoo i’m not alone! my 11 week old does this, but then throws it all up and i get cranky, during the day, if i leave the hoover on or breast pump he will go to sleep, i pump but he won’t take the bottle so i’m just freezing it all. He is gaining weight perfectly so i do wonder if he does need it all still. I’m a bit worried about co sleeping although it is all he will do now, i attempted last night to keep putting him in his cot right next to our bed and it was 4 aclock in the morning when i gave in, my partner managed to get him asleep, put him in the bed, little one cried, i shoved the nipple in and had sleep, then he seems to be catching up on his sleep now, but i can’t catch up on my sleep and i need something to sooth me now!!!
Reading all these comments has been so comforting-thank you. My little boy is almost 6 months and although we have tried to avoid the feed sleep routine it has happened to us too. We don’t co-sleep but still, our little one will wake and need a feed. He has slept through the night only waking once or twice since 2 months old so we didn’t mind. However, now we are weaning this has changed to 5 or so times a night. Occasionally without meaning to, I fall asleep with him still feeding on me maybe 2 hours after he has woken. As we live in a house with thin walls and I don’t wish to wake the neighbours, my husband or worry our dog I don’t know how to comfort him any other way. We have a good bathtime feed and bed routine so I will try to cgange this so he feeds before sleep and then the chin technique. I fear if we don’t fix this habit now it will continue indefinitely! Good luck to everyone having similar concerns x
Indefinitely is probably slightly too long… If your son still does this at the of 13 (years), let us all know! :-)
Just kidding.
I wish you good luck with the chin method.
Warm wishes, Paula
She too has recently begun to feverishly root for me shortly after falling asleep, after a feed. In the day time my mum gives her my ebm in a bottle but in the nights it’s a challenge. Yes we too co-sleep and giving her the breast is easy but uncomfortable. I wait for 10mins + after she’s fallen asleep to put her down but within minutes she’s awake and making soft noises and looking for my breast. The plan is to head out tomorrow to buy a pacifier. I need to sleep :( but my concerns are related to introducing the pacifier now, at this stage where she turns 3pm old in 5 days! I know I’m asking for trouble but it seems like I might get some relief!
I have a 6 week old and she also uses me as a pacifier. We also co sleep and I love it bec I get more sleep and can function better throughout the day. I really don’t mind her being on the breast all night long however, she throws up from overeating! When she finally lets go of the breast, she would turn to her side and throw up and then she would start looking for the breast again! So I now have a burp cloth ready in hand. Anyone’s baby do this too?
So glad I found this post, I felt so alone for a while now. I like the rest am a human paci and co-sleep. My baby is 4 months today and in 2 months I’ll be returning to work, problem is I live in a 24/7 town (Las Vegas) and work the graveyard shift 12a-8a. I’m starting to stress out so bad because I know d day is around the corner. About 2 weeks ago she finally started taking a pumped bottle here and there.. but she still wakes up and requires the nipple to fall asleep. During the day she will only nap in her swing (and it has to be swinging) which also worries me but is the only way I can get something done. I will try the chin method asap! Any other suggestions? I can’t afford to quit my job :( and nowadays its so hard to find new work out here.
My baby was born 12 weeks early and he spent a total of 48 days in hospital and now at 7 months he sleeps with me and he uses me as a pacifier as well but to be honest i really don’t mind at all if it keeps him settle and feeling safe im happy as well :-) you just have to do what you think is best for your baby and what your baby is comfortable with i wouldn’t do anything to make him uncomfortable and its good to know that theres other moms out there with the same thing happening take care all you moms xx
I am so glad I’m not alone!!!!!!!!!!! i have a 3 month old who i co-sleep with and she will only go 2 sleep if she is on the breast she does sleep 12-13 hours a night which is a bonus:) but she seems 2 want 2 suckle quite a lot through the day i tried 2 give her a dummy but she just chokes i tried a lot of different 1`s as well hopefully as she gets older she will want 2 suckle less.
I also have a 6 week old baby who uses me as a human pacifier. Though he doesn’t just do this to go to sleep, he does it all day. I get very limited time to do anything else ’cause he’s always attached to me and will be held by no one else. I can’t leave the house ’cause he’ll just cry till he gets the breast. I worry that this will go on for months if I don’t put a stop to it but I don’t know any way to stop it. I’ve tried giving him to my husband and letting him cry, but after an hour we give up. We’ve tried rocking, the swing, singing, the chin method, formula, a pacifier, etc… and nothing seems to help. Should I just continue to give him the breast? I usually only get about 15 minutes before he cries for the boob again. Help.
I have a 6 and a half week old that is breastfed and she refuses to go to sleep at night, without me right beside her or being latched on… I try to unlatch her when I think she has fallen asleep but this wakes her up… also if I try to get out of the bed to spend time with my boyfriend before I’m ready to go to sleep she also wakes up shortly after I’ve left… This is getting quite tiresome and I’ve tried every different shape and name of pacifier and she will not take them, I also tried to get her to take her bottle before bed so I would know she ate a full 5 ounces and sleep most of the night but she won’t take them anymore either. I find that odd because for the first week I had to bottle feed her because of sore cracked nipples, she did fine with the bottles then but gags on them now… SOMEONE HELP!!
I have a 9 month old who will pacify herself to sleep on me only. I have fed her an hour prior to bedtime & sometimes it works for her to fall asleep on her own and other nights…not so much. For me it’s mainly just the initial putting her to sleep. She’ll stay on my breast for about 45 mins before fully asleep at night. but nap times only takes 5 mins!! I am going to try the chin method in hopes that we don’t have to try the cry it out method!! I hope it works!
My son too does this – he is our fourth son and only one who doesnt take a dummy (pacifier) – he is 4 months old and weighs over 8 kilos – a real puddin – am I making him fat?? They say you can’t overfeed a breastfed baby but god I’m sure I’m proving the critics wrong :-(
I breast-fed my 2yr old and co-slept as well. I was also used as a human pacifier. I know for sure that co-sleeping was the reason he did so. As I said, he is 2 and still sleeping with us. I no longer breastfeed him but he throws a fit if I’m not right next to him every time he wakes up throughout the night. I also have a 2 month old, whom I have not allowed, and do not plan on allowing, to co-sleep. He nurses and does use me as a pacifier often, however, it’s not as bad since he sleeps in his own bed-in his own room. He sleeps 5-7 hrs through the night. For that, I’d allow a little pacifying throughout the day!! I think it’s normal, obviously since every one of us has a story to tell about it!
Hello ladies! I have to start by saying that I too am happy to see i’m not alone and the comments really made me feel good. My three month old baby girl uses me as a pacifier to fall asleep. When she was born i was having trouble breastfeeding so when she’d cry she’d get a pacifier and she was fine. But I kept insisting on breastfeeding and went to breastfeeding clinics for help and before long all was good. She doesn’t take any pacifier. I’ve bought about 7. her night sleep is 6 hours, and then she wakes up every couple of hours for a feed. I keep promising myself that I will go to sleep when she does so I can get those 6 hours, but never happens because that’s the only time i have for my self. So I was looking for a solution and found this post.
Anyway, wanted to give a tip to mothers who have problems in public or airplanes or just calming babies down without having to pull out the BOOB. Ok so you know how we’re supposed to give babies 1ml of Vitamin D everyday? When she is unselttled but NOT hungry I put one drop in her mouth then shuv the pacifier in her mouth and SHE SUCKS AND SUCKS AND SUCKS. If doesn’t work I do it again ( you have a whole 1ml ) Thought this could help someone.
Cheers.
i might try this. what pacifier did you find worked best for you?
My baby is almost a year and our story is so much like everyone else’s. We, too, are co-sleepers and I am also a human pacifier. It just seems easier this way. I also do not have the heart to let her “cry it out.” But I kept saying to myself “Boy am I in trouble!” So these posts definitely make me feel better. Plus the way I see it is that it’s not going to be like this forever!
I could’ve sworn I was the only one! Most of my friends formula feed their babies so seem to be without this problem! My son is 15 weeks and uses me to suck on all the time. Problem is he sucks so long that I have lots of let-downs and then he eventually brings up a load cos he’s had too much! I don’t mind him sucking when I have nothing to do but when I want to sleep it’s difficult as I cant get comfortable properly with him in the bed and he wakes very regularly because he falls off the boob when he’s asleep but wakes himself in distress when he realizes that he’s not on the boob! The chin method didn’t really work for us but all babies are different. He’s starting to wean so hopefully he’ll gradually need my boobs less and less.
I feel so much better now I have found this post. My 14 week old is the same. He is soley breast fed and co sleeps with us as he does not like his moses basket or cot since day 1. He sometimes (but rarely) goes 4-5 hours but normally it is 3 hours at night then after that he is rooting for my breast and will only sette when I give it to him, then he ill suck a little the sleep, and this is then repeated every hour. He will only fall asleep on his own when in the car or buggy. Very ocassionally when he is asleep he will take a dummy but only when in a dep sleep then I can sometimes put him in his cot but more often than not he wakes as soon as he realises I have put him down. How can we break he habit?? I tried the controlled crying once but it was awful, he got so distraught that he was choking then it took over an hour to calm him down again. It is makig me so tired also. Help!
my baby is 5 months and she has breastfed soley! she doesnt want baby food, doesnt take the bottle nor the pacifier! im flying to texas to visit my family & im scared her ears are going to hurt her because she doent suck on a paci or bottle! please someone help me!
Like everyone else, I am so relieved to not be the only human pacifier out there (as I previously thought I was!) My son is 9 months old and still wakes several times at night wanting to nurse. He won’t take a pacifier, and he screams until I give in and let him nurse. I feel like I’m doing something wrong, and all my friends (and dr) tell me that I have to let him cry it out. I just can’t do it. I’m a single mother, but my mom lives with me to keep the baby while I work, and she’s tried to get him at night to see if he’ll go back to sleep and he just screams until we finally both give in. I’m anxious to try the chin thing tonight. But, if it doesn’t work, it’s ok. I view this as something special that won’t always happen. In a few years he’ll be too busy to worry about his mommy, so I’m cherishing every second of him now!
First of all, I am so RELIEVED that I am not alone. I took my son for his 6 month doctors appointment today and told her that he pacifies on me all the time to get to sleep and it is painful, exhausting and at times frustrating (the second I put him down he wakes up and then arches his back, kicks and cries till he gets to suck on me. And then the clock is reset). We co-sleep, but at night the few times that he wakes up I feel it is more to feed, than to suck. The pediatrician said I had to teach him “tough love”, that crying is okay. So I called my local breast feeding support center right after, who told me the pediatrician is full of nonsense. She said unfortunately I’ve missed the window for pacifier (which my son never took to really)/transitional object training which is 6 weeks to 3 months but ultimately this will sort itself out. She said that I am not a bad mom for getting frustrated and wanting my body back at soooomme point! She does not like the idea of sleep training till 8 months +. She also said I can keep at it with a pacifier/transitional object and see if ultimately he will take it. Of course, my next step was to do some internet research and I can’t wait to try the chin technique. ANYTHING will help, even if it takes a few attempts.
My 4 1/2 month is also using me as Human pacifier… I dont mind it at home but it gets very difficult when I am out. Has anyone tried the Chin Method.. Did it work??
I am using the chin method and it is working–slowly but surely. He is beginning to fall asleep without a nipple (mine or a paci) but it’s been a long month and he still needs it part of the time. I don’t mind so much but want to make sure he can fall asleep in other situations as I will be returning to grad school a few evenings a week. It’s only fair to teach him now!!
My son is now 11 months and I posted here when he was so little, fretting about letting him “comfort feed” in the night. I never stopped letting him do it, he safely co-slept in our bed and although it has taken a long time, he is now choosing to go to sleep in his cot by the side of our bed and only wakes for a short time every now and again for a quick feed, but goes straight back down. I think that those early months of me messing him about trying to force him to be independent before he was ready set us back. breastfeeding helps both of you to get back to sleep and they will grow out of it when they are ready! If neither of you is desperately unhappy with the situation then don’t feel pressured to change. it is socially acceptable to use a rubber nipple (pacifier)so why not a real one!
I am smiling here as i’m so relieved that I am not alone, my Daughter is nearly 6 months old and mainly breastfeeding I occasionaly try her with purees but she’s not interested. she loves her mammy’s breast, she sleeps in bed with me and uses me as a pacifier, and I have had enough now!!! I will try the chin method, but my problem is Im not very good at keeping to things, but im proud that I have breastfed for all this time as I bottle fed both my other children, I believe breastfeeding has made her the happy little girl that she is, but I need a bit of a life now. she wont stay with anybody else, and its been a pleasure to give her 6 months of just me, but my other children need me aswell.
I have a six week old baby. He is breastfed and has stopped taking a pacifier. It has gotten to the point that I am the only one who he can fall asleep with and if he is asleep and I try to put him in his bed, even after he is in a deep sleep, he will wake up immediately and scream until he is picked up and held, by me. He used to sleep in his bassinet but once he became more aware of his surroundings began to become VERY needy. My husband can only hold him for a few minutes before he wants to go back to me. We were soooo frustrated until I came upon Dr. Sears and his methods. Apparently he is a high needs baby. I have found many of his perspectives most reassuring and has answered all my questions.
Read Dr. Sears website about fussy babies and also get a sling. I just got one and I could not get anything done with my son. The sling allows you to cook and clean and do what you need to do and also the baby feels close to you.
Good luck and don’t be discouraged.
Am glad to see that I too am not alone. My daughter is just 3 weeks old and already it is obvious that she is using me as a human pacifier. She is constantly rooting for the breast on average about every hour, and in the evening every half and hour. A lot of the time she does not feed, just suckle.
Its not that I dont like the closeness of her doing this, I love it but once she falls asleep, I will put her down and 5 minutes later she is awake again rooting for the nipple again, it is exhausting as I can never get anything done. She never seems to sleep unless it is in my arms with my nipple in her mouth. I have tried every other pacifier but she refuses to take one.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
I have a 3 month old little boy and i already know that he is following the same pattern as my 6 year old did but i really dont mind. Its for such a short amount of time.Our evening routine consists of a bath followed by a feed then another feed etc. it could take up to four attempts to put him down.I know he’s not hungry he’s just using me as a comfort but i think its so special that i can offer him that, like i said earlier, its for such a shory time. My son will sleep about 4 hours in his crib so i use that time to catch up and relax. when he wakes i bring him into our bed and feed him and then he stays with us. I like the closeness of him being in bed with us.I have tried letting him get himself off to sleep but he gets too upset and i dont think thats fair on him or his older brother who gets disturbed.He will not accept a dummy. I am planning on breastfeeding till hes 13months, same as my other son, then he will go onto a bottle of cows milk. When i decided to stop breast feeding with my first child i would give a bottle in the eve then when he’d wake in the night i would pick him up and cuddle him. It was so hard not to give him the breast but after about a week he’d accepted it then he started sleeping through the night. My advice to all those mums worrying about their baby using them as a dummy is to do whats right for you, im very happy to let my baby use me as a comfort aswell as food, its such a precious time, when they gaze into your eyes and give you a cheeky smile to say thank you, its all worth it!
As I read these comments I couldn’t help but to post one of my own. I am just sooo relieved that I am not alone. There have been nights that I thought I was doing something wrong. My 2-month-old would cry for hours and I figured that he was not hungry, but as soon as I offered the breast he’d suck, and suck until he puked and then fell asleep (and this is a habitual process for us, as he’s been having problems with reflux). I know now that I have to be patient with my son, and do for him WHATEVER makes him comfortable. Thanks ladies, your comments have really brought light to my situation
I am so glad i found this message thread to find out that i am not a lone. My son is almost one and still relies on my breast to go to sleep at night regardless where he sleeps. We co-sleep half of the night (when i get too tired to keep walking back and forth from his crib to my bed). I pump while i am at work and feed at home and all hours of the night. On my lunch hour i go to his daycare to feed him to help keep my milk supply up. I am excited to try this new chin method during my lunch hour. I sure hope it works soon. I tried rocking and holding him instead of feeding him to sleep but he throws a major fit and will not stop screaming it seams like for ever until i give in. I can feel his frustration when he grabs me by the ears and pulls my chin into his mouth just so that he can clamp down on it with his two little bottom teeth and shake. I feel so sorry for my little man and don’t like for him to be like that so i usually give in after about 30 minutes to hour. The bad part of it all is that my husband works mainly at nights so even it i wanted to try the hard approach method i can’t. I just wanted to thanks to all of you for all these posts. I hope it works and good luck. Has anyone had any luck with the chin approach?
I have a 1-month-old baby girl and I have been noticing that she is starting to get a little dependent on the boob. After searching online for information I came across this discussion. I think it’s a good one! There are so many good points that people have to share and I just wanted to point out a few more that I think need to be on here for any one else that comes across it.
First, I don’t mind putting her to sleep with the comfort of me in her mouth, giving her the nutrients she will grow from and enjoy the rest of her life. Out of sheer pride that I stayed with this and will keep staying with the choice to breastfeed for as long as I can, I am hesitant to try the “hard way”. I think that this will give her the wrong message. I do however want to teach her alternative ways to soothe herself. Sometimes she’ll get so full that she is torn between wanting to go to sleep and not wanting to puke all over the place! The faces she makes out of frustration are very cute and very evident that she needs some other way to self-soothe. I don’t think I’m teaching her to be a glutton. I’m just letting her know that if she’s hungry, she can have as much as she needs to feel satisfied and hey she lets me know that she’s full by giving me a warm smile, her mouth still around my nipple, at the end of each feeding. Most times I don’t mind sitting with her and admiring her or reading a book, or writing. BUT. If I have other things to do, I have other things to do. . .
I know by now that routine is pretty important and I’m starting to construct one and if I’m available for her in the early morning or evening I’ll make those the times that I sit with her for however long she wants. During the day or late early morning, not so much. Rocking, standing with her and holding her close and bouncing works, talking to her and letting her know that she’s tired and needs to go to sleep, rubbing her skin softly and rhythmically works. And I’m talking about this once she’s slowed down on the nipple. Not when she’s already fallen asleep. Just before. Because if she does fall asleep, he/or she will most likely wake up and protest your sneakiness.Second point before this becomes a book.. . .La Leche League. I think that this is important to mention because it was not before. CONTACT your local LLL (La Leche League). It’s a support group for breastfeeding mothers all over the country. In the first weeks of her birth, the local leader actually came to my house to coach me!!! And they hold monthly meetings with very knowledgable women!!! Anyhoo.
Thanks for reading the lot if you have.
My baby is 3 wks old & I breastfeed her and I relate to all of you, my son (now 7) used to use me as a human pacifier for a long time but didn’t mind, however, now with my daughter, nights seem longer and I am already tired from not sleeping enough hours, no to mentioned my back and arms are sored from holding the baby to breastfeed and to go to sleep most through the night. This morning I was soo worried, didn’t know if I should call the breastfeeding hot line or if I should go see the Dr. to tell them that my baby wants to be on my breast 24 hrs. & to get some suggestions. Thank you for the “Chin” suggestion, I must try it before she gets more used to it.
Wow, I am so glad to know I’m not the only human pacifier out there! I have a 2 week old and she will nurse for over a half an hour, fall asleep, I’ll put her in her bassinet and she’ll wake up smacking her lips and sucking on her fingers and eventually start crying. I put her back on the breast and she falls right back asleep! I swore off co-sleeping even before she was born, but I’m starting to have an open mind, especially since I’m staying up all night with a baby attached to my breast!
I am so glad that there are other mothers out there who are going through exactly what I am experiencing. My 3.5 month old baby has been using me as a pacifier since day one and I also co-sleep with him. My philosophy is to do whatever my baby needs and provide comfort to him in whatever way and I just can not bring myself to let him “cry it out” or any of those other methods help baby to learn to self sooth to sleep. I have been trying to listen to all the advice that people give me, (even if its unwanted) because I feel like they must know more than me since I am a new mom. What I am learning is that they DON’T know more than me and they don’t know my baby the way I do. I just want to make sure that I am not setting my son up for problems in the future by not doing the “right thing” whatever that is. He will not accept a pacifier and I feel like I am the only one who can soothe him. .. so that concerns me. But it gives me lots of comfort knowing that this is happening to other mothers out there.
Hi! I got a 15 month old who still uses me as a pacifier to fall asleep! We sleep together as I’ve found that it’s the easiest thing to do as I have to get up several times at night anyway. I didn’t have a full night sleep since she was born! Gonna try this thing with the chin. But I’m not sure it will work.
I’m struggling right now with what to do- I was quite happy to let my 4 month old suck himself to sleep and would happily let him come into our bed, he always sleeps better there & I don’t believe in “training” babies to fit in with our schedules… However, from being a “good sleeper” he’s now nearly 5 months and his sleep has deteriorated to a 2 or 3 hr stretch, then he’s up every 45mins/1hr or so throughout the night- not fully awake but crying for a feed to get back to sleep. I think he needs to learn how to settle without the breast but despite holding & comforting him after latching him off when sleepy, theres always a prolonged period of very upset crying before he drops off. We’ve done this for 3 nights now but I’m not confident its the right thing. I still feed on demand throughout the night & he often falls asleep at the breast during these,What should I do?!
I am breastfeeding a four moth old who uses me as a pacifier to go to sleep. He does sleep in his cot normally till about four then comes in to bed with us. I just wanted to say that actually its really natural what did babies do before pacifiers were invented and why were they invented? Everyone says baby is using nipple and pacifier actually it?s the other way round. Its only when I speak to other mums who say there babies go into their cots and fall asleep on there own and sleep 12 hours that I feel like I am doing something wrong. But when I am really honest with myself I like the closeness and really believe that it will make my baby very secure in the long run. I am not saying you should carry on if it doesn’t suit you I’m saying try not to let others influence your feelings on it.
Sarah,
Your comments were right on. I believe also that my baby needs me for a reason- not some chunk of rubber to suck on. What were babies doing before paci’s? I trust my instincts and feel the closeness that we have is more powerful than I ever thought, and that it’s only temporary. One day your little baby will be all grown up, and you might have wished to let him/her nurse longer.
I have a breastfed 4 mo old and when pregnant I was strictly not planning on co-sleeping….she taught me otherwise. I started w her in the bassinette, and there was no way she was accepting anything but sleeping next to me in bed by her food source. So after 2 weeks, I finally had to give in as to function from sleep deprivation.
Since allowing her in the bed w me, she sleeps 12 hr/night but does wake up to feed a few times, and yes I also feel like a human paci from time to time. I think every baby is different but am very sure that at least in my case co sleeping didn’t start the cycle of usin me as a paci, it just happens. This won’t last forever, and I agree with just going w what works for you no matter what others say. It for sure has let us sleep well at night. I am going to try the chin method w her though too, because she also doesn’t fall asleep unless I nurse her.
Thanx for the great tip!
-Cat.
How many of you moms (that didn’t mention it) co-sleep? Do you think that is possibly the cause of it, because your breast has just been so readily available? I’m expecting and planning to breastfeed, but NOT co-sleep. Do you think co-sleeping has encouraged this behavior any?
My baby is only 3 1/2 wks old. Every time she is tired and wants to fall asleep, she is very fussy and wants my breast. Even after feeding just 1/2-1hr, she wants the breast again. I offer her a pacifier (NUK-given to us from the hospital), she wouldn’t take it, just cries and cries. I think she is already using me as a pacifier. The comments I read so far are all babies that are older than mine, do you think I’m worrying too early? What should I do now to avoid bigger problems in the months to come?
No, you’re not worrying too early. But don’t worry! My 4-month-old used me a pacifier from the day she was born. She never wanted and still doesn’t want a pacifier. And we have bought ALL of them, thinking she will find one she likes. No luck. My pediatrician simply said she may not ever want one, especially since I’m breastfeeding…she just wants the real thing. She just recently found her thumb and is enjoying chewing on her blanket. So I have some relief, but she still needs me to fall asleep at night. During the day, her swing will do the trick. However, our nighttime routine consists of both of us crawling into bed and feeding until she passes out. We co-sleep as well. Honestly, it’s exhausting at first and really hard on your nipples, but I adjusted and our routine works for us. The most important thing my pediatrician told me is to stop listening to other moms and just figure out what works for you and your baby. As long as you and your little one is healthy and happy…who cares about the rest ;)
I breastfeed and bottle feed but at night before her bedtime i give her a bottle with a little cereal mixed in but she still wants me to breastfeed her to sleep no matter what and will continue to wake a few times at night wanting my breast she is already five months old, it has gotten to a point where she relies only on my breast to sleep all the time. otherwise, she cries for hours until she falls asleep. i want to continue to breastfeed longer but i need her to find other ways to fall asleep. I will try the chin trick and the mam pacifier as she totally could care less for the other pacifiers I’ve bought.
it was great reading about the gentle approach…my son is 3 and a half months and as of this week started using me as a pacifier and was searching how to wean him off it.
today he also refused drinking breast milk from the bottle which he’d been doing for a month and a half any help?
I had a similar experience with my son when he was about 6- 10 weeks and my doctor told me to give him a mam pacifier for 6-9 month olds because it takes up more space in his mouth and he can feel it better. So as u pull ur breast out slowly put the pacifier in.
If this doesn’t work I was also told to feed at least an hr before bed so that the baby doesn’t associate eating with sleeping and at night, i would pump out the breast milk and mix RICE cereal with it about a tsp per oz so its heavier on the stomach.
good luck i hope one of my suggestions work
I am also in the same boat… pacifier did not work for me.. she wakes up about 4 times a night to feed.. we co sleep as well… and it works very well for us… we have a two year old as well… but… i did not have this problem with her… she is not going for anything…. she will scream and scream and scream… i had my mom take her so that she wouldn’t sense me and she cried for two hours straight… the same thing with my husband… ahhhh… trying to get back into the work schedule with this stress… it is really really hard… i am glad i am not alone… jen.
My 7-week-old son uses me as a human pacifier, and I want to break him out of it. I got a tip to use a mam pacifier – what is that?
Mam is the brand name.
I have a six month old who is starting to use me as a human pacifier at night….VERY EXAUSTING! I have a 6 year old who did the same, but for 2 1/2 years… I don’t know how I did it. I believe in the “family Bed”, so when my baby wakes, I have to roll over to breast feed him in order to fall asleep, at least 5 times a night. If he senses that I’m not right beside him, he gets sooooo upset. I can’t wait to try this new “chin” tecnique!! yeah…hopefully will get more quality sleep!
😡 Pacifiers came second 😡 Baby is using the breast as a breast and a pacifier as a substitute breast